mustangsally Posted November 5, 2005 Posted November 5, 2005 My ex dumped me a while ago. he was very weird and took it back and forth several times and was genuinely very upset. He would call me crying afterwards and cry to my friends, for which I had no sympathy for him. It was his fault after all! we were both each other's first significant relationship. He wanted to be friends, but I said no. when reading through forums, etc. I realized "No contact" was something I should be practicing, so I asked him not call me while I was away at school, etc. It was half-hearted, but I think he was very offended by that. He then got another girlfriend after I cut the cord and when I found out I didn't talk to him for a few months. he tried to make contact with me a couple of times, but I ignored it the way everyone suggested. He even showed up at my house...very bizarre indeed! But I ignored it as well. Time went on and I began to get over him. We would sometimes exchange friendly e-mails. I dated someone else for a while and felt secure enough to talk to my ex without falling back in love with him. Fall rolls around and here we are at the same school all of the sudden. we are now seeing each other more than we did when we dated. At first, he was VERY excited to see me and open to talk to me about anything but US. But curiously, it seems that some people know our story through his side....and I really wonder what it is. He apparently has pointed me out to several fraternity brothers, etc. who will always say "Hey! You're so and so's ex!" And yes I have a name! I always think. He doesn't appear to paint a bad picture of me to people and he seems to talk about me at times to others who recognize me from his stories. As time went on and we hung out more, I told him i hoped we could be friends considering our history and that I thought at this point we could probably hang out and not fall back in love. After that, he stopped helping me with my computer, wanting to sit with me at places, or even coming to parties and functions where I would be at. i started to get really hurt and frustrated because it was like I wasn't good enough to be his girlfriend, but now I'm not good enough to be his friend?! Time went on and things like this occured. He always begins conversations and says hello to me and people still refer to me as "his ex" (seemingly positive though). we had a conversation the other day and I texted him a joke and he called back right away and started talking to me about shallow subject matters. Then, as the week progressed, i started to get more agitated with what was going on and wanted to have a conversation with him that was more than just "I went to a rad party last night!". I e-mailed him to which I got no reply and followed it up with a phone call. I told him to call me back or talk to me in person, but he refused. That night we were supposed to go to an event together, but he "mysteriously" didn't show and when I got back a little early, he was sitting there online. I left it alone. Then I saw him today and it was the usual "Hi! How are you?" with a big smile as if I hadn't even said boo to him about having a talk. One of our friends tried to talk to him, and he wouldn't budge except to say that he thought I was a great girl, but he didn't want to say why we weren't friends. He's not a very open person by any stretch of the imagination. The more I talk to people about him or have talked to people about him, the more I realize that his life was filled with shallow relationships (but he apparently cared deeply about all of these people and still does) and that i was and still kind of am the only person that really KNEW him in a way other than most people do. I remember when we were dating, he talked of his best friend and how his best friend didn't really even know him that well and I was in turn his best friend because I knew everything about him. now, this isn't a simple issue of "moving on", its something that's really affecting my current quest for a relationship. I really hit it off with this guy and am interested in pursuing him. The only thing I want from my ex is knowledge that he cares about me as a person. I don't know if you guys can provide the answer, but its really hindering my ability to move forward and trust someone else. Why get emotionally involved with someone if they're not going to really care about me after the sex is over? My ex has "friends" he doesn't even really like that much and can and will call people he doesn't necessarily like. he told me that when we broke up actually and said no matter how my words hurt him, he would still want to be friends with me becase he cares about everyone. Should I take his behavior as blatantly not caring about me as an individual and our relationship or just him being immature and unable to handle a conversation with me that goes deeper than anything other than jokes and talking about cars and waffles? I guess I could see it going either way. I just need help rationalizing this so i can move to a new relationship.
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