Myra Posted March 6, 2023 Share Posted March 6, 2023 Hi everyone, I need some advice about a situation im going through. So 3-4 years ago, while I was at uni, I met a guy through some mutual friends (We'll call him S) and we hit it off immediately. He was super sweet, funny, extremely respectful and caring. We would spend a lot of time together, but neither of us confessed feelings because we didnt want to be in a relationship until we fully got to know each other. We got very close and his friends told me he liked me and well, I liked him too, but again, we just didnt say anything to each other but it was very obvious. Anyways, during the winter break of 2019, my parents had forced me to get engaged through arranged marriage, and I had no idea about it until i went back home to my parents house. I was devastated because i was only 21 at the time, i didnt know who I was getting engaged to and it just happened in front of my eyes and i couldnt do anything about it. I have a couple more months of uni left and it was safe to say that that winter break was emotionally traumatising for me. anyways when i came back to uni after the winter break, S had found out that i had gotten engaged to someone, and he couldnt believe it because well, we both liked each other. so i explained everything that happened during that winter break and I told him that I couldnt do anything then but I was going to put up a fight with my parents to end this and he understood (because it was common in our 'culture', but its not anymore), but of course, he took a step back from our friendship, and we would just talk here and there. Then COVID hit, everyone went back home, and eventually, S and I had lost contact. During COVID time, when I was with my parents, I fought and fought to let me break off this forced engagement, and eventually, they agreed and I broke it off after 2 years. Now after 3 years, my parents and I are finally in a good place. And so all this time, i was never really able to forget about S, because our bond was undeniable, and I did understand why he stepped back. So 2 weeks ago, after 3 years, I decided to reach out to him. I wanted to be in a place where I could put the past behind me and move forward. I reached out to him saying its been very long and that i was reminiscing our uni days, and i thought i would reach out. He replied and was very very open to talking, which i didnt expect, and it was like we picked up from where we had left it 3 years ago. He immediately asked me if I was single, and told me himself he was still single. We would talk a few times a day (because he lives far away and we have a 10 hour time difference), and it was a constant ongoing conversation, but he would take a while to reply which is understandable After a week of talking straight he admitted that hes been taking a while to reply because hes had a tough week. He is working for his fathers business and that he only leaves work at 10pm, and that hes being overburdened with work, and that hes stressed out. He was very open about that. He then asked me how life has been after graduating and moving back home. I replied to that, and that was last week. Since then he hasnt even opened the messages, even though he asked me a few question, to which i replied and he hasnt replied in a week. Is he not interested? Is it just work? Any Advice Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 6, 2023 Share Posted March 6, 2023 If he never asked you out when you guys were together at the university and he's leaving your messages unread now, it is safe to say he is not interested. He just thinks someone who was in college when he was there reached out to say hi. Why did you say it was obvious that he liked you if he never took you out? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 6, 2023 Share Posted March 6, 2023 Myra, he has a ten hour time difference. There is no reason to think that he may be entertaining romantic thoughts about you when it's not really practicable Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted March 7, 2023 Share Posted March 7, 2023 I can't see this going anywhere as he now lives so far away. He doesn't sound romantically interested anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted March 7, 2023 Share Posted March 7, 2023 (edited) Not replying generally means they are not interested. Maybe he realized that it would be a waste of time to go down this road with you when you live 10 hours away from each other. Trying to start up a long distance relationship is not practical and many people wouldnt be interested in taking that on because it just makes no sense. Edited March 7, 2023 by ShyViolet Link to post Share on other sites
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