Just went on first proper date since breakup. it didn't go well!

[Lamron300]

Hi all,

I hope you’re well!

As some of you may know, my 2.5 year relationship ended about 5 weeks ago. I didn’t think I would start trying to date again soon..but it’s the only thing that really raised me out of my dump. My ex partner manipulated me and cheated on me and the whole relationship was rather unpleasant and unhappy. I’ve had around 4 counselling sessions. 
 

Anyway, I went on a date tonight (just got home). I matched with her on hinge about a week ago. We spoke everyday for a week and finally met today. I felt a good rapport going into the date. I said in my head as long as she’s the same as she is on text we will be okay. 
 

We went to a bar which she picked. We talked all night, no awkward silences. She talks a lot so she did most of the talking and I listened and asked questions. I felt I wanted to see her again, the date was nice. She wasn’t very flirty over text and on the date. I tried a bit. My ‘worry’ is was I ever her type from the beginning. She said she likes going out a lot and meeting new people, which is a good thing but also a red flag to me. This could mean a date is less of a big thing to her as it is just an outing, a day not at home. 
 

Anyway, she messaged me after I said I had fun that she didn’t feel a romantic spark but she had fun and she’s not sure if it would develop into more than friendship. Inadvertently, I feel worse! As my ex cheated I feel she denied me 2.5 years, where I could have met someone compatible but at the same time I forgot about the knock backs you get in dating.

To summarise, I own two businesses, have my own house and my dog. I am very busy so I have to make time for dating. Today I had to work very very short hours to make sure I arrived to the date on time at 7.30pm. I had to give dog shorter evening work etc. Dating is a big deal to me as I have to take a lot of time out, which is okay as you need to put effort. However, how do you get the balance? I only really want to go on a date with someone who really thinks it could work and not see it as an outing where it is unlikely it ever would have worked. I consider myself attractive but for example I’m black, I’m 6’4, I have brown eyes and I’m slim. If my dates usual type is someone with blonde hair and blue eyes and tattoos, I would have been on to a loser from the beginning. I’m just trying to gauge peoples genuine attraction prior to a date. For example I’m quite ‘lonely’ right now but I don’t want to waste my time. I’m just so confused. 

[basil67]

I'm sorry it didn't work out.   What you're experiencing is the inherent problem with OLD - one really doesn't get a strong sense of the other until they meet face to face.   I don't think there's any getting around this.  

In your shoes, I would have walked away from this date not wanting to bother with her further.  Thing is, you missed a big red flag:  She talks a lot so she did most of the talking and I listened and asked questions.  Yes, it's good that she's chatty and this is better than being with someone where conversation is like pulling teeth, but it sounds like she didn't ask you anything about yourself.  This tells me she just likes to hear herself talk and therefore is a poor conversationalist.  Perhaps you could have kept seeing her for a while, but eventually you would have gotten tired of her lack of interest in you.  

59 minutes ago, Lamron300 said:

I’m 6’4, I have brown eyes and I’m slim. If my dates usual type is someone with blonde hair and blue eyes and tattoos, I would have been on to a loser from the beginning.

Thing is, if your "type" is too narrow in any direction, you're going to find yourself with far less options than someone who's very flexible with race and appearance.   

 

[Ami1uwant]

This happens all the time.

 

some people are stuck thinking they want an instant spark but often love doesn’t work that way.

 

my rule is if you have a good firstmeet and no red flags, you should have at least another meet up and see how it goes.

 

part of the problem with many through online is there problems making choices.  Many economic studies have shown people have problem making choice when there are too many options thry won’t choose on an object to buy.  The same logic applies to dating.

[Lamron300]

20 minutes ago, basil67 said:

 

In your shoes, I would have walked away from this date not wanting to bother with her further.  Thing is, you missed a big red flag:  She talks a lot so she did most of the talking and I listened and asked questions.  Yes, it's good that she's chatty and this is better than being with someone where conversation is like pulling teeth, but it sounds like she didn't ask you anything about yourself.  

 

Thank you for your wise words. Looking back on it (she started the convo on OLD) but she asked very little questions about me. She didn’t flirt online or in person. I can’t say I’m surprised this was the outcome. I have now seen as you say her chattiness isn’t necessarily a good thing as she just talked about herself. I don’t feel she attempted to know me. 
 

