Tired-but Very Content-update

[SmoochieFace]

I don't think he's insecure. Alpha is an essential part of the Shack. He forces everyone to look at situations from another perspective, which may be extreme at times, but there really are some men out there that think like him. I think much of what you read as "badass" is some downright funny sarcasm, enough to make ME laugh. It wouldn't be the same around here without him.

 

 

Oh, I am fully aware that there are men out there who think like him. I also am aware that I am not one of them and I am happy to say so.

 

Sorry, but his brand of humour doesn't resonate with me. I know his perspective and I disagree with it. People are not expendable commodities to me.

 

You may think he is however I don't. We all have our opinions.

[basscatcher]

I don't think he's insecure. Alpha is an essential part of the Shack. He forces everyone to look at situations from another perspective, which may be extreme at times, but there really are some men out there that think like him. I think much of what you read as "badass" is some downright funny sarcasm, enough to make ME laugh. It wouldn't be the same around here without him.

 

I completely agree. I understand his view points often. I know where he is coming from but that doesnt mean I accept his beliefs for my own life.. He is a reality check. I enjoy his badgering..

 

Alpha men usually are sarcastic with an overwhelming sense of humor and its sometimes hard to tell if he is seroius of full of shyt..

 

NO offense to anyone but Alpha's posts where one of the very first ones I followed.. RP, A_C, and a few others stood out also. They are direct and outspoken in their thoughts and beliefs.. They are strong on their feet. They also answer with maturity and honesty I believe most of the time.

 

They carry a confidence about themselves.

[Hot Coco]

Nice Post Hot Coco..

 

Basically what it really comes down to is vodoo.. Every relationship is different..

 

Even though in the end of them we see they really follow a pattern... That doesn't mean we shouldn't try in the first place

 

Thans, Art!

 

And yes, I agree with what you said. For the most part there IS a pattern but the time frame can vary.

[brashgal]

Oh, I am fully aware that there are men out there who think like him. I also am aware that I am not one of them and I am happy to say so.

 

Sorry, but his brand of humour doesn't resonate with me. I know his perspective and I disagree with it. People are not expendable commodities to me.

 

You may think he is however I don't. We all have our opinions.

 

Give it a rest Smoochie - we know where you stand.

[SmoochieFace]

Oh, I am fully aware that there are men out there who think like him. I also am aware that I am not one of them and I am happy to say so.

 

Sorry, but his brand of humour doesn't resonate with me. I know his perspective and I disagree with it. People are not expendable commodities to me.

 

You may think he is however I don't. We all have our opinions.

 

Give it a rest Smoochie - we know where you stand.

 

Yep, and it isn't valued. Alpha's is more *popular*.

 

I'm outta here. Adios!

[Art_Critic]

Yep, and it isn't valued. Alpha's is more *popular*.

 

I'm outta here. Adios!

 

Your missing the posting difference between you and Alpha..

 

While Alpha has a unique opinion he never bashes or insults another poster..

 

You have attacked Alpha personally on LS and that I think is the reason that people are tiring of your method of posting..

 

I personally like to see someone take on Alpha...It is Entertaining.. but in a debate not in a derogatory manner..

 

We love your posts SF.. just tone 'em back a little..

[basscatcher]

Yep, and it isn't valued. Alpha's is more *popular*.

 

I'm outta here. Adios!

 

hun--popularity shouldnt be whats important.. Your standards will bring you happiness one day if not already.

 

Alpha will continue his conquests and always have that unsettling feeling deep within him he is trying to kill off with quick fixes. He will constantly have to reinvent himself so his game isn't caught on by women ..

 

don't you think that would get exhausting...

 

Alpha gets alot of attacks. He is always battling about his positions.

 

I think you probably have a more content life. Please be who you are. this is no popularity contest.

[basscatcher]

I like this thread today... I love all the feedback, opinions, and ideas.. It stimulated my mind..

 

Thank you everyone for your input. It was awesome...

But I am still tired --but very content..

 

I think there was lots of logic, analyzation and psychology brought up. Just the kind of stuff I feed off of.. {giggles}

[Hot Coco]

Yep, and it isn't valued. Alpha's is more *popular*.

 

I'm outta here. Adios!

 

I value it! Don't let them run you off. I think it's very important to see the attitudes of two such diverse male viewpoints. It's very valuable. It will show others what the mindset of a real guy is and what the mindset of a player looks like.

