Wiseman2 Posted March 2, 2023 Posted March 2, 2023 5 hours ago, speca3 said: Hmm im stuck in a tricky situation. You're not necessarily "stuck". If you approach her with your interest it could backfire. If you act professional with her and date outside of work, its a win-win situation. No workplace drama and women you know are interested.
Author speca3 Posted March 3, 2023 Author Posted March 3, 2023 7 hours ago, Ami1uwant said: What you described coukd have bern an opportunity to kiss her. the risk in thi….what happens if it doesn’t go well. If you are in a small company will coworkers turn against you if she's well liked. Thsts after workplace rules. Huh, kiss? i barely know her.
Author speca3 Posted March 3, 2023 Author Posted March 3, 2023 6 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: You're not necessarily "stuck". If you approach her with your interest it could backfire. If you act professional with her and date outside of work, its a win-win situation. No workplace drama and women you know are interested. Isnt that contradictory? i mean the way your paragraphs read.
Ashly Beer Posted March 4, 2023 Posted March 4, 2023 (edited) It's natural to wonder if someone you're interested in is interested in you too. But it's important to remember that everyone expresses their interest differently. Some people may be more reserved or shy, while others may be more outgoing and flirtatious. The best way to determine if a woman is interested in you is to look for signs of attraction. Does she make prolonged eye contact with you? Does she smile and laugh at your jokes? Does she seem to go out of her way to spend time with you or initiate conversations with you? These could all be indicators that she is interested in you. However, it's also important to pay attention to her body language and verbal cues. If she seems uncomfortable or disinterested when you're around, it's possible that she may not be interested in you in that way. Ultimately, the best way to know for sure if a woman is interested in you is to communicate with her directly. Ask her out on a date or simply have an honest conversation with her about your feelings. It can be nerve-wracking, but it's the only way to know for sure. I wish you a nice day and hope I could help you. Edited March 4, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Spam
Author speca3 Posted March 5, 2023 Author Posted March 5, 2023 16 hours ago, Ashly Beer said: It's natural to wonder if someone you're interested in is interested in you too. But it's important to remember that everyone expresses their interest differently. Some people may be more reserved or shy, while others may be more outgoing and flirtatious. The best way to determine if a woman is interested in you is to look for signs of attraction. Does she make prolonged eye contact with you? Does she smile and laugh at your jokes? Does she seem to go out of her way to spend time with you or initiate conversations with you? These could all be indicators that she is interested in you. However, it's also important to pay attention to her body language and verbal cues. If she seems uncomfortable or disinterested when you're around, it's possible that she may not be interested in you in that way. Ultimately, the best way to know for sure if a woman is interested in you is to communicate with her directly. Ask her out on a date or simply have an honest conversation with her about your feelings. It can be nerve-wracking, but it's the only way to know for sure. I wish you a nice day and hope I could help you. Why was this marked as spam? Anyway, she doesn’t seem uncomfortable. She initiates convos and seems outgoing. However, i wouldnt take that as much of a sign as the other stuff she has done. What gets me is the touching.
Jessica1985 Posted March 5, 2023 Posted March 5, 2023 It seems to me she does but she could be promiscuous I mean some people are to a point. But I see no red flags, other than it being in the work environment, she could be using you for personal gain, a crouch, or just to use you to get up to where she needs to be. Or, not. The things you have written and what she has done for you, seems to me, in my personal opinion has genuine intentions. But let this be reminded of. Majority of society likes to throw out the words narcissist, sociopath, toxic , et cetera like they're just everyday words when it comes to men specifically. And, with Many women in today's society were forced to be strong or grow up faster than they should have. Not having the right role models to guide them. Giving them A certain type of charisma that is both questionable and daring. Women, i believe are more prone to " masking" quite well & can be the masters of manipulation. Always have your gauard up, no matter a woman, new crowds, a work place. At the end of this all, I wish you nothing but the best for you and this person.