These things happen with OLD but how do you gear yourself up for the next thing? To her this was just an outing as she said she likes meeting new people and doesn’t stay at home much or eat out much. I have two businesses and a dog so making time to date is very precious. I know you can’t guarantee anything but I don’t want to waste time. If I saw what you said and considered it earlier I wouldn’t have wasted my time. If she was interested in me she would’ve asked more questions about me. 

[Lamron300]

13 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said:

This happens all the time.

 

some people are stuck thinking they want an instant spark but often love doesn’t work that way.

This is my issue. I don’t agree with an ‘instant spark’. I go on dates to learn more about someone and the setting does matter. We went to a bar for a few drinks. It’s a good ice breaker but I feel people want instant gratification. I’m taking each date as wanting something tangible, other people go on a few dates a week. There’s no right or wrong but that’s why I’m ‘failing’. 
 

My expectations just aren’t realistic with OLD. She strikes me as someone who is very socially active and doesn’t see a date as a big deal, therefore isn’t as invested as I was. So I had already set myself up for failure. As the choice is too much. If I’m honest with myself, why did I ask her out? We had a relatively nice convo online and I wanted to be proactive with my dating life. Is that enough reason? No. Ten people do the same thing as I did and ask her out for same reason and as you say the choice becomes too much. 

[basil67]

50 minutes ago, Lamron300 said:

To her this was just an outing as she said she likes meeting new people and doesn’t stay at home much or eat out much. I have two businesses and a dog so making time to date is very precious. I know you can’t guarantee anything but I don’t want to waste time

During the conversations from before you met, did you ever ask her what she was looking for?   If yes, and she said that she was looking for a relationship with the right person, I'd assume that she was genuine...but it wasn't the right fit for either of you.  But if you didn't ask her, I'd make a point of doing that in future.  

But in all honesty, OLD seems to have a lot of meetups which go nowhere. 

[Ami1uwant]

1 hour ago, Lamron300 said:

This is my issue. I don’t agree with an ‘instant spark’. I go on dates to learn more about someone and the setting does matter. We went to a bar for a few drinks. It’s a good ice breaker but I feel people want instant gratification. I’m taking each date as wanting something tangible, other people go on a few dates a week. There’s no right or wrong but that’s why I’m ‘failing’. 
 

My expectations just aren’t realistic with OLD. She strikes me as someone who is very socially active and doesn’t see a date as a big deal, therefore isn’t as invested as I was. So I had already set myself up for failure. As the choice is too much. If I’m honest with myself, why did I ask her out? We had a relatively nice convo online and I wanted to be proactive with my dating life. Is that enough reason? No. Ten people do the same thing as I did and ask her out for same reason and as you say the choice becomes too much. 

This has been another isssue with OLD.  15 years ago only those serious were in these platforms.  Given the news, success stories, it’s socially acceptable, and it’s easy to use online…you get a lot motpre users who are using it to find the dream catch or someone thry don’t normally meet who might be in a higher economic class.  Most people quickly next people.

 

there has been other stories/ studies done on situations where if two met non online and went through 3-5 dates rthry might have worked out.   Because there are more choices people pass over.

 

another factor is the idea of settling on someone so many pass over 80%-90% matches looking fir those that are near 100%.

 

in economic talk this is maximizer vs satisfyer behavior. In shopping two women go to buy a blouse. Thr first woman sees a blouse she likes but is it the best deal. She passes on it to see what else is in the mall and she looks around. During that time another woman sees that blouse, likes it, and buys it. The first woman comes back and sees it gone.  First woman is thr maximizer who wants to search around. The other is the satisfyer who just wants something satisfying the needs.

[Ami1uwant]

30 minutes ago, basil67 said:

During the conversations from before you met, did you ever ask her what she was looking for?   If yes, and she said that she was looking for a relationship with the right person, I'd assume that she was genuine...but it wasn't the right fit for either of you.  But if you didn't ask her, I'd make a point of doing that in future.  

But in all honesty, OLD seems to have a lot of meetups which go nowhere. 

Therr is nothing to gain in asking pre meeting because they don’t know if you are the right one.

