I DISLIKE T.V.'S OTHER WOMAN - SHE IS SELFISH...I'm a hypocrite!!

[nosybear819]

Do any of y'all watch Grey's Anatomy? I looooove that show! It's pretty interesting to watch it always keeps my attention. But I really really got interested in it when that whole OW/MM thing developed between Grey and Dr. Sheperd -hope y'all know what I'm talking about.

 

Anyway the whole time I'm watching it I'm rooting for the relationship with the W to prosper instead of with the OW - which I think is totally backwards since I was an OW - shouldn't I be rooting for my own team? Anyway...

 

So last night's episode we finally got to see if he was gonna sign the divorce papers and choose Grey or not sign them and choose his W. I was hoping the W all the way. In the end of course he chose the W which made me so happy I was thinking "that's right boy be with your W! You made the right choice!"

 

When they cut to the scene in the elevator where he was crying I felt so bad for him about the choice he had to make - even though he brought it on himself. I cried at the end of the episode because it really hit home.

 

When my MM decided that we oughta stop seeing each other it was bittersweet. I was happy that he wanted to be with his W. I was sad that it was over and that I am the source for the pain he feels/felt.

 

I guess while I was watching the show I re-lived those emotions. I dunno if I really had a point or a huge topic to write about just something I was thinking. Whenever I watch a movie or t.v. show involving OW/MM I always hate the OW and it's so weird that when I watch the situation I'm so against it yet I was doing the exact same thing. I wasn't made for this OW deal I guess. I have too much compassion for people. I should hate my MM for not chosing me but I want him to do the right thing and I want both of us to be able to carry on with our lives.

 

Ok! I'm rambling now but uh... y'all know what I mean right? I'm not the only one who feels this way - I can't be. I know y'all was out there watching Grey's Anatomy crying like a b*tch just like I was In fact I think I cried from last week's episode too. Wow - I'm too damn emotional

[sweetbrokensoul]

It's ok dawg-I'm feelin ya. It's ok to be emotional, and it's ok to feel that way. That's because deep down you know whats right and what you should be doing. Besides, you had your emotions played with too. He knew better than to pursue this relationship with you and take it this far and then turn around a COUPLE of times and try to end it.

 

Please learn from your experience and emotions and feelings right now and know you DESERVE so much better. YOU are beautiful, kind, so funny, warm, open-minded, and such a great friend. YOU are what counts - not him

[brashgal]

I guess this is why they say you should avoid dating men who are only separated - you never know what will happen.

 

When I saw him crying in the elevator I thought he was crying because of what he had to tell the fiance of the woman who died. Duh! I hadn't even tied it to his telling Grey he picked his wife.

 

Hang in there, it gets better over time...

[Lonestar]

When they cut to the scene in the elevator where he was crying I felt so bad for him about the choice he had to make - even though he brought it on himself. I cried at the end of the episode because it really hit home.

 

I was rooting for the wife too, but I actually like them both. I just thought it showed extreme loyalty when he said to Grey "she's my WIFE." He's forgiving her for cheating on him and trying to make it work.

 

As far as the elevator crying scene... he was crying because he just had to kill a woman to save another man. I don't think it had anything to do with his choice between women. He seemed comfortable with his decision.

 

Yes, great show. I kinda fell onto it by accident (left the channel on after Housewives), and have been watching for he past 3 weeks.

[nosybear819]

 

As far as the elevator crying scene... he was crying because he just had to kill a woman to save another man. I don't think it had anything to do with his choice between women.

 

 

I think they made it kinda tie in together that's why they made Grey seem so concerned about what happened to the girl (Bonnie), you know?

 

She kept asking "how do you decide?" Maybe my way of thinking is screwed but I looked at it as another way to view their situation. Because he had to decide which person lived or died and he had to decide the same about his relationships. I felt like Grey's strong emotions forBonnie came from her identifying with "the one the wasn't chosen" you see?

 

The part that got me besides the elevator scene was when he had to tell Bonnie's fiance that she had died. Remember Bonnie wanted him to tell the fiance something. I don't remember exactly what she said but something about if all she needed to live was love she would still be alive - something along those lines and then Dr. Sheperd teared up again.

