I realize now I Fu**** up!

[Kuzzi]

Have you tried giving him any space? I know how hard it is to give someone that you love space - trust me, but sometimes space is a good thing. You have to give him some time to think about things. Let him miss you and the good times. The one thing you don't want is for him to come back before working on the pain/anger that he has. You want him to come back because he does love you - not because he was guilted into it. I'm going through a break-up as well but a different scenario. It's so hard to give that space....not to text...not to call. Respect what he asks for, and as hard as it is, you have to give it to him. If you 2 get back together before each of you works through your issues, things will go back to the way it was before. You may be pushing him away by trying to force him to come back. Telling the kids that "mommy messed up" isn't necessarily a bad thing but make sure you don't use them as a means of communication between you and your ex. (not saying that you would) Go back to the basics...you already apologized. It's now up to him. Let him come to you....I believe he will.... I'm sending positive vibes your way

[Jellostick]

I started my own thread about my breakup but pretty much "space" is the issue w/ her and I now.

 

Since the breakup I've tried talking to her, I emailed her once, texted and eventually tried to be friendly. Finally, she told me to give her space in the form of not calling her, stopping by her place or going to the bar her and I hang out at.

 

Yes, I tried before but now that she says she wants space, I'm giving her that space. It's hard, it really is 'cause I want to contact her but she seemed so freakin' mad the last time I talked to her that I just don't know what to do except to do nothing. I've gone since this past Saturday morning not talking to her in any way shape or form. She's even contacted me once already to get some information from me but I ignored it because I didn't want to give her a response.

 

It's a difficult thing but I'm trying to be strong and I think you should be too. Then again, I'm not that strong 'cause I was going to send her flowers to either her work or the bar tomorrow but people were telling me how stupid that would be. I'm fighting it, though.

 

Hang in there but if it doesn't work out, please treat the next guy w/ more compassion. I believe I'm a good guy and sometimes the good guys are hard to come by and you never know, the next guy just might be as good if not better than this dude.

 

Cheers.

[Kengne]

HE said "my text is just an explanation.Thats all"

 

AFTER I RESPONDED WITH " Your text had a ring of finality to it.I don't even know how to respond to that."

 

Dang it! I KNEW I should've sat in front of the computer and NOT MOVED!!!

Kengne I blew that one to hell! Sorry. Now what? DO i respond now that I goofed? Or just let it ride? Do as you say and don't respond at all? huh? Huh?? HUH???

 

Can I borrow your brain til this is over? PLEEEAASE?!?!?

 

Lemme ask you a question hun:

 

How much deeper into the grave you have dug yourself, would you like to go?Just tell me now. Two more feet? Twenty more feet? Just tell me how much further and I can help you get there.

 

OR...

 

YOU CAN JUST CALM RIGHT DOWN - and listen to what the good ppl of Loveshack.org are ALL telling you !!!.

 

STOP reacting! STOP IT - RIGHT NOW. Pull yourself together woman!

 

WHAT do you want regrets?

 

You want what you cannot have right now - your ex-bf. Right?

 

If that's so ... don't you see how your actions will only serve to PUSH HIM AWAY further? I mean the txt msg you sent wasn't the END ALL or BE ALL - but if you continue on like this... all these little things will ADD UP and the cumulative effect of you NAGGING & OVERREACTING to him and his comments will be WORSE than any SINGLE txt msg you send!

 

STOP IT.

 

All you need to do now ... like I said before ... is NOTHING.

 

His last txt msg was again - A STATEMENT.

He did NOT ask you a question.

It does NOT require a response.

You need to chill and DO NOTHING.

 

Capiche??

Good.

 

And NO - you cannot borrow my brain. I need it to get into this M.Sc. Physiotherapy program so sorry hun! lol.

 

Take care - and if you do as everyone is saying I think things'll work themselves out for you!

 

Good luck.

 

K.

[Devildog]

BOY OH BOY OH BOY I hope you guys are online right now with a speedy superman answer. He JUST NOW sent me this text:

 

The idea of what the girls lost in all this will always p*ss me off. Not because of what you did,but because of what WE let happen.I don't even want to think of how they will turn out,W/the influences around them.So if I get bothered at least you know why.

 

This is nothing more than a statement. A way for him to vent his anger and frustration. That isn't a bad thing. It is a good thing. If he gets it out he can deal with it. It won't be sitting there bottled up inside anymore. Getting the anger out helps to release that anger, and lessen the anger.