glows Posted March 5, 2023 Posted March 5, 2023 (edited) On 3/2/2023 at 7:49 AM, speca3 said: Hmm im stuck in a tricky situation. and yes it was a company event. It was the company’s first anniversary. l’ll have to think about what i want to do tbh. Sometimes doing and saying very little is the best course of action. Do a little mini check up on yourself here instead and reflect: How are you feeling about the job in general? Is it going anywhere for you? Do you see yourself in this career? Are you bored out of your mind? Looking for distractions? It’s not unusual to be attracted to coworkers or colleagues but the real test is in what you do or don’t do and how reactive you are to those hormones and emotions in light of the disadvantages or ultimately, I suppose, what you’re trying to achieve at work. If you’re open to treating work like a social or where you meet people to date and romance then go right ahead and enjoy the interactions and ask her out. If it’s not and you have firm boundaries about it, then pass on doing anything at all. It’s a good time also to observe if the company is unprofessional in general or its management is something you’re onboard with. If you need the work experience, get it and get out. Apply for other jobs and move on in your career. No reason to stagnate in this one place if it’s not working for you. Edited March 5, 2023 by glows
Author speca3 Posted March 5, 2023 Author Posted March 5, 2023 2 hours ago, Jessica1985 said: It seems to me she does but she could be promiscuous I mean some people are to a point. But I see no red flags, other than it being in the work environment, she could be using you for personal gain, a crouch, or just to use you to get up to where she needs to be. Or, not. The things you have written and what she has done for you, seems to me, in my personal opinion has genuine intentions. But let this be reminded of. Majority of society likes to throw out the words narcissist, sociopath, toxic , et cetera like they're just everyday words when it comes to men specifically. And, with Many women in today's society were forced to be strong or grow up faster than they should have. Not having the right role models to guide them. Giving them A certain type of charisma that is both questionable and daring. Women, i believe are more prone to " masking" quite well & can be the masters of manipulation. Always have your gauard up, no matter a woman, new crowds, a work place. At the end of this all, I wish you nothing but the best for you and this person. You’re right, it’s hard to tell what her intentions are. If she wants personal gain, why is she targeting a newcomer? Wouldnt it be better to target someone that has been working there for a while? If it is about money, isnt it better to target the people that make more than me?
Author speca3 Posted March 5, 2023 Author Posted March 5, 2023 34 minutes ago, glows said: Sometimes doing and saying very little is the best course of action. Do a little mini check up on yourself here instead and reflect: How are you feeling about the job in general? Is it going anywhere for you? Do you see yourself in this career? Are you bored out of your mind? Looking for distractions? It’s not unusual to be attracted to coworkers or colleagues but the real test is in what you do or don’t do and how reactive you are to those hormones and emotions in light of the disadvantages or ultimately, I suppose, what you’re trying to achieve at work. If you’re open to treating work like a social or where you meet people to date and romance then go right ahead and enjoy the interactions and ask her out. If it’s not and you have firm boundaries about it, then pass on doing anything at all. It’s a good time also to observe if the company is unprofessional in general or its management is something you’re onboard with. If you need the work experience, get it and get out. Apply for other jobs and move on in your career. No reason to stagnate in this one place if it’s not working for you. Well my job has quite a bit of work right now, I do get coding tasks that are somewhat tricky to do right. But it helps immensely because it all goes on the résumé. I wouldnt say I’m bored. I’m driven by making money and getting experience as a newcomer. I dont think that this company is that strict with their policies tbh. Its right in the middle between casual and formal. Its a smaller company. But then again, she’s the HR and is touching her coworker in places that aren’t deemed as “just a friendly touch”, more so placing her hand there. Im a bit torn, while people have made good points about keeping it professional, even if there is mutual interest (i still dont know if it is mutual), i have also heard of “success stories” where people find their SO through work.
glows Posted March 5, 2023 Posted March 5, 2023 That’s fair. I think people find romance at work but it’s up to you as well to draw those boundaries. It doesn’t always depend on what the workplace policy may be. Just because there isn’t a sign saying not to jump off a cliff doesn’t mean it’s ok to. Know what I mean? Regarding her hand and her inappropriate behaviour that also comes from what you expect in an employer. Being younger you may not know what to expect or haven’t seen many examples of professionalism in the workplace. Since there’s no workplace policy, the judgment call is up to you. My suggestion earlier is to be aware of what’s going on around you and try not to think of this one company as the only thing there is. There’s more to look to. Have some longer term goals in mind. You don’t have to be bored but stay motivated and have an eye for your longer term goals too. If you seek more professional leaders and colleagues, eventually you’ll move on and want to be in that crowd. We choose who we want to be and where we want to go. Looking back no one ever talked to me like this. I just moved towards what worked better for me and I’m glad for it - that I never settled or stuck with a company I couldn’t get behind or disagreed with management I felt was poor. All the best! Hope things work out for you in whatever you choose.
princessaurora Posted March 5, 2023 Posted March 5, 2023 Some people are naturally flirty and touch the people they're teasing. I've always been this way but not to the extent of putting my hand on someone's stomach. That to me indicates a woman who is very confident in herself and used to getting what she wants, and is going about it in an almost intimidating way. She knows she's making you nervous and may even get off on that fact. As for whether or not she's genuinely interested in you or sees you as her latest challenge, that remains to be seen. But if you were to pursue something with her, regardless of what her intentions are, I would expect her bold behavior to continue all the way to the bedroom. .
