He prioritise his female friends over me

[keirax3]

I was seeing someone for almost a month n we met up about 5 times and I thought he was really sweet n matured, he was 38 and I was 25. He told me he was a relationship guy. Until something happened, we were supposed to meetup over fri/next weekend but he cancelled cause he wanted to catch up with his friends that he haven’t met for a long time n I was fine with that. Fri night came n I was drinking with my friends and he texted me at 1am plus telling me to meet him n his friends at a party event so I went to find him n he was with two female friends, I felt a little bit threatened but I did greeted them n wasn’t particularly interested in mingling with them and was focusing on my date, we left the place after like 5 mins and the two girls left to another club in a cab without us and my date told me his friends think I was being [ ]  to them which got me baffled cause we only seen each other for less than 10mins and they straight up judge me for being unfriendly:/ n he straight up sided with them when I ask for his humble opinion n his reasoning was he knew them for 5 years . N I did question him why did he ask me to meet him so late at night and not during the start to meet his friends n he told me I was being dramatic for putting this on him when I express my concern that am I being too convenient and like a back burner for his plans n he tell me to go home .N he said he will prioritize meeting his friends over me just because he knew them a lot longer n he knew me only for a month. It completely crash me and it was a weird confusing space n I didn’t know what to do, I ended up wanting to end connection with him and so I did by sending him a long text message next day and saying we are better off as friends, and he unfollowed me and removed me as follower on Instagram. And when I asked him why did he do that, he said I am a great person really no tension, I only followed people that I knew on Instagram

Edited January 26, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language

[glows]

I don’t think you lost anything here. He doesn’t sound mature or sweet. More like the furthest thing from it if you’ve told us the whole story. 

The one thing I’d change about the way you handled it was respond with an alternative time and day to meet instead of agreeing to meet a man you’ve only known one month and seen a handful of times at 1 am at some club. 

I’m also guessing there was considerable alcohol involved by that time. Not a great set up.

 

[Ami1uwant]

1am is a drunk booty call.  This likely was a drunk text probably to prove your existence.

 

did youatbleadt wait till he was sober to talk…not text…talk.

[poppyfields]

27 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said:

1am is a drunk booty call.  This likely was a drunk text probably to prove your existence.

did youatbleadt wait till he was sober to talk…not text…talk.

?? 

Did you mean "at least wait"?  lol

In any event, I agree with your post. 

[BaileyB]

2 hours ago, keirax3 said:

he said he will prioritize meeting his friends over me just because he knew them a lot longer n he knew me only for a month.

Sounds pretty reasonable, yes.

Don’t get me wrong, if you have plans it’s not cool for him to cancel. But after a month, you are lower on the priority list than his friends. At one am, you are a booty call - yes. 

2 hours ago, keirax3 said:

unfollowed me and removed me as follower on Instagram. And when I asked him why did he do that, he said I am a great person really no tension, I only followed people that I knew on Instagram

You basically gave him the shove off… So, he did the same to you. 

Edited January 25, 2023 by BaileyB

[Alpacalia]

In the future, be wary of accepting last-minute invitations to go on late-night dates and veering into an uncomfortable situation and then becoming upset at the outcome.

The ability to be mature means being able to discern potentially awkward and low-bar invitations. It also means that you try to be open to people who you have just met and kind to them, especially to the friends of someone you are dating.

This situation was handled poorly by both of you.

[JTSW]

Were you acting unfriendly towards his friends because they were women?

Were they friendly to you?

Seems like to totally misread a situation and handled it poorly.

He in turn reacted poorly to that.

[Wiseman2]

15 hours ago, keirax3 said:

I was seeing someone for almost a month n we met up about 5 times  I did by sending him a long text message next day and saying we are better off as friends, 

You did the right thing ending it. Don't try to stay friends. This is an inordinate amount of drama for 5 dates and less than 30 days of dating. You're not compatible. Close the chapter and move forward.

[stillafool]

He treated you like a booty call by contacting you that late and then you rushing to meet him.  Then he showed you how unimportant you were to him by choosing the other women over you.  If I were you I wouldn't have even bothered to send him a text explaining Jack, he never would've heard from me again.

[ironpony]

It sounds like you acted reasonably OP, and perhaps the guy is just not emotionally available.