 

As the title of this thread states, you f*ed up. And sorry to say, you probably deserve some of his anger and resentment to be directed at you right now. If he means as much to you as you claim, let him vent, and sit there and take it without getting defensive.

 

The space thing. He is going to get the space one way or another. When you push, he will move that much further away to maintain that space. When you stop pushing, he will stop moving further away from you.

[regrets]

Thank you all for responding. I mean that. Was at work and had a few texts sent back and forth but this one concerned my kids missing him and feeling like they had a 2nd family torn apart. I read what you advised but his last text made me ask myself why am I bothering. Maybe you guys will see it different since you are level-headed looking at this and I'm not.

 

HIM:You kill me. You must be the only one that missed IT. We were a family. Of course they hurt.By ending it with you,I left them.Thats twice in their life.

 

ME:I think I needed that text.

 

No other texts sent or received. "By ending it with you"-does that not sound final to everyone else or am I only hearing what I want to hear and not whats actually being said.

 

Kengne-I know I need to calm down but it's very hard to do. My head KNOWS what it NEEDS to do-my heart just does what it WANTS to. Stupid heart....

 

I was lookin back on my texts-how much more can I apologize and plead and beg and grovel and cry my case? There REALLY isn't much more I can do or say is there. So I won't.

I am gonna do my damnedest to do-NOTHING. Just like you have suggested.

 

And devildog I will do as you suggest and let him vent til hopefully there isn't anything left to spew. And try not to get all defensive about it. That's gonna be a hard one!

I look at it this way and I wonder.If he has no intention of giving us a 2nd chance-then why doesn't he just leave me alone? If he's moved on-why send me texts? Why tell me you want to meet so we can talk? Why ask why?!

 

So I will not initiate any contact first. No sending off a good morning text unless he sends one first. I think you kinda nailed it with him trying to get a reaction out of me but I would love to know why?

I will do my best to just leave it alone and let him sort out and clear his head. I will give him all the space he can handle-even though I DON'T WANT TO! I will do my best to not nag or overreact. I will look both ways before crossing the street. (Sorry:o )

Again-he'll either come back to me or he won't. Thank you for the advise and trying to help me out. Gonna call it a night-but i will update tomorrow morning with the latest. If there is anything to update.

 

Take care everyone.

[Devildog]

I look at it this way and I wonder.If he has no intention of giving us a 2nd chance-then why doesn't he just leave me alone? If he's moved on-why send me texts? Why tell me you want to meet so we can talk? Why ask why?!

 

Human nature I guess. I don't really know why we do this. I think it has something to do with wanting the other person to understand what they did wrong. Maybe he just wants to finally be appreciated for what he did for you?

 

But I think we need things like that if we are to learn and grow. Even if things don't work out for you with a second chance, will you be so quick to take for granted a guy who treats you like that in the future?

 

BTW, I am on the other side of the fence from you. I was that great guy who did so much that was never appreciated or acknowledged by my XW. Only difference is she left, not me. Granted, I wouldn't take her back in a million lifetimes at this point. But after having gone through that, I now know how to truly treasure someone who sees those qualities in me that my XW took for granted and never appreciated.

[regrets]

After a brief exchange this morning this was his last text. I would almost swear this man reads this forum because he said what all of you have advised me again and AGAIN to do! Go figure. Tell me what you think.

 

HIM:I keep reading "you'll give me time" but you don't,why? If you would rather not even text me let me know. We're not seeing eachother ,but I'm not trying to push you further away either.If there is ever gonna be US again,stop pushing,stop assuming. :eek:

 

Tell me that's not a kick in the ass! I actually started laughing at this AFTER i picked my mouth up from the floor! Me assume?! Noooo! Wanna know what I assumed? That he's been here reading all of this or this man is truly smarter than I thought and has more common sense coming out the wahzoo than I gave him credit for!!

 

So i'm told to sit and wait for him to decide IF I get another chance while he continues on with this new chick. And has a life. And I wallow in self-pity. And whine and bitch and moan and groan and vent and gripe and meow to ALL OF YOU!!!

Aren't you the lucky bunch that got the short end of the stick on that deal!

 

Devildog-I'm sorry you had to go thru that. Thru your pain and hurt you have come away an even better person it seems like. It's kinda embarassing that you are trying to give advise and comfort to me when basically I AM your XW.