 

sure there are questions to ask how serious they are or how much have they used online dating and how many relationships thry got from it without asking about any details in these

 

grnerally those who seem to just meet peop,e and not get anywhere might be too picky in choosing or next everyone that is not a perfect match

[ccas93]

Could be worse. Sounds like a pretty normal first OL date. with how she was. a couple weeks ago I went on a date with a girl (who messaged me first) and was she seemed very excited about meeting. The date itself went very well I thought - we couldn't take our eyes off each other, the conversation flowed well, we had a lot of things/values in common, we broke the touch barrier, she said she really enjoyed the date and implied we would be seeing each other in the future, and she said she would send me a pic of something we were talking about when she got home. Honestly one of the most fun dates I had been on in some time. 

I texted her when I got home (20 min after the date) saying I had a great time and would love to see her again. she completely ghosted me and never heard from her again. so at least you didn't have that happen.

[BaileyB]

4 hours ago, Lamron300 said:

I am very busy so I have to make time for dating.

Dating is an absolute time suck. Without a doubt, this was my experience with online dating. You talk to someone a few times, meet, and there is no connection. Rinse and repeat. 

There is no way to avoid it other than to be sure that the woman knows what your expectations are up front (ie. looking for a relationship not friends). After that, you just got to put the time in and meet people - there is no other way to date. What’s more, it will not work more often than it works. It’s just the way it goes…

[ZA Dater]

6 hours ago, Lamron300 said:

Hi all,

I hope you’re well!

As some of you may know, my 2.5 year relationship ended about 5 weeks ago. I didn’t think I would start trying to date again soon..but it’s the only thing that really raised me out of my dump. My ex partner manipulated me and cheated on me and the whole relationship was rather unpleasant and unhappy. I’ve had around 4 counselling sessions. 
 

Anyway, I went on a date tonight (just got home). I matched with her on hinge about a week ago. We spoke everyday for a week and finally met today. I felt a good rapport going into the date. I said in my head as long as she’s the same as she is on text we will be okay. 
 

We went to a bar which she picked. We talked all night, no awkward silences. She talks a lot so she did most of the talking and I listened and asked questions. I felt I wanted to see her again, the date was nice. She wasn’t very flirty over text and on the date. I tried a bit. My ‘worry’ is was I ever her type from the beginning. She said she likes going out a lot and meeting new people, which is a good thing but also a red flag to me. This could mean a date is less of a big thing to her as it is just an outing, a day not at home. 
 

Anyway, she messaged me after I said I had fun that she didn’t feel a romantic spark but she had fun and she’s not sure if it would develop into more than friendship. Inadvertently, I feel worse! As my ex cheated I feel she denied me 2.5 years, where I could have met someone compatible but at the same time I forgot about the knock backs you get in dating.

To summarise, I own two businesses, have my own house and my dog. I am very busy so I have to make time for dating. Today I had to work very very short hours to make sure I arrived to the date on time at 7.30pm. I had to give dog shorter evening work etc. Dating is a big deal to me as I have to take a lot of time out, which is okay as you need to put effort. However, how do you get the balance? I only really want to go on a date with someone who really thinks it could work and not see it as an outing where it is unlikely it ever would have worked. I consider myself attractive but for example I’m black, I’m 6’4, I have brown eyes and I’m slim. If my dates usual type is someone with blonde hair and blue eyes and tattoos, I would have been on to a loser from the beginning. I’m just trying to gauge peoples genuine attraction prior to a date. For example I’m quite ‘lonely’ right now but I don’t want to waste my time. I’m just so confused. 

Do not bother with her, move on immediately. You time is better spent either in your business or with someone who feels some sort of spark.  Frankly I had this once and go much the same msg as you did, I'd rather she had cut the dinner short and simply left than waste my time.

Stick to what you want is my advice. You have a full life, a date must compliment that in my opinion .

[ZA Dater]

1 hour ago, BaileyB said:

Dating is an absolute time suck. Without a doubt, this was my experience with online dating. You talk to someone a few times, meet, and there is no connection. Rinse and repeat. 

There is no way to avoid it other than to be sure that the woman knows what your expectations are up front (ie. looking for a relationship not friends). After that, you just got to put the time in and meet people - there is no other way to date. What’s more, it will not work more often than it works. It’s just the way it goes…

Agree with this, frankly OP you need to decide if its actually worth your time to begin with and what the opportunity cost is. Only thing you can really do is meet as quickly as possible with very little texting and then you can ascertain very quickly if you think it may work or not.

Sage advice this.

