NuevoYorko Posted March 17, 2023 Posted March 17, 2023 (edited) On 3/14/2023 at 3:29 PM, Glx said: why do you think i should do it? BREAK UP!!!!! I just looked at your posting history. You should do the same. Look over your past in this relationship. I'm sorry, but I would venture to say that you are close to emotionally abusive towards this man and it's been consistently going on for years. Frankly, it's terrible. You've acknowledged that you caused problems throughout your history with him but it seems like you don't really take ownership for the situation. Bottom line is that NO relationship could survive your behavior. Unfortunately, this man seems to be quite weak and malleable and gets hooked back in over and over again, which is on him. Since he's not posting here, we can't help him. You're the one asking what to do, and the answer is 100% clear: Leave this man in peace and go get some serious therapy for yourself, if you ever want to have a loving relationship that isn't poisoned by your jealousy and insecurity. Edited March 17, 2023 by NuevoYorko 1 1
Mrin Posted March 18, 2023 Posted March 18, 2023 20 hours ago, NuevoYorko said: Leave this man in peace and go get some serious therapy for yourself, if you ever want to have a loving relationship that isn't poisoned by your jealousy and insecurity. Holy dysfunction junction Batman! I just read her post history. I couldn't agree more with you. OP: this relationship is incredibly toxic. And, from your prior post it looks like it has everything to do with you. Granted, there are always two sides to every coin so I am sure he played his part in this dysfunction. But dear Lord... This relationship is just... Gross. You guys both need to get off this roller coaster and never look back. 1
Alpacalia Posted March 18, 2023 Posted March 18, 2023 Theoretically, who your ex slept with isn’t your business because if you weren’t together, you weren’t together. Separated, you did your own thing. Are you worried that your ex only came back because things didn't work out with the other woman, and wasn't honest with you? It doesn't matter who your ex slept with after the breakup or travelled on vacation with; what matters is his attitude after finding out. The length and significance of his relationship with the other woman isn't so much the issue rather the fact that you still had feelings for him and were hurt by their relationship. Even if you stopped communicating with each other, the underlying issue of your attachment to him and expectations of him would still remain. He had relations with someone else despite your feelings for him, which means that you still had glimmers of hope that the relationship could work. As far as you were concerned, he reciprocated your feelings. Instead, he went to another individual and shattered your expectations. Since you were broken up when he slept with someone else he really didn’t violate your relationship. But if he broke up with you just to sleep with someone else, that would be a different situation. At this point, you've already got back together with your ex so you have to move past this if you want the relationship to work. As much as this bothers you, he needs to know you forgive him, wish to move on, and will not use this against him or bring it up in future conflicts, so he won't face the consequences throughout your relationship. Be honest with yourself, if you're never going to be able to let go of this, then it's best you separate from your boyfriend.
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