queenie01 Posted November 3, 2005 Posted November 3, 2005 Can anyone tell me how I can enforce no contact and get over my ex, when I have to see him all the time? Its been six months since we broke up and seeing him makes it almost impossible to forget about him and move on. What do i do?
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 3, 2005 Posted November 3, 2005 Is the only contact you have with him, when you see him at work or at the gym? Is he still contacting you otherwise? Are you responding to his contacts?
Author queenie01 Posted November 3, 2005 Author Posted November 3, 2005 Yes the only time i see him is at work or at the gym and its weird because somedays he is totally nice and will talk to me and is friendly and some days he acts as if im nonexistent... Usually about every month or so he will email me or approach me in the gym...i think he is trying to see if he still has my interest. He even sent me an email a month ago, telling me "im looking really good" He's weird!! He just looks at me at the gym now and we dont even say hi. I have been guilty of responding to his emails when he does email but usually im just short with him and then eventually he will stop responding. I never imagined i would still not be over him 6 months later!
Author queenie01 Posted November 3, 2005 Author Posted November 3, 2005 Well I was hanging out with someone new and i was loving it but he is moving to another state in a week so thats all over with. Its just hard because i still have feelings for my ex especially since we never fought and were best buddies.. we broke up out of the blue and i never got any answers so i just moved on. I have never stalked him, heck i have never even called him, written him a letter or nothign. Only communication has been via email. But its been six months so i gave up on hope... i figured if he was goign to realize what he lost it would have happened by now. Just hurts my feelings because when i see him he doesnt smile or anything, he just looks unhappy and i feel as if he acts like i did something to him and i never did....nor did i end things.
scobro Posted November 3, 2005 Posted November 3, 2005 I saw my ex at the gym today for the first time since NC 3 weeks.I just ignored her she said hey and that was it.She complained in the changeroom to a friend of mine that she felt awkward because I wouldn't look at her or talk to her.She wants to be buddies and I am just not there yet so why torture myself.If I got all friendly it would have killed me because feelings for my wife are still there and I need to get over them and move on yet she wants to be all buddy buddy with me so she doesn't feel so guilty about ending the marriage.
In Sync Posted November 3, 2005 Posted November 3, 2005 queenie01 Avoid this guy with hardcore NC. Especially at work and the gym. First there's no law saying you must be cordial or be the nice guy to someone who broke up with you. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying go out of your way to be mean but there's no reason for you to have to be Miss Nice to a person with whom you have broken up with. For your own benefit. And the reason I think hardcore for you, is because you must see him at work. Since you are not going to change jobs (you can switch gyms though) you have to be professional. But not a doormat. If he wants to strike up a conversation find a task that needs to be done immediately. Engaging in any kind of 'friendly' is just fake and b.s. Plus, consider the fact that if you still harbor the slightest feeling still for him..he'll pick on it. And for some reason he'll want to exploit that...perhaps to irritate you he'll drop hints that he's seeing someone else. Just to get a reaction, just to confirm for his own ego that you still want him. In the meanwhile you'll feel like crap if that happens because you've been nice with him and it means nada to him. You don't want to be dealing with getting over him any longer find the guts and will power to DISTANCE yourself from him like he was this flu epidemic that's coming around!
Author queenie01 Posted November 3, 2005 Author Posted November 3, 2005 I suppose that is what i have to do because being nice is certainly not paying off when he treats me as if i were non-existent.
In Sync Posted November 3, 2005 Posted November 3, 2005 Of course you want to be nice Of course you want envision be able to be on good term with the guy you were once with, but speaking from experience it's a fantasy to maintain that wishful thinking. If the ex broke it off and it wasn't something you wanted to have happened the dynamics of the relationship is always at a disadvantage for you. Your being nice is only going to create more hardship for you..Your ex has nothing to lose, he can be a play like he's a nice guy..but it's only going to "F" up your heart and mind. So at your expense you're still being nice and sweet. You are throwing pearls to swine. I repeat imagine him with someone and he brings her to work to introduce her to everyody there. You gonna be all nice then? The NC is to help build yourself up and get over this guy. Don't worry about being nice to him, he has his chance for your niceness and obviously didn't appreciate it 6 months ago. P.S. My dea departed mother use to say "whenever you go out pretend like there's a camera on you, always look you best and smile." So my message here to you is always look hot, not as a way to communicate with him but an announcement to him and the world you have moved on and look good doing it!
Author queenie01 Posted November 3, 2005 Author Posted November 3, 2005 Well I am just going to go about my life and act as if he doesnt exist because thats how he acts towards me.
westernxer Posted November 3, 2005 Posted November 3, 2005 What will you do when he e-mails you again?
Author queenie01 Posted November 3, 2005 Author Posted November 3, 2005 I guess just delete it. Honestly with the way he has been acting towards me the past couple weeks he isnt even worth having as a friend. We didnt end on bad terms and i didnt do him wrong.
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