Author speca3 Posted March 6, 2023 Author Posted March 6, 2023 14 hours ago, glows said: That’s fair. I think people find romance at work but it’s up to you as well to draw those boundaries. It doesn’t always depend on what the workplace policy may be. Just because there isn’t a sign saying not to jump off a cliff doesn’t mean it’s ok to. Know what I mean? Regarding her hand and her inappropriate behaviour that also comes from what you expect in an employer. Being younger you may not know what to expect or haven’t seen many examples of professionalism in the workplace. Since there’s no workplace policy, the judgment call is up to you. My suggestion earlier is to be aware of what’s going on around you and try not to think of this one company as the only thing there is. There’s more to look to. Have some longer term goals in mind. You don’t have to be bored but stay motivated and have an eye for your longer term goals too. If you seek more professional leaders and colleagues, eventually you’ll move on and want to be in that crowd. We choose who we want to be and where we want to go. Looking back no one ever talked to me like this. I just moved towards what worked better for me and I’m glad for it - that I never settled or stuck with a company I couldn’t get behind or disagreed with management I felt was poor. All the best! Hope things work out for you in whatever you choose. Thank you. i want to remain here for at least a year since it’s a my first company ever i work at. I do not want to remain here for the rest of my career ofc, unless they have good salary raises, but i think that’s pretty unrealistic since its a startup company. The real expectations start in companies that have 100+ employees imo. 1
Author speca3 Posted March 6, 2023 Author Posted March 6, 2023 10 hours ago, princessaurora said: Some people are naturally flirty and touch the people they're teasing. I've always been this way but not to the extent of putting my hand on someone's stomach. That to me indicates a woman who is very confident in herself and used to getting what she wants, and is going about it in an almost intimidating way. She knows she's making you nervous and may even get off on that fact. As for whether or not she's genuinely interested in you or sees you as her latest challenge, that remains to be seen. But if you were to pursue something with her, regardless of what her intentions are, I would expect her bold behavior to continue all the way to the bedroom. . Sorry what do you mean by get off?
Wiseman2 Posted March 6, 2023 Posted March 6, 2023 17 hours ago, speca3 said: have also heard of “success stories” where people find their SO through work. Is this what you are hoping for? That her behavior indicates interest and an opportunity to ask her out? Or are you concerned that her touching is "inappropriate", as you called it? Because either her touching is welcome or it's not and that's for you to decide.
Author speca3 Posted March 6, 2023 Author Posted March 6, 2023 13 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Is this what you are hoping for? That her behavior indicates interest and an opportunity to ask her out? Or are you concerned that her touching is "inappropriate", as you called it? Because either her touching is welcome or it's not and that's for you to decide. I do like her yes, but that stuff is not something that should be done so early on. It takes some time to get there. does it feel good if someone does it you like? Yes, but again, i dont think jumping into that so early is a good idea. im gonna be honest, i have never dated even at my current age, maybe im being too slow, idk.
