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Rebounds..


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Posted

Well..

 

1. You could lie to her, and then not be on that train.

2. Since it's her last day on the train... flat out tell her you don't want to travel with her, but don't actively avoid her.

3. Tell her the only way you'll ride the train back with her, is if she admits she likes you.

4. Bribe a cute co-worker into riding the train back with you and pretend it's your new gf.

5. Tell her she's being crazy, and why, and that you don't understand.

 

I'm going for number 5, but I'm tired, and not thinking clearly. Think I'm gonna hit the rack. I think shock her with the flat out truth. And see what she says. Either she'll agree, and back off. She'll probably try to talk her way outta it. Saying she just wants to keep you as a friend, etc. So you say, "I feel like you've been taking my generosity for granted." If she insists she's not, then adios. maybe she'll see she has been. or maybe she'll finally admit she's just crazy, and she doesn't really work in the city, but goes to teh mental ward every day.....

 

I'm too tired. sorry Clobsie. Where's LIshy??? Dang her and her nite excursions. Doesn't she know she has work to do? Goofin' on the job. geez.

 

She's probably fraternizing with the enemy again. :rolleyes:

 

Good luck. Think that's the best I can tell you right now. My org behavior instructor say's create a sheet listing all alternatives to your problem Oh, first define the problem. Then list the alternatives. Then evaluate each. Then choose one. I actually found this works exceedingly well for relationship and personal problems. Clarifies the situation in your mind, and helps logically sift through the different aspects of it, to get to the best solution for you.

Good luck Clobsie.

  • Author
Posted

ha ha.. thankx for replying even when u r so tired Walk. i sure appreciate that :)

 

i didn't reply to her text about when i am planning to take the train.. and i am not planning to see her or respond to her... its all going to be over with tomorrow..

 

*sigh* what a relief :rolleyes:

 

u r really tired... go sleep honey! i am going to sleep too... i saw ur picture today, so i am sure i am going to be dreaming about u :)

Posted

if your goin to be on the rebound, go find some1 who is also on the rebound it kinda does make things a tad bit easier

Posted
Dang Lishy, you're a tall drink of water. :)

I got a question though.. What would be the perfect height for the man of your dreams? Close to your heighth? Or a lot taller?

 

 

Dark brown. I didn't get outside much this year. Gets darker every year. What's up with that...?

 

Lishy: Congrat's again! You rock!

 

 

I could not date a guy shorter than me!!!!! I would feel like an amazon hahahha SO he HAS to be taller by at least 2 inches or he has to wear heels hahahah

Posted

yeah i dont want anyone shorter, i want a big strong beast haha jk

  • Author
Posted

Walk and Lishy,

 

here is the grand finale about this crazy woman...

 

after i conveyed my feelings and she refused to go out with me on tuesday we had a conversation on wednesday ... she told me we can continue as friends. i told her very clearly that i see her as more than friends now so i need some time to quell those feelings.. and once the feelings die down i can get back with her as friends.. i told her "i don't want to hang-out with u now pretending to be ur friend, i wud rather take some time, erase all those feelings and then get back to u as friends".

 

after wednesday she approcahed me again and i had to send her away b'cos i needed some space and time.. i avoided her couple more times ... so she sends me an email today and says why i am avoiding her via text messages... we met and had a conversation.. she told me that i betrayed her by refusing to be her friend after she refused to date me... i told her i never said that and i only need some time... she kept telling me that by avoiding her now i was conveying the message that i don't want to be friends any more... i again emphasized that i am only taking some time before i can get back to her as friends.. she talked about another guy that had a crush on her but continued to be her friend after she refused to date him.. i said i am not a robot to switch on and switch off my feelings just like that... all i need is some time..

 

guess what she did? she said, u betrayed me.. u r not a friend.. i can't be friends with u anymore!! i cudn't help it, it was her decision and i said fine...

 

so that's it... she is not even going to be my friend anymore... is it so wrong for a guy to request some time to manage his feelings before getting back as friends????

 

urrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... i am breaking, i am breakingggggggggggggg... arrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhh

Posted

You are NOT breaking baby!!!!!!!!!

 

Now pull yourself together (I sound like my mum lol)

 

She is a crazy fool for letting you go and she will know that one day. Let her go Clobsie you can do so much better!!!!!!!

 

She seems like she has issues she needs to deal with honey

 

You did everything RIGHT and you have the right to request time to get over her before you could be her friend - She should respect that!!!!!!

  • Author
Posted
She is a crazy fool for letting you go and she will know that one day.

 

she won't realize it one day Lishy.. i think she realized it in one hour..

 

just take a look at this email that i got from her... less than an hour after she told that i betrayed her and threw away our friendship:

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

:(

 

I feel like our talk was rushed as you had a meeting at 12.

I felt like I was pushed to make a decision about our friendship when I wasnt ready to.

