PotatoHead Posted February 7, 2023 Posted February 7, 2023 It's been about 3 months since she took on the new role which I've been very proud and supportive of. It was a big move up into management at her company with a lot more responsibility. I knew that it would be very stressful at first and I've been understanding that it's occupied her mind quite a bit. I'm just wondering how long should it take before things normalize or before I should have a talk with her about how it's affecting our relationship when she isn't at work? We already did have a sort of talk early on, because she would come home and still be on the phone working all evening. That has gotten better ever since, she tries to put the phone away and only check it a couple of times at night in case of an emergency. What bothers me still is that work seems to be almost the only thing ever on her mind even 3 months in now. It's almost all we talk about, and because all of our conversations start and end with everything she's dealing with at work, I find that there are almost no other topics to bring up or talk about anymore. It has dominated our conversations to where it doesn't feel like we get the chance to connect on all the other levels that we used to. We used to spend lots of time messaging throughout the day, but now she can't seem to find the time to respond or even read the few messages that I still send to her. And yet after work she still finds time to respond to messages from her coworkers. It just feels like our relationship has taken a back seat to anything work related. And I get it, work has to be a priority at times, and I want her to do well. I want to remain supportive but I worry that if this continues it is going to be like a wedge driven between us, and I might start to feel resentful.
Wiseman2 Posted February 7, 2023 Posted February 7, 2023 Unfortunately as a single mother her children, supporting herself, her household and her children will have to be priorities. Try your best to have some romantic alone time or dates. However she does have her priorities in order, just as your children come first, in fact so much so that you've dismissed and delayed her attempts at conversations about moving in together for the sake of your children. 1
Author PotatoHead Posted February 7, 2023 Author Posted February 7, 2023 We do have time alone pretty much every night, and we have the occasional date nights which are fun. She just always seems stressed and has her mind focused on work, so she doesn't have much energy left for other things or is always distracted by it. I'm hopeful it will get better in time. Maybe it is something I will get used to, it's just a big adjustment. I'm currently planning to go all out for valentines day but worried that she won't be able to enjoy it after being stressed out from work.
Wiseman2 Posted February 7, 2023 Posted February 7, 2023 5 minutes ago, PotatoHead said: I'm currently planning to go all out for valentines day but worried that she won't be able to enjoy it after being stressed out from work. That's great. However since it's a work night here's an idea. A simple dinner at home with flowers and card that has the reservations for a great restaurant(or whatever) over the weekend. The job is relatively new so hopefully in time the dust settles.
Author PotatoHead Posted February 7, 2023 Author Posted February 7, 2023 (edited) Yeah we aren't attempting to go out anywhere on valentines. It's kind of a relaxing spa treatment at home for her that I have planned and I'm making a nice dinner. Edited February 7, 2023 by PotatoHead
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