Rodeogirl Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 but I dont think he will pick up, the last thing I did was email him that long message last thursday, and thats the ladt time I ever contacted him.I need closure and I think playing silly games right now is childish, shoot I loved him and all I wnated was for him to say he cared if I left town or not with my husband. I do want him back and I do want to contact him, but I have no idea what to say after I wrote that email last week. I need him so bad you guys. HELP!
whyohwhy Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 Please find yourself some distraction - almost anything will do. Get active, work out, go see a funny movie and laugh until your sides ache, get drunk with girlfriends, whatever! Just don't call him. The feelings are strong now, but they will fade with time if you are strong now.
Author Rodeogirl Posted November 2, 2005 Author Posted November 2, 2005 I'm sorry I feel really weak and I tried all that for 6 days now and today I need my man back.
Author Rodeogirl Posted November 2, 2005 Author Posted November 2, 2005 I just sent a text, baby here i come...
Hot Coco Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 I just sent a text, baby here i come... He's not "your" man. Shouldn't have sent that message. He's going to push you away even more now.
Author Rodeogirl Posted November 2, 2005 Author Posted November 2, 2005 I sent it and I waited for a response and nothing so then I called!!!! and he picked up on second ring and said "well hello there" like he had been waiting for me to get up enough guts to at least call him...he then said he had called me 10 minutes before but another call had been coming in he had to take and he hung up..hmmmmmmmmmmm... anyway we talked things over for 20 minutes or so and I do feel betetr knowinghis perspective on things now, he did feel like I should not have asked him if he cared if I stayed or left because no matter how he answered he felt it would have been taken a certain way..etc...he felt it was unfair to ask him that and said he never wanted to be my marriage counselor. so many questions were answered, and so many things were said that had never been said before and now I feel better about moving on, he still wants us to have sex lots of it ,and thats where my new power comes in...ill dangle his ass for a long assss time before he gets to taste this again and drive him up the freakin wall... I do care about him alot and since he knows that, it will put a different feeling to making love to him again, he said he didnt wnat me crying and feeling heartbroken etc... he even joked and said hmm maybe i should just pound it hard instead of going slow as if doing it faster will make me feel less attached... Anyway I am glad we spoke I know he loves his wife, I know he isnt leaving and I know I will never have him, even if I did divorce mine. Bottom line:confused:
Author Rodeogirl Posted November 2, 2005 Author Posted November 2, 2005 So now I can do NC at first I couldnt because I had too many unanswered questions and it was bothering me too much. Now that I know he is still willing to pound this puzz and readily eagar to get it as much as he can...I am going to avoid his azzz for a long time...this is going to be fun!!!
Sloppy Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 He sounds like a real jackas*s who has no respect for you (hence him wanting to sleep with you knowing you have feelings for him...and joking about it:( ), and it seems like you will be going through a VERY LONG heart-break unless you cut him off completely and right now! Btw how does he love his wife? Isn't he betraying her with you?! That's not love, that's conveniece.
Hot Coco Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 So now I can do NC at first I couldnt because I had too many unanswered questions and it was bothering me too much. Now that I know he is still willing to pound this puzz and readily eagar to get it as much as he can...I am going to avoid his azzz for a long time...this is going to be fun!!! Well, I was wrong I guess. But NOW it really sounds like you CAN dump him. You have the upperhand now and he thinks HE does. By the way, the talks to you like you're a slut. (And I'm not saying that you are, please don't misunderstand me!) But he doesn't talk to you like he respects you at all.
Author Rodeogirl Posted November 2, 2005 Author Posted November 2, 2005 Dont know but he said he loved her today when we talked. I played a game and lost, it hurt bad to lose.So now that the ball is back in my court with the information I gathered between the last 6 days, and the phone call today, I feel so much better .Now he is waiting on me to say when and where we can fk again. But it's me who has the feelings and its bothersome that he is willing to keep fking me knowing that now after 2 years, although he says thats breaking the rules (having strings attached). with so many other women falling at his feet why does he still want to fk me then if he is just looking for casual no strings attached sex?? he still wants us to hook up. Of course i didnt reject him i just said that i wont stop caring about him.... oh well IM BACK BABY
allaboutchoices Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 He keeps coming back to you because you are easy. You put up with his shi*. You tell him you have feeling for him = he sees an opportunity. He doesn't care about you. He is a jerk. Also, why are you playing this game? You either want him in your life or you don't. What is this crap about a ball and stuff? i would kick him to the curb, let him wonder what happened and move on onto another OW while he LOVES his wife. Oh he loves her so much that out of love for her he fuc*s other women. His whole heart belongs to her and is burning with love for her, and therefore he needs to put his di*k in other pu*sy to cool it off. I bet she loves him back for that. C'mon, gather some self respect. You deserve SO MUCH BETTER!
allaboutchoices Posted November 3, 2005 Posted November 3, 2005 Oh, I guess the point I was trying to make was that he is lying. He is lying to you, AND he is lying to his W. It's not going to change. You are hurting, why not get out of it now?
smile95 Posted November 3, 2005 Posted November 3, 2005 this is a true story???? YOu are in love with this man and all he says is he wants to have lots of sex with you??? ummmm...is that all you are looking for in him????Seems it is all he wants from you! What man in love says that?
