Tangerina Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 A few days ago I remember reading a post from someone who was getting paranoid about how common cheating is after reading all the posts on here by people with cheating SOs, but then someone pointed out that there is probably an uncommonly high proportion of them here since this is a good place to talk about it. After a big cup of coffee on an empty stomach (a situation that often brings on mini anxiety attacks for me) I realized that the daily posts about porn addiction made me afraid that my BF would develop this problem! Once again, I think this site attracts a higher % of people who are dealing with these kinds of things, but how common is it? Like, my BF has a slightly addictive personality (cigs, weed), but also is smart enough to realize it and control those things when he feels it has gotten out of hand for a week or two... he is also kind of addicted to kinky sex... he can get off when it isn't kinky, but the whole kink thing brings it to a much higher level for him (and me I guess, but I don't need it as much) so we do that often.... we live in separate cities and only see each other on weekends and so during the week he looks at porn to get off, maybe 3 times a day, sometimes... but when we are together he never goes to look at it (well, except for the time we both wanted to look at it) and he never seems to have a problem with wanting me for reasons that seem porn related (sleep deprivation and stress affect his desire a lot, though)... I guess I am just worried that if we live together this summer it will be a bigger problem because he will want to keep it up even with me around, or the longer that we are together it will take over more as the intensity between us fades a bit (he has never been in a LTR for more than 7 months, tho he is LTR material, not to wander-y when he has something he likes...) Anyways, I dunno, just kind of thinking outloud.... Don't really think it will ever be a problem, but I wasn't even really aware of the problem of porn addiction til I found LS! Well, except from the only episode of Sex in the City that I ever saw.....
Joe Tex Posted November 3, 2005 Posted November 3, 2005 Unless your guy has a bad whackin'/porn habit now you shouldn't worry in the short term. It's when you get married, have a couple of kids and have been together for 10 years that you have to keep an eye open to your partner's getting a porn habit. There are alot of married guys who suddenly find themselves a sudden need for sexual variety. Most don't want to chance breaking up a family by going to prostitutes or having affairs so they do the easiest thing- download a porn movie off the intenet or visit websites. Or, more dangerous to the relationship, they start chatting with other women online. Many guys don't believe that these things are harmful. That is open to debate but the need for a seperate fantasy life gets stronger and stronger the longer he is married.
lindya Posted November 3, 2005 Posted November 3, 2005 Unless your guy has a bad whackin'/porn habit now you shouldn't worry in the short term. It's when you get married, have a couple of kids and have been together for 10 years that you have to keep an eye open to your partner's getting a porn habit. There are alot of married guys who suddenly find themselves a sudden need for sexual variety. Most don't want to chance breaking up a family by going to prostitutes or having affairs so they do the easiest thing- download a porn movie off the intenet or visit websites. Or, more dangerous to the relationship, they start chatting with other women online. There's something unnerving about seeing such world-weary words of wisdom emanate from a cute little kid dressed as a cowboy.
Hot Coco Posted November 3, 2005 Posted November 3, 2005 That's hilarious! Before I ever read your post Lyn, I was thinking the EXACT same thing! Creepy! Joe, excellent post. May I add that unfortunately, it's not just men who are prone to that kind of behavior. How do you get rid of that desire? The desire to have a fantasy life, I mean?
Joe Tex Posted November 3, 2005 Posted November 3, 2005 No matter how old and wise Tex gets....he'll always be a cute lil cowpoke.... How do you get rid of men's desire for a fantasy like? You don't. But you can keep it from getting out of hand.
Hot Coco Posted November 3, 2005 Posted November 3, 2005 You're right. So true. It's just a matter of self-control.
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