please read.. it'd be helpful. [self-confidence]

[3questions]

Let's see..I kind of got lost in the road of finding myself because my self-confidence was always getting me down which brings me to my question. What is self-confidence, Is it there with you 100 percent of the time? I remember when we'd be younger and none of this really mattered (age 10-14) at all. Sometimes I find myself sitting in class just wondering about these things.. as like what to think of what I can do to feel more confidence and what to say to myself, what to think.

 

Now what should I really do? If you can help me with this topic that would be helpful. I have been viewed as something different for a long time because I don't socialize, and my confidence.. everyone thinks something. That means I been through SOOO much, I thought you are suppose to improve with everything you go through, but it is changing me in to this complete "a hole" sometimes. But most of the time i'd be thinking. Maybe i am suppose to improve by actually doing it.. by how can i start.. where

[tabe]

Self Confidence is always conditional. You could be fearless in a boxing ring but buckle in a job interview.

[scobro]

self confidence is how you feel about yourself and if you do not feel good about how you act or look you will project this to other people you meet.A couple of things to help your self confidence is body image get in shape lose some weight this helps also start reading some self help books they are great.

[3questions]

I mean i understand.. I don't need to lose weight and all I am just fine. It is how I feel. I noticed a awhile ago that I project myself as someone else because I feel like I let things slide when people walk over me. This goes for when someone ask for help or something. I jump on it like they need CPR or something. Than just than a sudden burn on my chest happens and my eyes drift off. Especially when they see that I am taking it offensively, they make it seem more like it. And when I have a relationship for some what reason I tend to cling on them.

 

Venting has already helped me: (Remember the expression of the words is describing how I *feel*)

* uneasy, scared, something weird

+ better..

 

classmante: How do you doublespace on word?

me: *y-you uh.. press ctrl 2. here.

classmate: ...

me: +well............. just highlight the words. first. its easy. - backs away.

 

Well all seems best now, but I am experimenting and it seems as if I am feeling low again when I think about if I am acting to get this sort of power. Why do you think I feel this way when communicating with people? And what more do you think I should do with this current problem? Maybe I am overreacting! Maybe I am not expecting that kind of thing from someone even though it has been happening for so long!

 

 

BTW I dated this girl a year ago. I loved her like no other, it was a feeling I cant describe. Than I dated another girl and all this started happening, she says I am selfish and I want more love. Because my ex, possibly effecting me too? Last night a coincidence happen and I woke up on the time I asked her out after I dreamt about her.

[pearlsasinger]

I think you get nervous because you're worrying too much about what others think. I've been there, I know.

 

Focus on yourself! Develop your passions or hobbies and you'll have something to feel confident about. The rest will start to fall into place.

 

And just tell yourself as much as you remember to, that you are a great person that people want to know! That you have a lot of great qualities. You may not believe it at first, but it you will start to. You will catch up to it. Maybe even write those qualities down to remind yourself.

[3questions]

thanks dude. I'll update when I need to.

[3questions]

everything is changing. Oh k. Now something REALLY weird is happening. I know this guy, my sister's boyfriend. He in a way is relating to me now. Everywhere I walk It is like im walking around with no one around me. I could just be even visualizing someone there.. they. Like im doing things I would normally do if I was alone. Now it sounds good and all.. but i still observe the people and they dont notice me UNTILL they actually look at me and see that im ok and not moping around. I want to socialize. what is going on? It is like I can be myself and not feel nervous anymore because I know when people look at me i get that confidence. but then i dont have this thing in my mind where i can go up to someone and say "Hey".

 

 

???????????????????????????????

[3questions]

mr. pearlsasinger! I understand that you had your nervous life before, can you tell me in detail how it was like for you? I am not exactly sure that I am nervous but at this point I agree on the count that I dont know what the heck is going on. ( ignore my top post ) . UM.. I have to ask you, have you ever felt very comfortable in people's faces but inside you are really nervous to say anything? Or it is the other way around and you just kind of ignore and your nervousness shows. Please post back to me!!

[rschief]

do you exerscise, do you shower ever day, do youu brush your teeth every day. do you use deoderant, do you wear dakkar or other nice cologne. Firrst there has to be clean hygene. stay away from drugs and alcohol, those are false paths. make a friend, maybee even a pen pow, and if you would, seek God Almighty first in all things.

[rschief]

learn the wor dignity instead of pride. You can be dignified having knowleadge to share, and some people may be intimmitated at first, but it is most likley they are somewhat emmbarrased because they coul not have seen what you seen and learned it on their own. being overanxiuos to help can be interpreted easily as you beeing a needy person (and there is plenty of jealousy from young adults to spur this idea) so others also shy away because they are spent on emmotions also and can not handle any needyness from someone else. cliquish crowds happen everywhere. sometimes you do have to step back and regroop yourself. it is ok , we all do this from time to time. I believe i heard bette middler once in a movie say, "you would spend less time worrying what people think of you, when you realize how little people actually do think of you." This statement fits everyone, because we are all dealing with acceptance issues throughout are life. Thats why we have class reunions after we graduate because we sometimes forget even what our bests friends look like after years pass by. The first thing to brake is the false compitition factor. join sports.

[rschief]

I have mild schytsophrinia, and there are several different types. My self its a parinnoid type. But I think you suspect issues more than general stuff. Some simmularities I see in you are overanxious to help, parinoid ideas people do not see you, ect., immitating people. These are possable systoms and I hope you seek advice from a doctor, life could get simpliluar for you.

[3questions]

Maybe you don't realize when your bringing yourself down. But Are you sure it is only my self-confidence? I sort of changed my thought on that. I see at as a social habit I had when I was younger and I can't seem to get over it.. When I talk it is awkward because it is like I can't communicate properly, but that is the best I can get because I can actually stare at people's eyes knowing that it is me, and that I am not projecting images anymore. Than It becomes to point where I've changed so many times I become completely awkard, and I am not that aware of people around me. There face becomes blurry.

 

Sometimes I try to fall back on back than, so I can devolop from there. Or is this another crazy thought because of my lack of self-confidence? Does it make you think a lot? And are you sure this is why I am projecting images?

 

My most positive trait so far is at times when it is like there is a mirror in my face and I can finally look at them in the eyes and see there face. This should come natural but it is something new to me?

 

please, please, help me I want to get this over with.. it has been such a cycle. Rschief tells me to make goals and join sports, but how can I if I can't even see myself like a mirror and see others normally. Is this just negative thoughts that I am not aware about?

[321]

i dont know if anybody can help me but how can you tell if you like someone because i had a girlfriend and somethings happend which ill tell if you ask and she told me to breakup with her so i can get my head clear she is very understanding so the hole time i thought abought it i kept fighting myself and i ended up breaking up with her which is stupid of me i know but im lost right now with my feelings i cant tell if i like her the same theres a part of me telling me dont give up you know you like her and then there is another part telling me to give up i dont know what to do i want to be with her but all that stuff is going through my head and i dont know what to do its really confusing me and i just want some help because finding somebody like her is hard and i dont want to mess that up i just want to know how do you know you like someone and i would like some advice please can someone help