ExpatInItaly Posted March 15, 2023 Posted March 15, 2023 I wouldn't date a guy who had pictures of his ex on his wall. I'd see myself out. Simple. 6
Els Posted March 16, 2023 Posted March 16, 2023 You obviously have the right to do whatever you like with your own house, and in the same vein your partner has the right to choose not to date someone who has a photo of an ex on his wall. You can keep the photo up if you like, of course, but just accept that you may lose her (and many other future partners as well). Personally, I'd be okay with it if it was a group photo (i.e. a photo with her and 5 other college friends), but not in the context of a couples' photo. Nor would I have photos of an ex hanging on my walls and expect a partner to be OK with it... that's just common sense IMO? Instagram is not the same because that's like having photos of an ex buried in the history of your phone gallery - nobody reasonably expects a partner to go through ALL their old photos and delete everything with an ex in it. But hanging on the wall of your house... that's a prominent, current, and continuous choice, and that's what makes it different. If you must have an online example to understand this, perhaps consider it like your gf having a photo of her with her ex as her current Facebook profile photo, and she is active on Facebook daily. 3
Wiseman2 Posted March 16, 2023 Posted March 16, 2023 (edited) On 3/14/2023 at 11:33 PM, IsItReallyYou said: Do you think that keeping past photos of exes up on instagram is weird also? No one should try to redecorate your place. However the onus is on you to make your place reflect that you're a single man and ready to date, without momentos collections around about past relationships. Edited March 16, 2023 by Wiseman2 3
Alvi Posted March 17, 2023 Posted March 17, 2023 What is the fastest and surest way to have your date or your partner to run away like their hair is on fire? Put a picture of your ex on the wall of your living room. 5
Kassieee Posted March 17, 2023 Posted March 17, 2023 (edited) She's insecure. Why else would it bother her. Take it down if you care enough to make her feel better. Edited March 17, 2023 by justaskingok
Stret Posted March 17, 2023 Posted March 17, 2023 Simple solution. What is more important to you? Decide and act accordingly. As long as you don't think that a relationship with a woman is more important than your collage, then you're not ready for a serious relationship or you're just too self absorbed too see that the feelings of others matter too. You didn't mention your GF's feelings even in one sentence and that when a whole new person walks into our lives, we have to do some adjustments and accommodate that person, find a safe and comfortable space for her. Otherwise, the relationship will fail sooner or later. If you care about her, take the photo off the wall and replace it with kittens and puppies....or something. Be creative and make it make sense. Or lose a girl. Whichever. But you seem a bit too self-centred to realise that there is another person involved and it is just me, me, me, me... 5
glows Posted March 18, 2023 Posted March 18, 2023 (edited) I would probably start laughing uncontrollably if I saw photos like this because this is something that might have irked me to no end when I was younger. At this time I have totally no opinion nor would I care. If it did bother me in some way or another due to placement or context of the photo you wouldn’t see me again. Definitely no discussions or arguments warranted or even necessary. Here you have someone who is actually spending her breath explaining herself to you and possibly saving many other women the disservice or work involved showing you what might be inappropriate to many. I’d count this as a learning experience. Even if you may disagree. Maybe it was the way she came at you talking about your display or wall art and it caught you on the defensive as this is your home. I’d think about whether you both are compatible overall and go from there. All this may be small in the bigger picture if you don’t really get along or have similar goals. I’d also watch for argumentativeness and willfulness coming from her or need to change who you are. You both may have gotten too attached too quickly and are both insecure. Edited March 18, 2023 by glows 1
Wiseman2 Posted March 18, 2023 Posted March 18, 2023 On 3/14/2023 at 10:53 PM, IsItReallyYou said: who is more right? For her, it's a boundary not to have exes in sight. For me, it's a boundary that people don't get to tell me what to re-arrange The real problem is the who's right who's wrong mindset. It seems she was at least trying to negotiate something rather than just call it quits when she saw a deal breaker. She could have seen it and just walked away saying "we're not a match" without mentioning why. 2
Mrin Posted March 18, 2023 Posted March 18, 2023 (edited) On 3/15/2023 at 11:05 AM, smackie9 said: If you ever want a relationship with someone....take it down on your own accord. Agree . OP: why are you even right fighting this? It's a perfectly reasonable request of hers and I would say the vast majority of women and probably men would take exception just as she has. Also... Does anybody else think #4 (from the OP) is a little weird? You've only been dating a month and you have multiple photos of her in your house? That seems a little premature... I don't know... Maybe I'm just really slow in this regard. But that would freak me out too if a woman I was dating for only a month had multiple photos of me at her place. Edited March 18, 2023 by Mrin 6
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