Dating as a Little Person - Anxiety

[DevilJ]

Hi everyone, first time posting here. Not sure what kind of responses I’m looking for, but I just wanted to vent my anxieties. 
 

I’m a 29yo single male with dwarfism (similar to Peter Dinklage). I’m about 4’7, but relatively healthy and in good shape. 
 

Lately my anxiety has been kicking my ass. A lot of my friends have been getting engaged and getting into relationships while I have stayed single basically my whole life. I didn’t mind being single for a long time, but lately I’ve been feeling pressured to find a partner. The thing is that I havent got the balls to try to go out and meet people as I’m pretty introverted. I’ve tried dating apps a few years ago and I’ve gone on a few dates, but none of them really turned to anything substantial. 
 

With my introverted personality and being so short, it’s obvious I’m at a disadvantage in the dating world. I’ve accepted that and I’m not looking for pity, but when I’m at work, alone in my office, my anxiety will get the best of me and I start feeling shitty about being single. I’m trying to be comfortable and happy with the fact that I’m single, but I wouldn’t mind finding someone special. I want to maybe try dating apps again, but my anxiety is holding me back. 
 

If anyone is in a similar boat as me, or if you have any advice, I’d love to hear it. 
 

Thanks!

[mortensorchid]

I cannot help with this because I am at the opposite end of the spectrum - I am a woman and I am 5'10" so I am even with and/or bigger than a lot of men.  I have been with men who have been shorter than me in the past, if that makes you feel somewhat better.  Not as short as you, of course, but shorter than me.

Is there some kind of group you can join that you can find specific help for this?  Or a therapist?  I would say check online but some of those groups are just MeetUps or the like.  

[poppyfields]

Hello @DevilJand welcome.

I would start with dating apps, there's an app for everything now, every type of disability, including dwarfism. (EDIT: I don't know whether dwarfism is a disability or not but there are apps for it.)

Google is your friend, I just did a quick search myself on your behalf and found what's linked below. .  

Or you could try meet ups, I read about a tallish woman falling in love with a man around your height, it happens! 

Good luck!  

https://www.dwarflove.com/

Edited January 28, 2023 by poppyfields

[Lotsgoingon]

There have got to be some specific online forums with great dating advice for little people.

Sounds like you could benefit from therapy with someone very familiar with (or is) little people. Hey first step is to drop that language "I haven't got the balls." That's nonsense. Having fear about dating and approaching people is no  test of a person's level of courage. Sorry, it ain't. 

[ShyViolet]

Just get on the dating apps and be very up-front about yourself and your dwarfism.  There's someone for everyone and people with dwarfism have relationships and date!  You just have to put yourself out there on the apps..... you have nothing to lose.

[Ami1uwant]

Have you had any sort of prior relationship experience?

[glows]

Kindly, this sounds more like social anxiety than being introverted. The two are often confused or intertwined. It’s natural to feel anxious trying new things. Do make an effort anyway and do/try new experiences, meet new people. If jumping into a dating app seems over the top or not something you’re interested in, check out local hobby and interest groups in your area. 

I don’t know about you but I’d want to connect immediately with others with dwarfism in the community and see their successes, learn from their failures and change the outlook that may be holding you back about dwarfism. I’d want to see it as a personal trait and part of my identity rather than an imperfection. 

Edited January 29, 2023 by glows