prdeeva Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 I have been in a relationship for over three years, we have a 2 year old child and up until recently we were very happy. I guess due to the fact that we both work full time jobs and then come home and take care of our son, I didn't even notice that we were spending less and less time with each other. Our sex life is now non existant, the only time we go out is as a family. He and I had a discussion last night about the fact that we are growing further and further apart. However, neither one of us could come up with a way to solve this problem. We still love each other very much but is it only because we share a child? Could someone please help me figure out how to get my love life back on track. I don't want to lose this man and yet I don't know how to keep him either.
slubberdegullion Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 How any relationship stays together when both people are working full-time, and there's a 2-year-old child, is almost a miracle in itself. You're certainly not alone. Stress and exhaustion take their toll, to the detriment of the relationship. So before you start on a plan to reinforce your relationship, sit down with your hub and discuss priorities. What's priority #1? Is it your boy? Careers? Finances? The marriage? If you're like most people, your top priority will probably be your child and your relationship with your partner. But, like most people, there's very often a disconnect between what we deem as our priorities and what we actually do. For instance, it's pretty clear that the best you can do for your son, as individuals and as a couple, is to be healthy and well-adjusted yourselves. But career aspirations often tend to take over, necessitating extra hours at the office, working from home, and when time off is available, it's spent recovering from exhaustion and stress. So, before anything else, see if you can determine where there's a disconnect between what you wish for yourselves and your child and what you're actually doing. Just the fact of having that conversation with your husband - uninterrupted, if possible, by your child - will begin to re-knit the relationship back together. By the way, the sense I get is that your love hasn't gone sour; it has simply been overtaken by events. Re-establishing your priorities will go a long way in bringing it back to the fore.
curiousnycgirl Posted November 3, 2005 Posted November 3, 2005 All of the successful relationships/marriages I know of make a very concerted effort to spend time together - just the two of them. In general they all have a standing "date night" where they go to dinner, a movie, theater, whatever. Regardless of whatever else is going on, date night seems to be sacred - they both make sure to be there. You might want to consider that.
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