[glows]

6 hours ago, Lamron300 said:

However, how do you get the balance? I only really want to go on a date with someone who really thinks it could work and not see it as an outing where it is unlikely it ever would have worked. I consider myself attractive but for example I’m black, I’m 6’4, I have brown eyes and I’m slim. If my dates usual type is someone with blonde hair and blue eyes and tattoos, I would have been on to a loser from the beginning. I’m just trying to gauge peoples genuine attraction prior to a date. For example I’m quite ‘lonely’ right now but I don’t want to waste my time. I’m just so confused. 

I wouldn’t spend one week chatting before meeting. You meet first relatively early in a few days and then see whether you want to keep seeing one another. That way you’re finding out right away whether there’s physical attraction. Keep messages brief and to the point. 

Of course others prefer differently and enjoy chatting for a week or two. Many don’t for precisely the reason you’re describing and wasting time or building false pretenses/false attraction when there may be none in person.

The more you start meeting new people the less this will seem like such a big deal. You’re making the first meet up into more than it should be. Your date had the right idea about the first meeting being informal. Keep first meet ups brief too, an hour or so max. This isn’t a relationship so try not to speed past all the other steps in the getting to know you stages.
 

[Lamron300]

4 hours ago, basil67 said:

During the conversations from before you met, did you ever ask her what she was looking for?   If yes, and she said that she was looking for a relationship with the right person, I'd assume that she was genuine...but it wasn't the right fit for either of you.  But if you didn't ask her, I'd make a point of doing that in future.  

But in all honesty, OLD seems to have a lot of meetups which go nowhere. 

On her OLD profile it says she wants a long term relationship so I didn’t feel the need to ask. What I am trying in dating now is just to get to know someone and not to feel intense. 
 

I understand that this is the case with most OLD and what I’m worried about is demoralising myself. As we speak I am getting chased by clients for reports that are late. I know with owning a business I could literally spend 24/7 thinking/doing work so I try and avoid that. I think there is very little I could have said/done yesterday differently. 

[Lamron300]

3 hours ago, ccas93 said:

I texted her when I got home (20 min after the date) saying I had a great time and would love to see her again. she completely ghosted me and never heard from her again. so at least you didn't have that happen.

Sorry to hear that, that’s not a good way to treat someone what she did to you. 

[Lamron300]

11 minutes ago, glows said:

I wouldn’t spend one week chatting before meeting. You meet first relatively early in a few days and then see whether you want to keep seeing one another. That way you’re finding out right away whether there’s physical attraction. Keep messages brief and to the point. 

That’s the problem, logistically it is difficult. Another woman I am speaking to online who expressed interest in a date is on holiday for 1 week (till this Saturday). So I have no choice but to speak longer. Again, we are having a nice pleasant conversation with some light teasing but nothing overly flirty. I actually nearly swiped left on her profile as it seemed so sarcastic but she is actually very genuine and said it’s just a joke. 
 

I don’t live in London anymore (live 25 minutes on train after driving to a station 20 minutes away). Because I work for myself to even go on a date I need to know in advance and arrange my calendar accordingly. The app rarely matches me with people who live close by, which means I have to put in a lot of effort to even arrive at a date. 
 

What I am trying to say is because of work and logistics it is very hard to speak for only a few days then meet. This would be optimum to avoid wasting my time or theirs. 
 

Also, four women have given me their mobile numbers off the app, which I haven’t asked for. What I wanted to avoid this time is filling my contacts with people who ‘could’ve been’ and ending up just having to block people if it doesn’t work out. If people can communicate on the app I am fine with that and then if date goes well we then exchange numbers. 

[Lamron300]

45 minutes ago, ZA Dater said:

Do not bother with her, move on immediately. You time is better spent either in your business or with someone who feels some sort of spark.  Frankly I had this once and go much the same msg as you did, I'd rather she had cut the dinner short and simply left than waste my time.

Stick to what you want is my advice. You have a full life, a date must compliment that in my opinion .

I agree with you but by going dating again I was trying to find more balance in my life. Work can be very consuming as working for myself I’m dealing with clients 24/7. Even through the date people were emailing me about work (obviously I didn’t read the messages at the time). 
 

I joined OLD as I thought I could meet local people easier as I have a very busy lifestyle. I am now reminded of all the negative perceptions. She didn’t ask many questions about me prior to the date or flirt. I was content with nice messages back and forth, which is again the issue as a ‘spark’ was never going to develop. 

