Resigned from my very stressful job today without having another one - how do I navigate the dating scene until I get my next job?

[Aquarius9]

So, this is related to dating - today I resigned from my job - it was a new job and psychologically, it was eating me alive. I was very ambitious to go for this job but I was under so much psychological stress unlike I've been in a long time. I didn't feel myself at all and found it hard to even smile, but anyway; this period of unemployment might not be long, but it could last for a couple of weeks until I get something else.

What am I supposed to say on the dating front until I get a new job? I'm still on some of the apps - I can't lie when someone asks me what I do, but not many are going to want to date a guy that says they're temporarily unemployed? Should I just come off of the apps for the moment, or just be truthful, dress it up with my words and hope for the best?

Any advice is appreciated, thanks.

Edited January 23, 2023 by Aquarius9

[smackie9]

I say focus on your mental health, prepare your resume and start looking for a new job. Put dating on the back burner. 

[Calmandfocused]

Agree with smackie 100%.

Sort your head out and focus on getting a new job. Not only that but focus on getting yourself settled in a new job. That could take months but that’s ok. 
 

A step at a time mate 

[BaileyB]

Another who thinks you have more important things to deal with right now than dating. Best wishes. 

[Els]

I honestly don't understand why you would be trying to date while unemployed. Lots of couples go through unemployment at some stage, sure, but if the person doesn't even know you yet it'll probably be a hard pass.

[ShyViolet]

This seems like a good time to take a break from dating and focus on getting your employment sorted out.  But if you do happen to date, of course you need to be truthful.  What is the alternative, to lie?  Just be honest about it but keep it simple and don't go into it too much.  Just say "I'm job hunting right now, I resigned from my last job because it was really stressful and not a good fit."

[stillafool]

I agree with others to definitely put dating on hold and take care of your mental health,  resume and job search.  It may take longer than a few weeks so be deligent.

[Gaeta]

You don't need 'dating' while you're job hunting. All of your focus needs to be on searching/finding that next employment. 

[Alvi]

I see that you have two choices:

1. Be honest  and tell your potential date that you are looking for a job right now. Don't go into many details. Say that your last job wasn't a good fit for you and that you are actively looking for a new place to work. And leave it at that. I am sure it is going to scare a lot of people away but hey, maybe you'll fine the one who is scared off. Quitting jobs, changing jobs, getting sick and unable to work, getting laid-off, etc... is fairly common and can happen to everybody. Hopefully, you'll run into a woman or two who can understand that. Should you stop dating just because you do not currently have a job? I don't know. There are plenty of people out there, who for various reasons might not be in a best mindset to date. But they are dating anyway. So, I guess if you feel that you are in a good place emotionally and ready to start a relationship, that should not stop you.
2. Focus on getting a job and getting settled into that job before starting to date again. Your dating pool is going to get a lot wider and you might find the whole dating thing a lot easier.

Me, personally, I would go for the Choice #2 but everybody is different. 

[ccas93]

I understand wanting to date while between jobs or focusing on other things. You sound like you're quitting the job for a good reason and confident you may find a new one, it's not like you're unemployed bc you're lazy or unskilled. I think it also depends on how much time you really have to give to dating. I think if you're spending every waking minute of the day job searching, then no. But if you have evenings free and also have the emotional energy for it, then why not?

[Gaeta]

You're going to scare away good prospects & good prospects are hard to find.  It's normal most women won't want to date an unemployed man. No matter what you're telling them, you're still unemployed to them. 

You risk coming across rude women that will kill your self esteem & motivation. Why put yourself through that.

You said it's a matter of a couple of weeks to find a new job, surely you can put aside dating for a couple of weeks.

Edited January 24, 2023 by Gaeta

[Lotsgoingon]

Actually you can do them both: date and recover. 

The key point is that you have to feel good about leaving your stressful job. One way to feel good is to frame it focused on what you're moving towards. 

If you meet someone, don't hit them with all the problems of the previous job. Go more neutral ... find some things you liked about the job or the company, include those in your rap. And then you want to feel good about moving in a new direction. 

In my experience, dating partners really just want to know that you're not a bum. And that you have a plan and that you're taking action on that plan and that you're not stuck in bitterness over a previous job. Over time you can share more of the negative, but for now be measured.  There is nothing wrong or shameful about leaving a job that is ridiculously stressful and bad for your health. Nothing wrong with that unless you make it wrong. 

[JTSW]

Forget about dating until you have a new job.

Then you wont have to worry about what to tell them.

Take care of yourself first.

[Alpacalia]

Less the added stress. Agree to focus on your career. Good luck!

[spiritedaway2003]

My priority would be on finding another job.

On the dating side, "I'm taking a short break from work and looking for a new job, hopefully I'll find something soon" and leave it at that.

[Wiseman2]

On 1/23/2023 at 12:07 PM, Aquarius9 said:

Should I just come off of the apps for the moment.

Delete all your old profiles from the apps completely. Focus solely on your resume, job search for now..

When you have a position, start completely fresh. New quality apps(at least one paid app) , new pics, new profile. New profiles get much more interest than stale re-upped or chronically updated but old ones.

So use this time to not only retool your resume and job, use this time to retool your dating apps and profile. New apps. New pics. New well written profile. New screen name.

When people see the same old faces on the same old apps on and off, over and over , it's not a good look.