Break Posted November 1, 2005 Posted November 1, 2005 Alright, I'm a quiet guy in a ghetto school and tend not to be very social and more into my work. I fit in the crowd perfectly with my designer baggy jeans, t-shirt, and hoody with a fitted (hat) on top. I'm not looked upon as a geek or a loser or any category that would be considered bad, I have friends! Guys and girls a like! But when a girl catches wind to me and gives me a look, or offers a smile, I freeze up. I either turn red, look away, or do both. OCCASSIONALY I'll conjure up enough heart to return a look or a smile, but its very RARE occassion. There are even times when a girl brushes my shoulder with hers in a playful manner to influence the chance of me talking to her, but I never could do it! Just today THREE girls tried to build a conversation with me, but I, like the usual, ended each convo with a short answer and broke away from the situation. I'm shy, yes. But, the reason why I'm shy is because I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do, and I don't know how to approach a girl that shows feelings or interest for me. I truly and desperately need help. I want to be able to know what to say when someone gives me a brush on the shoulder, or approach someone that gives me a smile and a look. I've passed too many opportunities on a relationship and I want to be done with it. PLEASE, someone offer some help! P.S. I've had past relationships, but not serious ones. The most I've ever done is KISS a girl..
quankanne Posted November 1, 2005 Posted November 1, 2005 at the risk of sounding bad, your shyness is kind of sweet. And I imagine the young ladies who approach you feel the same way. how do you move past it? Take a deep breath then ask a couple of open-ended questions and let the other person handle the bulk of the conversation. After awhile, you'll find yourself drawn into said conversation, and it'll begin to flow naturally. Hi. How you doing? How is sports/band/drill team going? Didn't that chemistry test suck? stuff along those lines. Just enough to get people talking. If you are attentive, heck, they'll just gobble that up and you won't have to worry about necessarily doing a lot of talking! good luck and practice at it
Author Break Posted November 1, 2005 Author Posted November 1, 2005 I understand, I'll give that a try with some of my good female friends. Though, my BIGGEST problem is approaching girls. I have no idea to approach a girl that gives me a smile every time I see her, but yet, keeps walking. I don't wanna sound like an ass and say, "Yo, ma. What's good? You got a man?"
quankanne Posted November 1, 2005 Posted November 1, 2005 I don't wanna sound like an ass and say, "Yo, ma. What's good? You got a man?" no, that would be rather forward! :p however, it's never wrong to respond to a conversation initiated by another; just like it's nice to be acknowledged when you smile or wave or nod at someone in passing. If you've got something you can approach with (getting information about class, etc), that's always a good ice-breaker when someone smiles your way but doesn't follow up with conversation. From there you build up to the "you got a man" query ...
glittergurl Posted November 1, 2005 Posted November 1, 2005 I don't wanna sound like an ass and say, "Yo, ma. What's good? You got a man?" LOL Not sure they'd fall for that anyway Just say "hey". Don't expect super long conversations right after that. Just let it build up slowly, and take it day by day. If you don't feel comfortable, then take it slowy; because trying to force it all at once will not work if you don't feel ready enough. Allow yourself time to test the waters and get more comfortable around the girl(s) you're trying to get to know.
Author Break Posted November 2, 2005 Author Posted November 2, 2005 Alright, so basically just come on as an aquaintance at first and build after that, right? I'll try and do that today, maybe practice a bit in the mirror before school, heh.
slubberdegullion Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 Alright, so basically just come on as an aquaintance at first and build after that, right? Well, yes and no. If you're too much of a buddy to the girls, you'll get slammed into the prison known as the friend zone, whereby you're the non-threatening guy friend who ends up listening to all their problems, helping them with their homework, etc. etc., without any hope of a deeper romantic relationship. So while it's certainly good to have friends that are girls, make your intentions clear to the one(s) that you'd like to become involved with. It's a fine balance, and it's not easy. But you seem like a pretty sharp dude, and I think you'll be just fine.
Author Break Posted November 2, 2005 Author Posted November 2, 2005 Today, I flirted with a girl that I had absolutely NO interest in, and I was smooth. I was playful and funny and all that jazz. But, when it comes to just TALKING to a girl I'AM interested in.. I crash, burn, and skin my knees badly. I'm just too damn shy. With all the great advice given, I still seem to fail. How in the HELL can one overcome this THING, this ugly THING.. This.. SHY..? Edit: Oh, Slubberdegullion, I can't even get close enough to the girls I find interest in to even become a friend. xD But, if I do, I'll watch for that. I know about that zone..
justagirl1121 Posted November 3, 2005 Posted November 3, 2005 Im a shy girl. I think people think i have some barrier and they totally don't even approach me, which makes me even shyer...but i got this one guy I DO Like and i am so at ease with him its rediculous, quite the opposite of clamming up on someone i like as is the stereotype u know? I think you just need some practice. Trust me it gets better. I was the shyest person ever in highschool, same things as you, no idea what to say. The words were JUST NOT IN MY HEAD! But as time goes on and you experience more things in life, you'll find more to talk about too. Talk about ANYTHING. ANYTHING AT ALL. Be funny. But don't be disgusting. If you're into something that's really popular, ask if they're interested too. For example, Harry Potter. If that is the case just be like I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE MOVIE...and if they are into it too they'll totally freak that you are too adn you'll have PLENTY to talk about then!!! Works for me with complete strangers.
Recommended Posts