Akl82 Posted February 12, 2023 Share Posted February 12, 2023 My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months. He is 25, I am 21. He has gotten more controlling the longer we have been together. He doesn’t want me to hang out or talk to guys which I think is pretty standard so not a big deal. It is things like what I/we are doing, doesn’t really want to spend any time apart if we don’t absolutely have to. It is annoying sometimes and we have gotten into arguments about it, but overall I think it is kind of attractive. The sex is great too. We have other issues like when he is in a bad mood he tends to take it out on me but then will apologize and we are fine. Is this unhealthy even if I don’t really have a problem with it? Is something wrong with me? This is kind of embarrassing and have not talked to anyone about it. Thought I would get some feedback here. Is it weird? It is worrying me. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted February 12, 2023 Share Posted February 12, 2023 5 minutes ago, Akl82 said: He doesn’t want me to hang out or talk to guys. he is in a bad mood he tends to take it out on me Read up on "red flags for controlling relationships" and "warning signs of abusive relationships". Research online and read some books on the subject. It's only 6 mos dating so consider cutting your losses. There may be chemistry and attraction, but there's already arguments. Possessiveness is not a sign of love, it's a sign of treating someone like property, there's nothing "standard" about it. Talk to trusted friends and family about what's going on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BrinnM Posted February 13, 2023 Share Posted February 13, 2023 If he behaves like this after only 6 months, you can imagine how he behaves 6 years from now. It’s not going to get better, and I assure you’re not going to find it attractive or endearing, either. You do now, maybe because it’s still a new relationship, or maybe you’re just insecure and his controlling behavior somehow satisfies your need for validation. Either way, it’s not healthy. He has no business telling you whom you can be friends with, and he certainly shouldn’t take out his anger or his frustration on you, whatever that may look like. Sure, we can all lose our temper occasionally, but a person who routinely takes out their bad mood on others, and then apologizes, rinse repeat, that’s not a self-aware, mature person. And it’s certainly not a caring partner. I recommend you have a serious conversation about this with him. See how he responds, see what his suggestions are on how to change this, and pay close attention to how he reacts in general. Can he reply respectfully? Is he taking your concerns seriously? If not, you should look elsewhere. Not every relationship is worth saving, especially not after only 6 months. Disrespect will only grow over time if you don’t nip it in the bud; it’s like mold. Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted February 13, 2023 Share Posted February 13, 2023 No girl, this is not good at all and will only get worse as more time goes on. It will get to a point that he will want to alienate you from your family and friends. This is already turning into an abusive relationship. They will always be sorry but it will get worse. Don't be sucked in by the great sex and look at the bigger picture. Link to post Share on other sites
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