 

I assumed he was tearing up because he was thinking the same about his relatioship with Grey. And then I teared up because I was thinking the same about the relationship I had with my MM.

 

Yeah - I watch too much t.v. and I need a life - I just realized that. I never thought I'd be one of those "soap opera" freaks but come Sunday night I'm all about watching Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy.

[Lonestar]

[quote=nosybear819

She kept asking "how do you decide?" Maybe my way of thinking is screwed but I looked at it as another way to view their situation. Because he had to decide which person lived or died and he had to decide the same about his relationships. I felt like Grey's strong emotions forBonnie came from her identifying with "the one the wasn't chosen" you see?

 

 

Yep. You're right. Didn't catch that before, but it makes total sense.

[fanou22]

The one episode I missed from the 2 seasons and he chose his wife?

 

Sorry to disagree with all of you but I was rooting for Dr. Grey. I liked her. She did not deserve to be lied to. He witheld the truth about his separation.

 

Reverse the situation, if he was the one who cheated, would you all have rooted for him?

I don't think so.

The wife did not really look remorseful for what she did. She even blamed it on him.

 

Anyway that is only my opinion

[nosybear819]

Oh! See I didn't know the W cheated I must've missed that episode. But anyway eye for an eye i guess. By the way Dr. Shepherd was cheating and I still don't dislike his character. He seems like a nice enough guy they don't make his character out to be an a**hole so I think that even if the roles were reversed I'd still be wanting the marriage to work.

 

So that's why they were seperated..oh...makes more sense now I was wondering why he hated her so much.

 

So back to real life stuff - Besides wanting to know what everyone thought about that episode I was kinda wondering do anymore OW out there find themselves "rooting for the wrong team" most of the time

 

Just curious to see how abnormal I am - thanx!

[newbby]

i dont watch this show, so i have no idea what you are talking about, but has it ever occured to you that the ow is always portrayed as a selfish and immature person by the media, whereas the ws is always portrayed as vulnerable?? i actually started a thread on this sort of thing ages ago, and i still believe it to be true.

[Owl]

Not sure I completely agree with you Newwby.

 

I think that most of the time, the OW is showed as selfish and immature...or conniving and evil. I think the OM is pretty much always shown as the latter.

 

I think that the MM is pretty much alway shown as conniving, selfish, and evil...and the MW is usually portrayed as either the poor helpless thing in a bad situation, or selfish, conniving, and evil.

 

And if it's a BH (betrayed husband) he's always either evil, controlling, and deserves what he gets, or he's a spineless crying whimp who deserves what he gets. And the BW is ALWAYS the helpless victim...or the thoroughly evil witch who deserves what she gets.

 

Now...reality is that everyone involved in an affair is hurt. No one walks away from an A of any kind gloating and happy. I've never actually met the evil OM/OW...normally they're as badly hurt as anyone else. I'm sure that they exist...but they're really rare. If they were totally evil, what would have attracted anyone to them in the first place? I HAVE seen the evil MM occasionally...there are some people who are just totally self-centered and will gladly do whatever they want for self indulgence. But again, most of the time, the same thing applies...unless that person is a consumate actor, it's rare that you find someone who is completely evil and conniving in this kind of situation...since they'd never attract anyone anyway.

 

As far as the BH/BW....I know tons of them. There are a few that have done quite a bit to contribute to the bad shape of the marriage...but none of them that I've met so far have ever deserved what happened to them.

 

I've said it before...NO ONE walks away from an affair unharmed. No one ends up unscarred by it.

 

TV is fantasy...many of us would love to villianize the person we're 'up against'...be that the OP, MS, or BS. Reality is something different...no one really wants to watch the betrayed husband sitting in the living room at 2AM crying his eyes out...no one wants to realize that the OP was just as hurt as anyone else. Nobody REALLY wants to sit and watch the MM/MW actually come to grips with the damage they've done to the people around them...

 

...that's why you see what you do on TV.