So thank you-I mean that. I hope when you do find someone she does in fact realize what a good man you are and appreciates and loves you for you,and nothing else.

 

Jellostick-I'm feeling your pain! Lesson learned-trust me. I will never do this again to anyone! If I could ever find someone that treats me HALF as good as he did I will consider myself blessed. Big time. I hope your situation gets better-for YOU.

 

Kuzzi- Have I tried giving him space? No. Hows that for an honest answer. The only thing in space is my head! But thank you for the positive vibes you're sending! Keep shooting them my way sweetie!

 

Kengne-Thank you for keeping it real! I value your opinions and advise more than you know.Believe me. Keep talking/yelling/bitching/listening to me-I NEED IT!

* But do you have to be so selfish with your brain?!?! And for an education no less!!! The nerve!

[Kengne]

regrets

 

No problem hun. If you won't listen to US - please, listen to HIM.

 

I just wanted to add a last comment - in ur post before u said something abt "ending it with you" having a ring of finality to it? It DOES - because your rel'ship is OVER. To me it doesn't sound like you've fully accepted the rel'ship - FOR NOW - is over. It's one thing to have hopes of reconciliation - that's normal.

 

It's a TOTALLY DIFFERENT thing to NOT accept the end of a rel'ship - that's denial. You are still in denial.

 

And until u ACCEPT the fact the rel'ship is over you will find it extrememly hard to give him the space he is asking for - as you are trying to hold on to what was. You keep talking about what a wonderful man he is etc... That's great, and I'm glad for you - BUT at the same time reminiscing and idolizing the rel'ship is going to make it even harder for you to let go - AND MOVE ON.

 

You have to let go of your rel'ship - close the door to reconciliation, FOR NOW - if you are ever to reconcile again in the future. Once you've accepted this in your HEART and MIND - it will be SOOOOOOOO easy to give him the space he's asking for. WHY? Because you won't be thinking YOU and what YOU want i.e. to get back together. You'll be thinking of HIM and what HE needs now - SPACE.

 

Granted you will still miss him - but it'll be like a dull ache as opposed to a sharp stabbing pain. Truss me - I've been thru 2 breakups this year already and the pain DOES lessen as soon as you ACCEPT the fact that the rel'ship is over. You will struggle with the concept at first (How? What? Me and X will never be together?) - but if you LET GO of the outcome/future... and focus on the things you CAN control... it'll be that much easier.

 

Why worry about what he's doing with that new girl? Can u control it? NO. So if u can't control it - ignore it!

 

Same thing applies to you guys getting back together. You can't control it - so ignore it. Let go, and let God.

 

Take care hun!

 

K.

[regrets]

Kengne-

I KNOW you are right on every point you hit. Check this out.

You had said that you didn't think it was a good idea to keep contact because of the girls. I agreed. And I decided to address this with him because the kids miss him and my eldest daughter called his eldest to say hello.

I said to him that I asked mine to NOT call his anymore so this wouldn't be more confusing or difficult for them. He said that was a dumb idea. I asked why and again gave my reason. What's dumb? He said---

 

HIM:If you make the kids stop talking because we're not a couple.What message does that send them-what if things change?

 

ME: I don't even know how to respond to that text.

 

Nothing was sent from either side since.

 

WTF was THAT about?! Did I teach this man how to mindf**k and now HE'S doing it to ME?!

 

If that is what it is this is beyond harsh--not only is it a dry run-I didn't even get a courtesy spit!!!

[Jellostick]

I don't think it's wrong to have your kids contact him or his kids if that's what they want to do. If you're telling them to call so that he is reminded that you're still there then yes, that's wrong but if your kids are doing it on their own then there's nothing wrong w/ that.

 

Like in my situation, if I wanted to I can go to her friends and ask them to give her a message or tell her breaking up w/ me is wrong but you know who would be wrong? Me.

 

Now, if her friends did it on their own and talked about me then that's on them and they'd probably tell her that I had nothing to do w/ it.

 

Kids are awesome 'cause they're truthful and notice things that we might not think they notice. I'm hoping your not but definitely don't use your kids to get to him 'cause they have nothing to do w/ it. And don't stop letting your kids contact them if they want to because you'll only make them unhappy.

 

I hope I made some sense.

 

Cheers.

[regrets]

Jellostick-Thank you for responding.

