maryellen Posted January 24, 2023 Posted January 24, 2023 I have a wonderful boyfriend of many years and a wonderful son whos 26 and has a 2 year old baby and a wife. My son was raised since the age of 5 with his dad on the other side of the country and the last few years he has been in the navy so he has now move d only about three hours from me. every other weekend I drive up to babysit my grandbaby while they are working. we have taken time off for holidays so they havn't needed me for a month or two. My boyfriends company party is this weekend and i have been promising to go for weeks now. The problem is, last night my son asked me to come up this weekend (spur of the moment) and watch grandbaby and I said yes of course , I would love to. The next morning I remembered the party I was supposed to go to with my boyfriend. I have been doing everything possible to be there for my son and make up for the time we lost when he was young. I want him to know he can always count on me now because in his younger years i was not a great mom. I'm not sure what to do ? My boyfriend will be hurt if I don't make his party and I will be letting son down if I do.
glows Posted January 24, 2023 Posted January 24, 2023 I’d be honest with your son about the misunderstanding and make plans for the following weekend or another weekend. Surely he isn’t so unkind and have such unrealistic expectations to assume you’re never ever going to make a small mistake like this or hold this against you? Apologize also for the mix up as you had mistaken the day which coincides with the function with your partner. A mature adult isn’t going to hold this over your head or manipulate you into feeling bad over a small mistake. I understand you feel guilt over the past but try not to let that control and dictate your present and future.
Author maryellen Posted January 24, 2023 Author Posted January 24, 2023 Thankyou so much for your response. It really did ease my mind and make me feel better about things
Lotsgoingon Posted January 24, 2023 Posted January 24, 2023 Yes, call your son back and tell him you messed up your scheduling. Emphasize that the party is a long planned event. You don't necessarily owe him the specifics, just that you had promised to go with your bf somewhere. Trust me: your mom-son love can survive this. If it can't then there's a major problem. Instead of over-apologizing, I say go positive and say you really enjoy seeing the son and appreciate the time you've had and look forward to more time in the future.
Author maryellen Posted January 24, 2023 Author Posted January 24, 2023 THANK YOU FOR THE GREAT ADVICE!
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