 

I really hope you don't leave...besides, Alpha will say you're being a wimp!

[noclobber]

hey padam,

 

Wish you a Happy Birthday!!

 

wow, u definitely sound happy i think u r happy on all levels -> emotional, physical, biological, ... whatever

 

great!! enjoy the good times, every second of it... i know that deep down u have the "what if" feeling but quell it and just focus on having a blast..

 

this has become a special b'day for u... looks like its a precursor for many more wonderful b'days in the future

 

good luck! keep us posted

[Hot Coco]

How was your birthday dinner with Mr. L?

[Mz. Pixie]

A nice guy might be in a relationship with a nutty woman for a variety of reasons.

 

My husband dated a girl before me and he put alot of time into the relationship. She used him and borrowed money from him that she had no intention of paying him back but he felt like he was "helping her" I asked him in the beginning what did that say about him?? He said, How about that I try everything to work it out with someone I care about before I throw in the towel?

 

Doesn't mean he's a bad guy.

[Hot Coco]

A nice guy might be in a relationship with a nutty woman for a variety of reasons.

 

My husband dated a girl before me and he put alot of time into the relationship. She used him and borrowed money from him that she had no intention of paying him back but he felt like he was "helping her" I asked him in the beginning what did that say about him?? He said, How about that I try everything to work it out with someone I care about before I throw in the towel?

 

Doesn't mean he's a bad guy.

 

I absolutely agree with you. And besides who here would want to be judged by OUR past choices in a SO? YIKES! Scary thought:eek:

[basscatcher]

How was your birthday dinner with Mr. L?

 

I had the best birthday in my life.. I can't remember the last time it was this wonderful. 37 is a lucky number for me!!

 

We met at my gf apt (it's half way for us). I ran home and picked up my son (Mr. L told me to invite him. He said my son must spend my bday with me.) and headed to my gfs. Mr. L met us there at 6:30 and we headed for Bennigans (my choice). Upon jumping DOWN out of his truck in a long skirt with a very high slit up the side. My skirt stuck to the seat of the truck. I almost let out a hoot because I could feel the cool air on my derear. I don't think he seen that!!

 

He presented me with ANOTHER gift. (He dragged me out shopping on Saturday and bought me 3 pairs of low rise jeans, 3 sweaters and a shirt for my birthday; now he got me another gift. He said I deserved more. It was a bottle of my favorite cologne (Beautiful by Este Lauder).. I couldn't believe it.. This man fills my eyes with tears of joy. Never in my life have I ever felt this much joy because of what a man has done for me. NO man has ever done for me what Mr. L has.. I've never been spoiled like this..

 

After we ate we dropped my son off at home because he had to study for tests and Mr. L and I went back to my gf apt to finish watching the MN Wild Hockey game.. He gave me a wonderful neck rub while watching the game and he played with my hair.. I wanted to fall asleep right there in him arms...

 

Tonight he wants me to come over and hang out with him and his kids. He wanted to ditch the kids for awhiile but I told him NO.. He cant bail on his kids when he has them to spend alone time with me. His kids will grow resentment. He understood once I explained it to him..

 

I come from a broken home, so I know what children think and feel. Mr. L does not come from a broken home. His family was intact so I have the advantage to understanding his kids feelings about daddy dating and about jealousy and feeling neglected.. It is better for me to interact with him and his kids then to run off with him and leave his kids home. I will not abandon his kids. He and I have plenty of time to spend together alone. He only has his children for a certain period of time so he needs to take advantage of that. So that is whats most likey whats going to happen tonight. I am going to grab my beadie babies stuff and make key chains with his kids.. That will be fun..

 

My birthday was the BEST...

[basscatcher]

A nice guy might be in a relationship with a nutty woman for a variety of reasons.

 

I asked him about this and he said he didn't know why he stayed involved with her. He said his family and friends, and her friends couildnt understand why he stayed with her..

 

The logical side of me thinks this:

 

1. He was married for 13 years and wasn't ready to commit again subconsiously so he was involved with someone who couldn't commit and was so damn independant that he was able to have the space he needed and he still could have someone in his life for companionship.

 

or

 

2. (like Alpha) His ego was feed because the women was drooled over by all guys in the bar and tried to hook up with her constantly. He had the trophy woman. He said she resembles Cher* she is tall, nicely built, dressed very very provocative, she has a hard tough attitude, outspoken.

