WRbeach60954 Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 Hey guys, I have a question...I have a girlfriend who says shes not ready to have sex, shes 16 and Im 18. Im trying to figure out if she'll ever have sex with me..About 2-3 months ago I hooked up with her and we were both drunk, a few days later she said it would be weird if we hooked up again cause we're just friends, and now we're "in love". Do you guys have any advice for me? Im not going to force her whatsoever into doing anything, Im just a little confused right now. THANKS!
glittergurl Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 Don't push her. I wasn't ready at 16 and even broke up a few times because I did not want to do it yet. If you really love her, then be patient. If you can't live without sex, then tell her flat out and maybe look for someone else; but don't try to push her to do something she doesn't want to do.
Yamaha Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 Wait until she's ready. Trying to figure the female mind is next to impossible so just spank the monkey until she's ready to keep the tension down.
glittergurl Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 I can guarantee you, if she doesn't feel ready and gives in just to please you; her first time will be pretty painful.
slubberdegullion Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 Take your time. There's no hurry. Sure, your hormones will be rattling your cage for a while, but you're in charge, not them.
MiBella Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 I lost my virginity to my boyfriend when I was 17 years old. He waited 11 months for me and then we ended up together for 3 years. It's worth the wait.
GuySimple Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 I going out on a limb here in saying that you don’t really feel as strongly about this girl as you probably told her you felt. The quotes around the “in love” part kind of say this. Ya know, my wife, who is 40 today, still remembers the first time she made love to a guy. In your case, if you are going to be this girls first guy you’d better be prepared to accept the emotions that go along with it. It is not just a physical satisfaction thing to her. Trust me an 18 year old guy does not hold a candle to a 16 year old women in the emotions department. If she says she is not ready, your first major life lesion in love is to accept this, respect it and continue to grow your relationship without any expectations. If this is hard, which it is to the average Joe, go rent yourself a movie or buy a magazine and have a ball. Don’t step on this girl’s memories and possible self respect by pushing the issue.
lilmoma1973 Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 Well said Guysimple... I wish more men felt the same way you do that is sweet what you said ... I was 19 when i lost my virginity and i think the reason i did it was because him pressuring me and i wanted it to be over with.. Alll my friends had lost theirs and i can actually say that after it happen i was disappointed because i thought it was suppose to be so great and it could be because i was infatuated with the guy and thought i was in love but now looking back i wasn't !!! He was a player and all he wanted was my virginity and i regret giving it to him cause he didn't deserve it ..Please be patient with her and when she is ready she will !!! Do not pressure her into somehthing she really don't want to do and regret... Make it very special for her when the time is right!! Get you a magazine and have at it or a porn video like Guy said !!!!
Author WRbeach60954 Posted November 2, 2005 Author Posted November 2, 2005 GuySimple, about the "in love" I only used it that way cause we havnt been dating that long so Im not even sure if we are really in love yet. Thanks for the replys guys, yes Im going to wait till shes ready, Im not trying to come off as some horny pervert. Im wondering what its like from a girls point of view mainly? I guess it depends on the girl though.
Walk Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 Please just find a girl who's your age, and ready for sex. There's a whole lot of emotional problems (in the girl) if you take this girls virginity. If you are not 100% in love with her, and absolutely, full-heartedly willing to wait a year, 2 years, then find someone else. There is so much emotional attachment in losing your virginity. And maybe I'm wrong, but I can't imagine the sex would be very good when you did have it. Why don't you find someone better suited for you at this time. Male hormones at 18 are damn near impossible to subdue. Don't be that guy who just wants the "conquest" then throws her to the curb a month later. Not trying to say you're a bad person or anything, you don't sound like it, but if you're concerned now about when she would want to have sex, then just let her go. You've got plenty of time to find that "someone" who you will want to wait to have sex with. That's my opinion anyway. And for the love of anything, DON'T ever tell her you aren't going to stay with her cause she won't have sex with you.
933KJL Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 Depending on where you live, you could be charged with rape or a tried as a sexual ooffender. What is the age of consent--you are an adult. She probably is considered a child, and don't think an irate daddy would not tell the tale to the police
Cecelius Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 Frankly, she WILL give it up, to the guy she feels the right way about (and it will have little to do with being comfortable or in love, etc. -- when she's genuinely attracted she will do anything with that guy). You may have made some missteps in your approach to her and she doesn't think of you quite that way. She likes you fine, but she's just not wildly turned on by you. I guarantee that if you wait this out (in the sense of sitting on your hands), she will ultimately break up with you before she has sex with you. Some other guy will be the guy. Your only hope at this point is to act like you couldn't care any less about sex, and slowly but surely become a little more absent and a little more distant, while being attractive and dangerous at the same time. It might work. But really, you are much better off just starting with someone new.
Author WRbeach60954 Posted November 4, 2005 Author Posted November 4, 2005 OK Im confused again, she keeps bringing up sex in coversations. "I was with so and so and was talking about you and she asked if we've had sex yet and I said no and she was really supprised"..."So and so has sex all the time and shes only this old" Why are girls so confusing? Is she playing with my mind? Is she trying to tell me that she wants to? Thanks guys, this thread has been a big help so far.
whichwayisup Posted November 4, 2005 Posted November 4, 2005 She isn't doing this to confuse you - She's talking about sex and getting more comfortable with it. It will happen when it happens. Don't ask her when the time is ... But, DO still fool around, use fingers, tongues, and have fun! Get sexual with eachother and make her feel good about her body. At 16 years old she hasn't had alot of sexual experiences...I'm sure this is a comfort level in general and has nothing to do with you. Be patient and be affectionate with her. The more she feels you truely do love and care for her the more open she will be.
Cecelius Posted November 4, 2005 Posted November 4, 2005 She is insecure about the topic, but very curious, so she talks about it as a way of bringing it out in the open. She's not going to be direct about it at all. Know this, though: she is giving you the signs, and if you do not follow through, you are going to make her feel rejected/ugly/whatever, and her defense mechanism is to conclude that you are not a take charge guy. The she will move on to someone who will get started. You cannot expect rationality about sex from a 16 year old girl. She has WAY too many conflicting emotions and issues surrounding it. Do not pay attention to what she is saying (for instance, if she is saying that she is going to wait, you need to guage whether she is laying down the law, or trying to reassure herself).
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