[Mrin]

Dude here. Hey man... I've been exactly where you are right now. You need to slow your roll. I get it you are fresh out of a relationship and so rejection in any form hurts like hell. But seriously man, you need to chill the hell out. You make it sound like you're Elon Musk or something with 33.25 minutes available to date per week. You're just a guy. Got a lot going on. But you're just a guy meeting women you barely know that you've met on an online app. 

If they don't move it to a second date - Oh well. It's not like a really got to know you. They met you for like what 2 hours max? Maybe you reminded them of their 5th grade boyfriend you broke their heart. Or maybe they had some bad kimchi at lunch. Who the hell knows. Don't stress about it. Period. Don't view every woman you go out on a date with as remotely consequential. You're just meeting up. Seeing if there's a spark there. If there isn't then that's totally okay.

As Bruce Lee once said, "be like water". I think you will have a much more enjoyable time dating if you do so.

 

Edit: by the way I'm really glad you own your own dog. That would be really weird if you didn't and were just renting it.

 

Edited February 22, 2023 by Mrin

[Lamron300]

12 minutes ago, Mrin said:

 

If they don't move it to a second date - Oh well. It's not like a really got to know you. They met you for like what 2 hours max? Maybe you reminded them of their 5th grade boyfriend you broke their heart. Or maybe they had some bad kimchi at lunch. Who the hell knows. Don't stress about it. Period. Don't view every woman you go out on a date with as remotely consequential. You're just meeting up. Seeing if there's a spark there. If there isn't then that's totally okay.

As Bruce Lee once said, "be like water". I think you will have a much more enjoyable time dating if you do so.

 

Edit: by the way I'm really glad you own your own dog. That would be really weird if you didn't and were just renting it.

 

Hi,

Thank you for your response. I appreciate it. It is a good way of thinking of not every date as consequential, but due to my horrible past relationship I feel so invested in everything.

As we speak, a woman I have been speaking to for around 2 weeks messaged me 'are you ok?'. I like her and she is good to talk to, but she also seems very busy and obsessed with work. She also said to me she doesn't feel confident as she has put on weight in the last year. All her OLD pictures are just face shots. My dilemma is I like her as a person but do I really know her? do you just accept red flags for what they are? I don't want to get invested in people only for disappointment. 

[ZA Dater]

1 hour ago, Lamron300 said:

I agree with you but by going dating again I was trying to find more balance in my life. Work can be very consuming as working for myself I’m dealing with clients 24/7. Even through the date people were emailing me about work (obviously I didn’t read the messages at the time). 
 

I joined OLD as I thought I could meet local people easier as I have a very busy lifestyle. I am now reminded of all the negative perceptions. She didn’t ask many questions about me prior to the date or flirt. I was content with nice messages back and forth, which is again the issue as a ‘spark’ was never going to develop. 

I can relate to this. The fact she did not ask many questions is a big negative, its not worth wasting time on someone who does not show any real interest. Perhaps I should not say this but with OLD I get the impression some people use it as a way to get free meals and whatever else people are prepared to dish out in the hope of wooing the person. You want someone who actually take an interest in you and engages in conversation.

[JTSW]

I would say curb dating for a while because you are not in the right head space yet.

Your break up was  just a few weeks ago.

Continue with your therapy sessions and take time for just you for a while.

Go out with friends and relax.

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, Lamron300 said:

 four women have given me their mobile numbers off the app, 

The good news is you're getting a lot of attention and responses on the app.

However like anything else you'll need an efficient strategy to screen out uninteresting people and make the best use of meeting up for a brief coffee/drink to determine if you want to see them again.

Using apps is all about preventing burnout from too many false starts and timewasters. Some pre-meeting screening is good but meet asap so you can rule them in or out.

[petrolheadno1]

11 hours ago, Lamron300 said:

Hi all,

I hope you’re well!

As some of you may know, my 2.5 year relationship ended about 5 weeks ago. I didn’t think I would start trying to date again soon..but it’s the only thing that really raised me out of my dump. My ex partner manipulated me and cheated on me and the whole relationship was rather unpleasant and unhappy. I’ve had around 4 counselling sessions. 
 

Anyway, I went on a date tonight (just got home). I matched with her on hinge about a week ago. We spoke everyday for a week and finally met today. I felt a good rapport going into the date. I said in my head as long as she’s the same as she is on text we will be okay. 
 