 

Yet, no matter what she was or why he stayed with her off and on for 3 years the fact remains. She is extremely moody, cold, sick a lot, she treated him like shyt, she would ruin plans with him and the kids because SHE didn't feel like doing what they had planned, she didn't celebrate holidays or get together with loved ones, she spends a lot of money--she would rather go shopping then get together with family or friends for Thanksgiving or Christmas. She thinks about herself.

 

I personally think it was a combo of both reasons why he was involved with her. He said he is sick of being treated badly and he doesn't want the lack of stability anymore.. He doesn't want the games.

A person can handle being treated like a doormat only for so long before you say enough is enough.

[FataMorgana]

go girl! glad things are working out for you!

 

sounds like you had a great day.... and btw....happy birthday!

 

keep up up to date, nice thread to read.

[SmoochieFace]

I value it! Don't let them run you off. I think it's very important to see the attitudes of two such diverse male viewpoints. It's very valuable. It will show others what the mindset of a real guy is and what the mindset of a player looks like.

 

I really hope you don't leave...besides, Alpha will say you're being a wimp!

 

 

Oh please! Like I REALLY give a *beep* what Alpha thinks of me personally... god.

 

I still think that the *playuh* mindset is indeed more *fascinating* to women and deep down that is what they really want. They believe that only the *playuhs* are cool, exciting, brilliant in bed, etc. Why the assumption that guys who aren't *playuhs* are automatically deemed boring, dull, clueless in bed, etc.? Another *beep* stereotype propagated by popular culture, perhaps?

[basscatcher]

Oh please! Like I REALLY give a *beep* what Alpha thinks of me personally... god.

 

I still think that the *playuh* mindset is indeed more *fascinating* to women and deep down that is what they really want. They believe that only the *playuhs* are cool, exciting, brilliant in bed, etc. Why the assumption that guys who aren't *playuhs* are automatically deemed boring, dull, clueless in bed, etc.? Another *beep* stereotype propagated by popular culture, perhaps?

 

Women who have not grown up enough and haven't been degraded enough are attracted to the players..

When a woman gets to know herself she won't tolerate such treatment. When a woman learns her value and learns to respect herself in turn she will seek a man who can respect her.

If a woman wants to be involved with a player type of man, over a decent, loving, caring, balanced good man, why would you want her?

Wouldn't you want to be with a woman who is also decent, loving, caring and balanced.

The appeal of a player is about the rush (feeling like a kid again with a new toy). It is also about the experience and learning of life.

I believe everyone goes through a experimental stage in some way, some how, in their lives..

I think MOST women go through this in their 20s by the time they get near or in her 30s she has had life experiences and she knows herself and her wants much better and it will make her a better person. Provided she grows up and moves forward and doesn't get addicted to the rush of all the adreniline that is pumped during the party, dating, fast lane lifestyle..

 

Being involved with a player for me was about gaining experience. I didn't think of any long term relationship with potential marriage in mind. I wanted the experience with that man. I wanted to watch him put on his ego, boast, brag, show his charm, I wanted to see just what he would do to get what he wanted from me. I played it like a game also. I did this when I was a teenager. I allowed the player to boost my ego and to shower me with attention. It conditioned me so I knew what I liked and didn't like, it helped me figure out what I was looking for in a partner. I got to taste and experience different things so I could know myself better.

 

S.F. if a woman is only attracted to players then realize she isn't mature enough and hasn't grown up enough to be able to commit and be the woman you need and want..

 

Do you understand what I am trying to say?

Good women who are stable and ready to invest themselves are few; yet once you find one you will know if she is compatable for you.

I am 37 years old and am still in search for that man who is balanced and ready like me.

(maybe I have found him in Mr. L; maybe I havent. But I won't give up.. I will NEVER give up. I hope my faith and keep my hope strong.)

[Mz. Pixie]

Sometimes it also takes a man getting away from someone to see things clearly. That's happened to all of us at one time or another.

 

My H is a conflict avoider as well. He's working on this after therapy and such but he tends to put things he feels as issues on the backburner.

 

For instance, his parents had given his exwife a down payment on a car after she had the grandson. They were still married at the time. They negotiated for the car and she then went and signed the paperwork on her own. Later when he saw the paperwork he saw that she had put $1,000 less down on the auto than his parents gave them. He asked her about it but she blew him off. Rather than get all pissed and raise hell about it he let it slide.