 

Using my girls to my advantage in this situation is something I would NEVER do!!

My reasons for severing the contact on the childrens end is only because my girls are not handling this so great either. They miss him and his kids terribly. So with that comes the questions about the relationship(whats going on-will we be together-how come we don't see them etc).

It's something I can't deal with right now myself.I want this to be as painfree as possible for them. But again this is how I SEE it. Im sure others will either agree or disagree.

I could very well be wrong on this matter and for all I know,I'll come to find out I did this because of my OWN feelings-not whats best for them and THEIR feelings. Know what I mean?

 

As for me and him-there is no new update yet. After he told me that things could change and I told him I didn't know how to respond to that-it was a very quiet night.

No good night texts or anything. But it is still very early yet-so we'll see if HE sends anything. I will NOT contact him first. He said he wants time and space-he's got it. It's killing me but I'll do it.

 

Take care everyone.

[regrets]

Good morning everyone!

 

Just needed to meow and vent a little bit. This is the start of day 2 with NC and I REALLY DONT LIKE IT!!! Nope-not one bit!

But first I would like to thank everyone that has responded with opinions,suggestions and words of encouragement and comfort. It is so greatly appreciated! I mean that.

 

I hate this feeling and im trying to keep my mind busy but it is definitely not an easy thing to do.

I wonder what he is doing.If he is happier with the new chick. If he is happier WITHOUT me.If he thinks about me at all and if he misses me.

 

This sucks...a real big one!

 

Take care.

[regrets]

SONUVABITCH!!!!!

 

Guess who just sent me a text?!?!? Thats right. HIM....

 

Says he can probably meet for lunch this week if I want to.

 

What do I do? What do i do?! WHAT DO I DO?!?!

 

Amazing- one text and my stomach cramped up!

 

Opinions and suggestions please!!!!

 

Pretty PLEASE!!!

[a4a]

I have been lurking in on this one.

 

Meet him for lunch. Keep your desparate begging in check at all times.

You need to figure out why you took him for granted and certainly don't restart this relationship before being sure you can really handle it and that he is able to forgive you and learn to trust.

 

The last thing you need to do is bring him back into your life and then have him leave or you trash him again. I say this not for his or your benefit, but for your kids.

 

You are allowed to have feelings but you need to think before you react to the feelings........ your insecure feelings and the need to know he wants you is no excuse to push him away as a test for him to prove his need and desire for you. Sit on that feeling! Keep your mouth shut...... think before you open your mouth.

 

He may be contacting you for closure?

 

Regardless use this to learn and not make the same mistake in your life again with all people in your life.

 

a4a - been here done that.

[mazza32cott]

Of course... Meet him for lunch. You want him so don't say no. What I don't understand is you mentioned in one text don't bring her? Who is her?

[regrets]

hello hello hello-

 

a4a-I was about to argue your desperate begging comment and then stopped....yup thats EXACTLY what i did. Thats exactly what you'd call it.

I couldn't tell you why I took this man for granted either. Just plain stupidity on my part. That's for sure. And believe me-LESSON LEARNED!!!

 

I know I need to keep my fool mouth shut and think before I speak. Easier said than done-I'm one big huge EMOTIONAL WRECK right now!

 

And I didn't even think about this as closure! You could very well be right.

But believe it or not-I would rather have the closure instead of the waiting and worrying. Tell me it's done and over and you want nothing more to do with me-that way I know to stop trying!

 

Mazza-'her' is the new woman he's seeing. don't know how serious it is or what the deal is.

 

What I want to know is why we are having lunch. Does she know he's gonna meet with me? Is this his payback? I know...I'm rambling.

 

I'm gonna send him a text now and tell him I will meet him for lunch. I'll let you know what he says.

[NatoPMT]

Hi Regrets

 

I feel for you, I have been in your position and I know how ridiculous it is, how ironic and how frustrating. I want to advise you that the less you focus on doing what you say have done – ie change the more this is an opportunity missed. You now realise how you treated him, how badly you behaved. Its evident that you realise that you didn’t do the right thing and I have to say, you really react well to what LS’ers are telling you, although I don’t think you are genuinely following what they are saying as your desperation to win him back is governing your actions.

