hotboi47 Posted March 6, 2023 Posted March 6, 2023 As title suggests this girl has cancelled/postponed 2 dates. Then managed to take her out for 3rd time. 2 weeks go by and organized to hang out recently on a Friday night, but she brushed it off and we didn't meet up. We've been on 3 dates, but she has also not followed through with plans 3 times. Shes always sorry and feels bad and says she'll work out when she's free but doesn't let me know... She was still texting and initiating conversation. I pulled back a bit after the brush off and stopped initiating conversation and sure enough 4 or 5 days later she reached out. She actually did say after our 2nd date that she was still a bit nervous. She is a quiet girl. Would nerves be getting the better of her or she's just not that interested?
Wiseman2 Posted March 6, 2023 Posted March 6, 2023 1 hour ago, hotboi47 said: We've been on 3 dates, but she has also not followed through with plans 3 times. Keep in mind that after 3 dates, you're both still talking to and meeting others. People make time for what's important to them, whether they're shy/nervous or not. Cancelling half the time is a red flag. Step back and leave the ball in her court. Let her contact you with firm plans. Don't keep rewarding her for flaking on you. 2
JTSW Posted March 6, 2023 Posted March 6, 2023 2 hours ago, hotboi47 said: She actually did say after our 2nd date that she was still a bit nervous. She is a quiet girl. Would nerves be getting the better of her or she's just not that interested? She's interested but also has admitted that she is really nervous and that's ok. She obviously does like you if she continues to reach out. I think for her, it's just a case of when she feels ready for a date she will be there. Of course I understand that its frustrating for you, but she sounds like a shy girl.
Gaeta Posted March 6, 2023 Posted March 6, 2023 Nah, not buying it. If work makes her nervous she just doesn't show up? When it's time to meet your mom she'll bail out on your mom's roast beef how many times? Search for someone who's more stable. 3
flow28 Posted March 20, 2023 Posted March 20, 2023 She's either really nervous and awkward, and scared to go on the next date, or she's just not that into you. Just look at her personality and judge her based on that. Is she shy overall? Does she show signs of attraction to you? How enthusiastic is she? You may have to make her more comfortable around you if you know her from real life. However, if she keeps cancelling dates like that it's a bad sign. Could be she has other prospects too and is too lazy to go on that date, especially if it's online dating. Can't really tell though.
ShyViolet Posted March 21, 2023 Posted March 21, 2023 Being "nervous" is not an excuse for rude or flaky behavior. If I were you my patience with this would be wearing very thin. If she continues being very flaky then you should stop wasting your time with this.
Alpacalia Posted March 21, 2023 Posted March 21, 2023 She canceled for legitimate reasons and can't escape a commitment. Either way, she canceled. So what do you do? You do nothing. The notion that the work belongs to you to initiate this nonsense needs to stop. Chin up, friend. Get back out there.
smackie9 Posted March 21, 2023 Posted March 21, 2023 Don't waste any more time....I hope you have met someone else that is more available to you.
Calmandfocused Posted March 21, 2023 Posted March 21, 2023 Not buying the “nerves” either. Unfortunately there is a recently new culture on the dating scene whereby “daters” are looking for texting relationship only. Pen pals essentially. Apparently these text “relationships” help people to feel validated, important and attractive. Who needs a an actual date when a text is enough? I think this is what you’re dealing with here Op. A texter, not a dater. Id stop engaging in her validation exercises if I were you. Either stop replying to the texts or throw her completely by calling her the next time she texts you.
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