Author Rodeogirl Posted November 3, 2005 Author Posted November 3, 2005 He is a jerk because he has gotten everything he has wanted in life.He is trying to use me and it wont happen this time, especially now that i really know it wont be going anywhere, in short all i wanted was for him to feel the same about me in the end as i did him, today confirmed alot of things i didnt want to face. He doesn't mean to be a jerk i dont think hetries to come off that way on purpose. In regards to being talked to like a slut , we do it to eachother we talk dirty on a regular basis so it doesnt bother me...you should hear us during the act,,,its so bad ,lol. but trust me guys i am not as caught up as i was before i loved hearing in his voice that he wanted more easy sex and because i know how bad i can fk with his head. @ allabout, what is he lying to me about??
Sloppy Posted November 3, 2005 Posted November 3, 2005 Rodeogirl, please stop making excuses for his behavior. I know it's hard, I still do it my self at times (pst, don't tell anyone ). Sometimes it's just hard to believe the reality, they are painted on our hearts and we still want to live the pretty life we ONCE HAD with the MM. But he really IS a jerk. His actions speak louder. He tries to come across as one and he acts as two jerks . Don't let him use you. He has gotten and eaten all the cake in the world now - he must be like 300lbs You asked Allaboutchoices what he is lying about: first, his wife doesn't know, does she - he is lying to her. If she does know, he tells her how horrible you are and that you don't leave him alone - he is lying to her. He doesn't tell you the truth about her, either. He might love her in his own twisted way, but c'mon... He is lying to him self as well. This man is no catch. Any decent man wouldn't get into an A in the first place, but using you and treating you the way he is to you ... that's just not cool. Sorry girl. Really, do your self a favor and drop him like a spoiled egg.
Author Rodeogirl Posted November 3, 2005 Author Posted November 3, 2005 I do make excuses for him alot...I hate to say so. Yea he is using me for sex and thats something I needed from him as well , now he knows I developed feelings during all this. A decent guy or a guy who didn't have his own intentions of " caring" would break it off out of fear of knowing I might expect something back. I'm wondering hmmm either this guy thinks Im the best fk he has ever had and it doesn't matter or he wants to feel something too. He said he didn't want anyone feeling sad or heartbroken, and at that moment I wanted him to just dump me, but he didn't want to.And I was not ready to tell him either because I dont think I really deeply wnat him gone, I just wanna break from it all to think and build my self esteem and figure out my own marriage. Gosh you guys have no idea have much better I feel.
curly Posted November 3, 2005 Posted November 3, 2005 You had better print out this thread or write some stuff down right now about how you're feeling. Because in a couple of days, maybe weeks, when you haven't heard from him... you'll start to go into curiousity mode. Questions will come up again. You'll need a little bit more closure - or at least, that's what you're gonna tell yourself. Why hasn't he called? Is he missing me? Did he tell me the truth? What is the truth? I've fallen into this trap so many times. Please learn from other's huge mistakes. Keep NC. Keep it as if your life depends on it. In a lot of ways, it does. Just don't give in to the questions and the panic. Don't call him asking more questions. It seems to me that all this guy wants is sex. And you're playing right into his hands. We've all done it. The MM is a master manipulator. So good that you don't even know he's doing it. Good luck with NC & please work on YOUR marriage. That you do have and have some control over.
Author Rodeogirl Posted November 4, 2005 Author Posted November 4, 2005 He text me 8 times today asking for naked photos from my pic phone...
curly Posted November 4, 2005 Posted November 4, 2005 And he won't stop until you make him stop.... Don't engage any conversation.... he will keep coming at you for a while..... just make your mind up that it's going no where. He will break your heart. I know what you're going through. I've been an OW for 1.5 years.... It's the worst thing and the best thing that ever happened to me... I have loved with everything I had, but in the end, it still wasn't enough. Walk away from this situation.
Sloppy Posted November 4, 2005 Posted November 4, 2005 He text me 8 times today asking for naked photos from my pic phone... Doesn't THAT tell you what he's after? Even if you were in for sex before, you have feelings now. And he is DESRESPECTING YOU! He is a pig. Sorry Rodeogirl. Can you ignore him?
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 4, 2005 Posted November 4, 2005 Rodeo, it sounds like your MM is the living embodiment of Mr. Madonna/Whore Complex. Your relationship with him is emotional sado-masochism. It is not love. It is not respect. It is a fulfillment of blind, dark need. It is unfortunate you came out on the negative end of his needs. Protect your heart. Understand that he does love his wife - in ways that he can and will never love you. His needs for her are wife/mother/saint/nurturer - his needs for you are well... you know what they are. He probably cannot even comprehend treating his W like he treats you - but he needs an outlet for his dark side, and you are it. Never mistake yourself for more than that with him. If accepting your part in his needs is making you happy, then continue - but if you are falling in love with this guy and want from him what he only has available to his W then you are sadly out of luck and are setting yourself up for the mother of all heartbreak.
Author Rodeogirl Posted November 4, 2005 Author Posted November 4, 2005 Thank you for the advice Luc and for staying on topic. I value your opinion, you come straight everytime. his wife is no saint though she was however the other woman in his first wifes life for quite some time.So she has in fact been able to experience his dark side. I am not falling in love I fell for him already and decided to tell him and it did not turn out well. I am not going back to tis situation, if we do sleep together again it will be on my terms. He called me this morning and I had not returned his call yet, it is hard ignoring him VERY HARD. But I also know how he acts when I do give in and it doesn't feel good afterwards.
Author Rodeogirl Posted November 5, 2005 Author Posted November 5, 2005 thank you guys but i wont be returning anytime soon I have another way of getting this out, I appreciate the help.
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