We went to a bar which she picked. We talked all night, no awkward silences. She talks a lot so she did most of the talking and I listened and asked questions. I felt I wanted to see her again, the date was nice. She wasn’t very flirty over text and on the date. I tried a bit. My ‘worry’ is was I ever her type from the beginning. She said she likes going out a lot and meeting new people, which is a good thing but also a red flag to me. This could mean a date is less of a big thing to her as it is just an outing, a day not at home. 
 

Anyway, she messaged me after I said I had fun that she didn’t feel a romantic spark but she had fun and she’s not sure if it would develop into more than friendship. Inadvertently, I feel worse! As my ex cheated I feel she denied me 2.5 years, where I could have met someone compatible but at the same time I forgot about the knock backs you get in dating.

To summarise, I own two businesses, have my own house and my dog. I am very busy so I have to make time for dating. Today I had to work very very short hours to make sure I arrived to the date on time at 7.30pm. I had to give dog shorter evening work etc. Dating is a big deal to me as I have to take a lot of time out, which is okay as you need to put effort. However, how do you get the balance? I only really want to go on a date with someone who really thinks it could work and not see it as an outing where it is unlikely it ever would have worked. I consider myself attractive but for example I’m black, I’m 6’4, I have brown eyes and I’m slim. If my dates usual type is someone with blonde hair and blue eyes and tattoos, I would have been on to a loser from the beginning. I’m just trying to gauge peoples genuine attraction prior to a date. For example I’m quite ‘lonely’ right now but I don’t want to waste my time. I’m just so confused. 

Hi, I would start by making a list of what you like and what you don't like in a woman. so What are your so called deal breakers. 

Also I would recommend carrying out hobbies and things you enjoy, spending time with your friends, having alone me time this is how one maintains balance in their life. Woman want a man who has their things together, are emotionally secure and this is where I made a mistake that where I was basing my happiness on whether I have a girlfriend or not. 

With this woman, best thing is back off for a few days, don't text her give her the gift of missing you and maybe just maybe it make her wonder about you and she may text you. Still don't respond too quickly, show her you have a life and not give her that image that you a guy who constantly sits there on their phone and invite her out again, too dinner and if she accepts maybe try going for a walk in the park or riverside and hold her hand thats when of truth will come. 

Hope this helps brother and remember if this one door closes, another door opens which will be better.

[Lamron300]

3 hours ago, ZA Dater said:

I can relate to this. The fact she did not ask many questions is a big negative, its not worth wasting time on someone who does not show any real interest. Perhaps I should not say this but with OLD I get the impression some people use it as a way to get free meals and whatever else people are prepared to dish out in the hope of wooing the person. You want someone who actually take an interest in you and engages in conversation.

I am trying to learn this and re-evaluate. A woman who I was speaking with on OLD took four days to get back to me. She messaged saying sorry she went home for the weekend and things got crazy. Everyone has a life which is fine, but then her messages aren't really asking me to much about me and the content of our chats aren't flirty. So I have stopped messaging and ignored her last message. I can't expect things to translate differently in real life from OLD. People who are interested will ask questions and respond quicker. 

When I was younger I used to be TOO available. I didn't have responsibilities or cared about my career as much as I do now. I would drop everything to go on a date. Now I am legitimately very busy, I am happy to make time for people, it just takes more planning. People have suggested going on shorter dates, less expensive dates...but every single date I have ever been on has involved either dinner or drinks. That's just what people do.

[Lamron300]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

The good news is you're getting a lot of attention and responses on the app.

However like anything else you'll need an efficient strategy to screen out uninteresting people and make the best use of meeting up for a brief coffee/drink to determine if you want to see them again.

Using apps is all about preventing burnout from too many false starts and timewasters. Some pre-meeting screening is good but meet asap so you can rule them in or out.

Thank you.

For example a lady I am speaking to now, we get on well. She started the convo on OLD as she has a sausage dog and so do I. The date idea started by me joking if I grow an inch will she go on a date with me as her profile jokes that she only likes guys 6ft 5 and over (I'm 6ft 4).  She then said something about her wanting to start a podcast as she has crazy stories to tell. I said I want a preview, she then joked get her 1 drink per story. This is all nice and playful chat, but what I am getting from people on here is you can only know if things will work by meeting someone. Is there enough in the chat for me to actually go on the date? Do we get along? Yes, does she ask questions Yes... does she flirt, no. Does this leave me in a position to go on another 'no spark' date?