beebees Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 I'm a newbie here. I have been dating this guy for a few months and for the most part, I'm a happy camper. Today is his birthday. Last week, I told him that I would like to take him out tonight so that we could celebrate. He told me that we couldn't go out because he attends church on Wednesdays (which is true), but I could stop by his house afterwards. No big deal. Well, I called during my lunch break to reconfirm tonight and he said I couldn't come by because his co-workers are taking him out for his birthday. I reminded him about our conversation last week and he got very quiet. My feelings are hurt. I don't mind him going out with his friends...I actually encourage it. What gets me is that church was too important to miss when i asked him out, but it's not for his co-workers, which he sees everyday. Am I overreacting?? I didn't yell at him, but I told him that I was upset. I don't even want to see him this weekend...I just want to be alone.
curiousnycgirl Posted November 3, 2005 Posted November 3, 2005 I totally understand why you are hurt, however from the fact that he got quiet I am going to assume that he did not mean to hurt you. Sometimes people just don't think. He probably had all the best intentions of going to church when he spoke with you. Then today, or yesterday or whenever comes along and all these other folks want to take him out - and he says what the heck, sounds like fun. I would not take it personally, nor would I sulk - that will only make you more upset. You've told him you are hurt, now try to let it go. I know it is hard - but if everything else is great, I would suggest you just chalk this one event up to his not thinking. If behaviour like this continues, that is a totally different story.
tom richardson Posted November 4, 2005 Posted November 4, 2005 Hey there. Sometimes in life we unintentionally overlook the feelings of those closest to us to please people we are less comfortable being honest with. I say look him straight in the eye and say "Hey! You hurt my feelings the other night!" People deserve the benifit of a doubt-ONCE! If he continues being inconsiderate ditch him and never look back, nobody should be made to play "second fiddle". Peace and best wishes to you all. Bye.
tanbark813 Posted November 4, 2005 Posted November 4, 2005 Maybe he has the hots for one of his coworkers. I can't imagine choosing people I work with over getting laid.
whichwayisup Posted November 4, 2005 Posted November 4, 2005 Maybe he felt some pressure, his co-workers probably were planning something and sprung it on him so he couldn't say no. I don't know the dynamtic between you two, but I hope that you're comfortable enough to tell him how that made you feel. Don't sulk or not see him this weekend, that's not a good way of handling it...Be honest but don't accuse him of anything. I'm sure he just didn't think it through and didn't think of how you would feel.
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