 

I would never let $1,000.00 missing slide. He just said it wasn't worth arguing over.

 

I have always found that men will take alot of crap off a beautiful woman most of the time. Until they get fed up.

[SmoochieFace]

Do you understand what I am trying to say?

 

 

Yeah, I understand. I also understand why I was passed up consistently by women when I was in my teens and twenties. I simply wasn't *good enough* for them... I missed out and the *cool* guys won in the end.

 

I dunno... I guess I am quite bitter over the fact that these women didn't want to have *fun* with me.

[basscatcher]

Yeah, I understand. I also understand why I was passed up consistently by women when I was in my teens and twenties. I simply wasn't *good enough* for them... I missed out and the *cool* guys won in the end.

 

I dunno... I guess I am quite bitter over the fact that these women didn't want to have *fun* with me.

 

Frankly, to tell you the truth. Most men want the 'POPULAR" girl and when they get her they are not happy..

Why would you want to be with a woman who is shallow.. Believe me your boat will come in and you will find much more peace and happiness then those so called "cool" guys will. Also the woman who will come alone will be better then the one you thought "would" be great..

 

Dont sell yourself short. I tend to think that God saves the best for last and you will still be shiney, sweet and less damaged then others.. The more experience the more baggage of shyt you have to deal with..

The more knowledge one has the more confusing things can be too. Less is often best because you stay more pure and simple.. Don't rush yourself.. Take care of yourself first, always be available and open to encounters, find peace and happiness in yourself first and God will provide you with experiences when he knows you are ready.. You need to have faith and not beat yourself up.. You need to fight off the green monster.. It is not healthy and the bitterness you carry women can smell a mile away and if they do get close you will send them running because they don't want to be mommy and kiss your wounds.

[Hot Coco]

Oh please! Like I REALLY give a *beep* what Alpha thinks of me personally... god.

 

I still think that the *playuh* mindset is indeed more *fascinating* to women and deep down that is what they really want. They believe that only the *playuhs* are cool, exciting, brilliant in bed, etc. Why the assumption that guys who aren't *playuhs* are automatically deemed boring, dull, clueless in bed, etc.? Another *beep* stereotype propagated by popular culture, perhaps?

 

Why don't you say more fascinating to *some* women...not to ALL.

[SmoochieFace]

Frankly, to tell you the truth. Most men want the 'POPULAR" girl and when they get her they are not happy..

Why would you want to be with a woman who is shallow.. Believe me your boat will come in and you will find much more peace and happiness then those so called "cool" guys will. Also the woman who will come alone will be better then the one you thought "would" be great..

 

Dont sell yourself short. I tend to think that God saves the best for last and you will still be shiney, sweet and less damaged then others.. The more experience the more baggage of shyt you have to deal with..

The more knowledge one has the more confusing things can be too. Less is often best because you stay more pure and simple.. Don't rush yourself.. Take care of yourself first, always be available and open to encounters, find peace and happiness in yourself first and God will provide you with experiences when he knows you are ready.. You need to have faith and not beat yourself up.. You need to fight off the green monster.. It is not healthy and the bitterness you carry women can smell a mile away and if they do get close you will send them running because they don't want to be mommy and kiss your wounds.

 

 

I am with someone now (even though it's an LDR) so I'm not looking. Nevertheless I still harbour some bitterness at what was never had.

[SmoochieFace]

Why don't you say more fascinating to *some* women...not to ALL.

 

 

So you're telling me that there are actually women who do NOT go through the *bad boy* phase? If that is the case then that is something new to me.

 

I have always believed that ALL women go through a phase in which they only want *jerks* - that's why *decent* guys like me get no play when they are in their teens and 20s. That's why I quit approaching women way back in my teen years. It was a waste of time cuz I knew that I would have lost so what was the point...

[Art_Critic]

I have always believed that ALL women go through a phase in which they only want *jerks* - that's why *decent* guys like me get no play when they are in their teens and 20s. That's why I quit approaching women way back in my teen years. It was a waste of time cuz I knew that I would have lost so what was the point...

SF.. It sounds to me that you didn't have any Game.. Nice guys can have the pick of the litter if they have game.. You have to be offering something other than a pocket protector.

 

I'm a nice guy.. and had women thru my 20's-30's without any problems.. But I had game..

There are tons of women looking for guys like you ..

Not all hot women go for the bad boy.. You just have to be able to compete in the same arena