downcydeguy Posted November 3, 2005 Posted November 3, 2005 She ended it over 2 weeks ago and there hasn't been one single attempt of contact from either of us. I want to very badly but don't want to possibly ruin any chance of a cordial meeting when she gets back in town. Should NC be broken only by the dumpER? Is it ever acceptable for a dumpEE to make the attempt? If so, is there a time limit?
Author downcydeguy Posted November 3, 2005 Author Posted November 3, 2005 First, I'm curious to know why she ended it since she danced around the reason. Second, we both have a lot of each other's personal items (clothes, etc.) that will need to be exchanged when she gets back. Yes, I know that she could give my stuff to somebody to drop off here but that won't solve the question of why she ended it. After treating her like a princess for 2 1/2 years, I feel that I deserve at least that much. Of course we don't always get what we desire so my hopes are not too high.
westernxer Posted November 3, 2005 Posted November 3, 2005 She ended it because she wants to date other guys (even though she'll never say it). That's all you need to know.
In Sync Posted November 3, 2005 Posted November 3, 2005 Of course you will only listen and do as you want, but from my experience and regrets...maintain your dignity and self-esteem..stick with NC. If anyone is going to do any contacting let it be her...and somehow retrieve your things via another person. This is a time when you'll be wanting to know why did she end it.. but are you ready to hear her say she wants to see other guys and then be stuck with that playing over and over in your mind. You deserve peace of mind and seeking it from her...I can almost guarantee from 90% of everyone's experience here at LS. I don't think it comes from the "dumper".
Nikita20 Posted November 3, 2005 Posted November 3, 2005 From reading numerous posts, from what I understand, NC is for the dumpee. It gives you time to reflect about the relationship, heal and move on. The NC gives the dumper a chance to miss you and realize that he/she made a mistake and wants you back. However, you shouldn't use NC as a method of winning your ex back. Because, if you have this expectation, it could backfire on you if they never call. My advice to you is stick with the NC for your own well being and sanity. I know it is hard. So far I've had a 1 month of NC with the ex and it has been complete hell. I did contact him because of a cleaning bill for the apartment that we shared, plus he owes me money. We had a spat, he hung up on me, I called him back and he agreed to pay the cleaning bill. He leaves me a snippy message 2 days later stating that the property manager said I left the apartment a mess. I call him back, telling him that I didn't appreciate the message. We talk. He apologizes. However, he doesn't mention anything about getting back together or missing me, nor do I mention how much I miss him, how much I want him back in my life and how much I love him. So now I'm back to day 1 of NC and I'm going to stick with it. It is the only way to go because as far as I'm concerned the message is clear: He doesn't want to get back together with me. I hope this helps.
JohnJohn Posted November 4, 2005 Posted November 4, 2005 Here's a great link with info about No Contact: [COLOR=#800080]NARCISSISTIC_PERSONALITY_DISORDER[/COLOR]
Alwaysunsure Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 JohnJohn, you're the best. That site was amazing. I feel the best I have flet in a week, just from reading the NC column, and then I checked out the 20 signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Now, I can finally stop balming myself for my exes behavior, and all the negative things in our relationship. That really explained alot, and there is no doubt in my mind that he has MNPD.Thank you
In Sync Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 Thanks JohnJohn, for passing on the site about NC, it was something I definitely needed to read and keep reading. Highly recommend that most of us on this thread check it out.
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