 

I still want to be friends and need your help tomorrow.

Write me back ASAP.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

i did have a meeting at 12. we met at 11:30 and talked and around 11:45 she said that i betrayed her and that she can't be a friend anymore.. the "need your help tomorrow" is about helping her pack her stuff as she is moving to the city. i had promised to help her around a month back, when we were in good terms.. she talked about that today morning and i said that i am still hurting and need time and how can she expect me to come to her house and move stuff? after that we had the argument, she said she felt betrayed, and in the end she threw away the friendship.. and now she is sending me this email.. its my opinion that she is not being sincere about the friendship but rather needs some help in moving stuff... but even if that's the case will any sane person with some self-respect throw away a friendship and then write such emails??????

 

i am not even going to respond to this email... and i guess i am doing the right thing!!

Posted

Noclobber,

 

I may be wrong on this, but if you promised (as in I promise I'll help you move), then I think you're bound by that to help. I don't think a promise is only good when things are going well. And I believe that we shouldn't make promises lightly. So if you promised, then you need to up hold that promise.

 

This is simply my opinion on it. If you felt that she understood that it was more of an offer to help, and she took you up on it, then it's slightly different. If you didn't feel it was a set in stone promise, then don't help. But if you honestly promised her....

 

I'm just saying, sometimes we get stuck into situations that we don't want to be in because we promised someone something. We have to decide if we are going to up hold our word, or back out.

 

I understand why you shouldn't help her move, and I don't believe that you should. But I do believe that if something is promised, you really can't back out.

 

Again, this is only my view of things. Take it with a grain of salt. :) I think 99% of people would agree that you shouldn't be held to that anymore since she ended the friendship. However, I don't think there's anything more sacred then a promise.

 

Good luck Clobsie. I wish she weren't being such a head case about all this. I still think you should stick to your guns about not being her friend. I think she's trying to tag you along still. She's already got other "friends" who have crushes on her, and they've proven they won't go anywhere even if she doesn't want more then friends.

Posted

Helloooooooooo to the two other muskateeeeeeers!!!!!! :)

 

I agree that a promise should be kept ... BUT ... She has led him on and I do believe that she knew he had feelings for her but she carried on letting him take her out and pay for her! She has basically used him and now he is feeling it and the ONLY way for Clobsie to move on is to have NO CONTACT. If that means breaking a promise then so be it .. His feelings have to count more than a promise on this one!

 

It suited her and now that he has halted it she is not liking it!

 

Let her find some other mug to move her stuff ... That is my opinion

  • Author
Posted

thanks walk and lishy.. my darlings :)

 

walk i am not completely denying the fact that i shud keep the word that i had given.. but u got to know exactly what happened..

 

since i needed some space and time i avoided seeing her.. and she is mad at me b'cos i am not spending time with her anymore.. she sent an email saying why i kept changing schedules and avoid meeting her at the train .. i said "in ur own words i am just ur friend. so why does it matter so much if i am not there on the train?". no reply from her.. :rolleyes:

 

yesterday morning she sent an email and said that if i want to avoid her then its fine but i got to keep my word and help her move.. i said let's meet in person and talk instead of exchanging emails.. when we met she gave me the cold shoulder and behaved very rudely.. then when we started talking she said i was being unfair... i was avoiding her and now refusing to help her move just b'cos she won't date me.. i told her "i didn't say that i am not going to help you.. if u want i will come over tomorrow and help you".. but then she said "u betrayed me.. just b'cos i won't date you, you start avoiding me and won't meet me anymore..". i replied "i am not avoiding u, i am only taking some time off.. i am already broken and now u r hurting me by saying that i betrayed u?". she said "i don't care about how u feel... u betrayed me.. i don't want to see u again.. u r not a friend anymore". i asked whether she was sure about that and she said yes and walked away. i said fine and moved on..

 

less than one hour she puts a sad face in an email and apologizes.. and that she wants to be friends again. i didn't reply.. then an hour later she calls me up, i didn't pick up the phone.. then she sends another email saying that she values my friendship and she still needs my help in moving.. she also asked me to meet her on the train.. i didn't reply and didn't meet her. then she calls me up again and leaves a voicemail saying that she is very sorry and wants to start over.. and again requested my help to move. i didn't respond..

 

is it not very apparent that she is using the friendship as a cover to get help from me? she has her friends to help her but somehow she wants me in her home.. i have a gut feeling that its just not about moving boxes.. there is something more to it.. even if none of her friends r there to help, her parents live in SFO and i am very sure that they will help their daughter if she is in a tight situation... so i think the whole me going to her home to help her move is a pretense to something else.. i dunno...

 

anyway i believe i did the right thing.. i am on NC now with her... by weekend she wud have moved to SFO.. the drama is over!! hopefully she won't contact me again...

  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

Three words: Cut her off. What a nutty, wishy-washy user.

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