 

The key here is not that you realise how much you now love him, but how this is an opportunity to really change that bad behaviour to make firstly yourself happy, and then the next person you are with happy. I would do some serious googling on relationships, selfishness, happiness expectations, and PROVE you are starting to understand what makes a human being a worthy person to give yourself to. You recognise you have done wrong, so action that recognition, and focus on being his friend & supporting him – he is devastated too you know. Show him you can be there for him while you both heal, and actively seek a way to mend yourself and your flaws as you heal. Then maybe you can find a middle ground to meet again on these new terms, with the past where it belongs, in the past. People shouldn’t give broken relationships a 2nd chance unless what caused the split has changed, he only has your word its changed, but by offering your word you are proving its still the same.

 

I personally found that a ‘revelation’ like yours is short lived, unless you do real work in changing your thinking for good, then as soon as you feel secure again, you are likely to revert to type – the way you behaved to drive him away in the first place. I assume you havent ground those revelations into place with action, counselling, studying yourself, motives etc. Unless you want to go back to that old you, use this time to ingrain a better you.

 

I did all this 2 years ago, and I still have to come here to remind myself how to behave, I still have to check myself to not become a banshee sometimes, but I don’t be the person I left behind as I don’t allow myself to go there.

 

Good luck!

[regrets]

Hey everybody! Hope everyone is doing well.

 

Met up for a coffee with him today and thought I would give you the scoop as to what happened if you're interested.

 

He could tell I was very nervous and kept tying to calm me down. We sat outside and he started with the small talk. Asking about my jobs,the girls,how much weight I lost and just how I was doing.

 

Told him I was very nervous and anxious about this meeting because I didn't know what to expect.

 

Some points-

* Said I was reading more into the new relationship he's in then what was really there. His friends asked him what he thought of her and he said she is a nice girl but she's not "me".

*Said nothing right now in his life is concrete.He is more confused now than ever.

*Does not want me out of his life.

*Wants me to fix "me" first and be the person I used to be. Says I need to start living again outside of him.

*Says if there is ever gonna be US again we need to start being friends.

*Said if we get together he wants a completely new slate to start off on with all problems and issues met head-on, dealt with,resolved and settled.

*Said he is terrified to get back with me right now because he gave up so much of himself in the process that if we got back together and it was the same crap-he would end up hating me and he DOES NOT want that!

*Said he still loves me so much. And he misses me.

* Wants me to call him whenever and text him and not lose contact at all.

*He even said actions speak louder than words. Let's start slow and see what happens.

 

We left hugging and kissing and he said he goes out of town tomorrow-he would like to see me in the morning before he goes to the airport.

 

So for right now that's it. Still trying to figure what actually happened today. Feel a bit better but that doesn't really matter-or does it?

Even more nervous about going to the house to see him tomorrow. Have it in my head to NOT be a booty-call:p -even though it's been a looong time and i'm feeling frisky.

 

I miss him so much and I love him even more. It was wonderful to see him and clear the air on some things. BUT-I'm still trying to keep my head on straight.

 

And I did not beg and grovel and plead for a 2nd chance.I PROMISED I wouldn't and I was a good girl! I swear.

I read the posts again before I left!

 

So any opinions and advice about today and what I should/shouldn't do tomorrow?

 

Take care.

[Devildog]

Sounds like there is a great deal of hope there. But if things work it is up to you. What he has told you fits with most advice you will see here. You need to get yourself fixed. He is absolutely right about you needing to live outside of him. Do you have any idea how much pressure it is for a person when they feel responsible for someone else's happiness? So get into your own interests. Find some of your own happiness. Join a club that interests you. That is one of the most common problems in relationships going bad. People lose their individuality. It doesn't need to be that way. Allow him to still partake in his hobbies outside of the relationship and you do the same.

 

It might not be a bad idea to look into counseling. It's easy to say you will change things about yourself, but to truly change isn't so easy. Sometimes it takes some outside help.

[mazza32cott]

Mmm it's a difficult one. What about the other woman. My ex too said that the other woman didn't mean much and he is still with her 2 and a half weeks later.... I'm not trying to make things sound worse but just be prepared. How are you going to feel if he keeps seeing the other woman. Is it worth the pain this is going to make you go through?

 

Maybe you should start going out and doing a few things for yourself.

 

Maz

[NatoPMT]

Hi Regrets

 

That really does sound positive, but i am confused as to why he is seeing this other woman. If he is confused, hurt etc he should be healing himself as much as you are. And if you were seeing someone that was 'nice but not him' we'd be yelping and jumping all over you for that. I wonder if this other girl realises exactly how disposable she is. Hes potentially going to hurt her. Or you, either way someone is up for the chop.