petee Posted March 6, 2023 Posted March 6, 2023 (edited) 5 hours ago, speca3 said: I do like her yes, but that stuff is not something that should be done so early on. It takes some time to get there. does it feel good if someone does it you like? Yes, but again, i dont think jumping into that so early is a good idea. im gonna be honest, i have never dated even at my current age, maybe im being too slow, idk. Not too slow, you’re doing just fine. However, there’s some not so much we can offer before you just have to make a decision. How about you ask her what she’s up to at the weekend and mention that you want to go see a film, but your pals have already seen it. If she suggests she’d like to see it then you can ask, if she remains quiet then don’t give in, find another angle. You like her, but self preservation means this may not be the ‘boy meets girl, start dating’ outcome you’d like. I don’t think her stomach touch was sexual assault or any sort of assault, so don’t report her to HR, if it’s too much then disregard my angle above and perhaps find someone else? Im pretty sure she’d turn her back on you if you make a formal complaint. Edited March 6, 2023 by petee
Author speca3 Posted March 6, 2023 Author Posted March 6, 2023 17 minutes ago, petee said: Not too slow, you’re doing just fine. However, there’s some not so much we can offer before you just have to make a decision. How about you ask her what she’s up to at the weekend and mention that you want to go see a film, but your pals have already seen it. If she suggests she’d like to see it then you can ask, if she remains quiet then don’t give in, find another angle. You like her, but self preservation means this may not be the ‘boy meets girl, start dating’ outcome you’d like. I don’t think her stomach touch was sexual assault or any sort of assault, so don’t report her to HR, if it’s too much then disregard my angle above and perhaps find someone else? Im pretty sure she’d turn her back on you if you make a formal complaint. I would ask her but the thing is, why wouldnt she if she is already that confident? Get me? i dont think it was assault at all, just invasive for my liking. and i cant really complain to HR, because she is the HR.
JTSW Posted March 6, 2023 Posted March 6, 2023 1 minute ago, speca3 said: I would ask her but the thing is, why wouldnt she if she is already that confident? Get me? i dont think it was assault at all, just invasive for my liking. and i cant really complain to HR, because she is the HR. She did not assault you at all, that's just ridiculous. I don't think she wants to be the first to ask because you knows that you are nervous. She is dropping multiple hints so you can ask her out when you are comfortable and at your own pace. 1
petee Posted March 6, 2023 Posted March 6, 2023 1 hour ago, JTSW said: She did not assault you at all, that's just ridiculous. I don't think she wants to be the first to ask because you knows that you are nervous. She is dropping multiple hints so you can ask her out when you are comfortable and at your own pace. Totally agree, male or female, you should just ask. Fretting about it isn’t that cool, I’m sure it will be just fine, with the huge likelihood she’ll accept. Leave it too long and you may learn a hard lesson is someone does exactly what you want to do. She is not the enemy, the enemy here is fear. Nothing ventured, nothing gained; the law.
princessaurora Posted March 6, 2023 Posted March 6, 2023 10 hours ago, speca3 said: Sorry what do you mean by get off? It's a turn on for her, sexually. Just like some men enjoy the conquest, some women do, too.
glows Posted March 7, 2023 Posted March 7, 2023 Meh. Considering you’re starting out and wanting to have fun, I’d say go for it and ask her out. Personally, no. Reputation follows you past one company and this woman isn’t worth it. I wouldn’t bother mixing work and social. Is she a lot older, OP?
Author speca3 Posted March 7, 2023 Author Posted March 7, 2023 19 hours ago, JTSW said: She did not assault you at all, that's just ridiculous. I don't think she wants to be the first to ask because you knows that you are nervous. She is dropping multiple hints so you can ask her out when you are comfortable and at your own pace. I kind of tried to ask her out but im not sure if she got the hint. she was talking to me while we were eating lunch and i said after some silence “its good that i have work now, because when i was a week in i had no real work to do and it was hard to sit” she said “i could tell”. I then said “now i have quite a bit of work and the time goes by fast. I also find it boring at home on the weekends now, i prefer to be at work”. She said “yes, that’s true” Did she get what i was trying to say?
Author speca3 Posted March 7, 2023 Author Posted March 7, 2023 8 hours ago, glows said: Meh. Considering you’re starting out and wanting to have fun, I’d say go for it and ask her out. Personally, no. Reputation follows you past one company and this woman isn’t worth it. I wouldn’t bother mixing work and social. Is she a lot older, OP? No she isnt older than me. She is 21, im 24.
JTSW Posted March 7, 2023 Posted March 7, 2023 8 minutes ago, speca3 said: I kind of tried to ask her out but im not sure if she got the hint. she was talking to me while we were eating lunch and i said after some silence “its good that i have work now, because when i was a week in i had no real work to do and it was hard to sit” she said “i could tell”. I then said “now i have quite a bit of work and the time goes by fast. I also find it boring at home on the weekends now, i prefer to be at work”. She said “yes, that’s true” Did she get what i was trying to say? Not quite asking her out. Try asking her what she does on weekends/after work and go from there.
Author speca3 Posted March 7, 2023 Author Posted March 7, 2023 2 hours ago, JTSW said: Not quite asking her out. Try asking her what she does on weekends/after work and go from there. Hmm… if i asked her that would she get the hint?
Recommended Posts