caputo77 Posted March 19, 2023 Posted March 19, 2023 Not sure if I’m way overthinking… I went on a second date with a guy this morning/early afternoon. I picked the activity and we went to a place in our city that I love but he had never been to before. The date went well (I thought), and he texted me about ten minutes after I got home and said “so glad you showed me that spot! That was so fun and nice, gotta do it again”. I was SO confused because I didn’t know if he was referring to the place we went or the date itself when he said “gotta do it again”. I decided to be positive and assume he was referring to the date since I don’t know why he would’ve texted me after at all if he wasn’t interested. So I replied and said I had a great time too and was enjoying getting to know him. I also tacked on a comment about something we had joked about on the date at the end. He took a few hours to reply which seemed weird and just replied to my comment about the joke and then said “it’s been great getting to know you too!” The past tense kind of weirded me out (not sure if I’m overthinking that). I sent another reply to the joke and now he hasn’t answered for the rest of the day (which is the longest I’ve gone during non-work hours without hearing from him). I know he had plans with friends this afternoon and he could just be busy, but now I’m way overthinking his responses. Am I being crazy or does this seem like disinterest?
ccas93 Posted March 19, 2023 Posted March 19, 2023 if we are going to overthink here, past tense would have been "it WAS great getting to know you." wouldn't put any eggs into this basket though based on his lack of response. 1
NuevoYorko Posted March 19, 2023 Posted March 19, 2023 I think you are putting too much weight into the exchanges and he might be getting weirded out. He could probably sense your anxiety. Not fun. Anyway, leave it be. If he wants to ask you out again he will. If he doesn't, he won't. That will be disappointing but your indulgence in overthinking and analyzing won't make anything better. 2
Wiseman2 Posted March 19, 2023 Posted March 19, 2023 3 hours ago, caputo77 said: The date went well and he texted me about ten minutes after I got home and said “so glad you showed me that spot! That was so fun and nice, gotta do it again”. It seems like you both had a good time and that's a nice start. Step back and relax. Try not to text this much or try to build rapport or through texts. 2
ShyViolet Posted March 19, 2023 Posted March 19, 2023 Yes you are taking overthinking and over-analyzing to an extreme. All this insecurity and overthinking takes dating which is supposed to be enjoyable and turns it into an exhausting experience. Lighten up and try to stop obsessing over every little word he texts or doesn't text you. If he asks you out again then you will know he's interested. If not, then oh well, you will move on. This is just how it goes in dating.
BrinnM Posted March 19, 2023 Posted March 19, 2023 He texted you 10 minutes after you got home with some positive feedback on the date. I don’t see how this can be interpreted as a negative sign. He didn’t have to text you at all or he could’ve said hey I don’t like you in that romantic kind of way, but you’re a great person otherwise etc. - he didn’t do that either. Lack of response after text exchange is likely to be due to plans with friends - like you’re already assuming. No reason to overthink.
glows Posted March 19, 2023 Posted March 19, 2023 I’m coming at this from a different angle. I agree it’s best not to analyze too far into past or present tense but I also see his responses as blithe and shallow. There is no depth here, no thoughtfulness. He didn’t ask you about the rest of your day or plans for the week. There was no other commentary about any dialogue you shared. He’s responding like knee jerk reactions. A response, but not much heartbeat. No brain. The overall feeling is thoughtlessness. If you’re looking for a more thoughtful man this guy may not be it. I’d give it another date if he asks you out again but I’d be already looking elsewhere. 2
Alpacalia Posted March 19, 2023 Posted March 19, 2023 No, you're not being crazy. You're just excited. It's normal to feel unsure in situations like this, and it's also normal to take a bit of time to reply. Unfortunately, it's impossible to know for sure why he hasn't replied, but try not to jump to conclusions. It's possible he's just busy, or he could be waiting to see if you'll reach out first. The best thing to do is to give him the benefit of the doubt and wait to see if he reaches out again. 1
stillafool Posted March 20, 2023 Posted March 20, 2023 That's why it's best to be seeing more than one person until you get serious about a man. Otherwise, women just seem to obsess over hearing from that one man. Get busy doing other things. Call up your friends and go out and have some fun.
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