 

Are you sure he really is that great and that your grief isnt blinding you? I know you love him and what to change yourself, and thats valuable stuff, and i know everyone does out of character things when they are as hurt as he has been, I just want to make sure what hes doing IS out of character.

 

BB

[Devildog]

BB, when I was going through the same thing that regrets' xbf is, I know the need to feel appreciated was really strong. If I hadn't have been in counseling and been warned about jumping into a new relationship I too would have been likely to jump to another relationship in short order. When you are on the side that has given everything you got, and tried to be that great guy, and it goes unappreciated, it sucks. You end up feeling like the defective one. And the quick fix is to find someone new that will appreciate you.

[NatoPMT]

I do understand that Devil, hence i wanted to check it IS out of character. The reason i asked is because its something my ex did too, and i wasnt too far removed from how Regrets is feeling. The only difference is that after a few months i started to realise Id been mentally abused and my ex, although hed suffered as much as I had, was truly not the one for me and he needed to do a lot of work on himself too. I was totally blind to what hed done to me - my first few posts on here sound v similar to Regrets but then i got things in perspective. We were as bad as each other and i just wanted to make sure shes not chasing after something that would be best left alone.

 

BB

[mazza32cott]

Well here's a beauty, I am so f***ng angry coz I just found this out. My ex left me because I said I didn't want to live together straight away, you see he came back from over east and stayed with me for a while. I told him I loved him and still wanted to see him everynight and that it was only a temporary measure so we could work on our relationship slowly.

 

He told me all along how much he loved me, was so happy to be with me. He moved out Friday day and was with someone else Friday night. He says he just needs space but it's not over.... I have been soooooo sad.

 

Today the phone bill came and guess what? He has been calling firls out of the paper for at least 2 and a half months and I haven't seen the other bills yet. So is he full of it or what and guess what I believed him.

 

He WILL contact me again and I WILL see him again just so I can tell him to his face what a w***r he really is.....

 

I'm over it.

 

Maz

[regrets]

Good morning!

 

Mazza-Big Belm--I understand where you're coming from on this. And I don't have an answer....

 

How should I deal with this when I see him today? What should I ask him?

I'm trying to heed his advice on making this work. If it even happens-there's always that possibility it doesn't and i have to realize that.

 

As for the new girl-I have no choice but to take what he says at face value. I KNOW he is on the road all the time so their time together will mostly be on the phone. He came back into town Monday night and he leaves today at noon. He was talking with me a bit last night.Don't know where he was or if he was in fact with her. Plus he asked to see me today before he heads out.

 

And no-I'm not looking at this blindly or with my hopes sky high-I know this might end up blowing up in my face. So what should I do?

 

BB-You might be right. Maybe I am chasing after something that should be left alone. I do love this man very much and I am hurt that he started another relationship soon after breaking ours off.

I think Devildog kinda nailed it with the feeling of being unappreciated and looking for someone that will fulfill what I took away.I'm thinking this new woman is that 'quick fix'. And no-it's not fair to her. I know that.

I don't know what's gonna happen to either one of us. Maybe he will feel the aggravation and heartache I gave just isn't worth it and this woman is.She has a clean slate.No problems,no worries,no drama--nothing. I realize that too.

 

 

I don't doubt his honesty at all. This man has been very open about his feelings, his thoughts,whats been going on in his life and answered any questions I had about his new relationship.

He has always been like that from the time I met him. I should've just listened and learned. I think I would've turned out to be a better person in the long run if I followed suit.

 

He suggested we take things slow.He said for us to start a new friendship and if we jumped right back into a relationship right now-we would have the same problems,only escalated, and this would not be salvageable at all at that point. And he's right.

 

I still need a lot of fixing up on my end. I've been trying to read everyones thought on this and it was suggested to me by many of you to find out WHY I did what I did. And THAT is what I need to remedy. I really just don't know WHY!! The only thing that pops up in my head over and over is-stupidity.

 

I'm very nervous about seeing him again today. I'd appreciate your advice on this as well.

 

Thank you for replying. I really need all of you right now. Whether it's positive or negative I NEED to see both sides so I can sorta prepare myself for however this turns out.

 

take care.