slubberdegullion Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 I have a bit of a reputation amongst friends (undeserved) of being a bit of a counsellor and relationship healer. I know, I know, it doesn't make any sense to me either, but I digress... Anyway, I got the following from a friend of mine who lives out of town, and before I send him any comments, I thought it may be appropriate for LSers to have a go. Here's an edited copy of the email: Thing is that there's this babe who lives a few doors away that is really cute. She's a single mum with a little girl, and I see her very often as I come and go. We've chatted often enough, but she's always telling me what a jerk her ex is. She just hates men, apparently, because of the way this guy treated her when she was married and still treats her bad even though they're separated (not divorced yet). I once brought up the topic of taking her out to dinner or something, but she said basically that she's not interested in a relationship at all, and may never be. What should I do? I'm a good guy, I'm not like her ex. So, yonder LoveShackers, what advice should I give this fellow?
johan Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 There are other women available who wouldn't take so much energy. Tell him to forget the idea of dating her. Just be cool with her, and if she's interested, she'll come to him.
Topper Posted October 31, 2005 Posted October 31, 2005 I Have been there. The best he can do is just show her he is a good guy. Do things for her like if she is struggling with money buy some groceries. Wash you car then say hey yours looks dirty let me wash yours as well. It's a big wall to over come and she will need lots of time. If she isn't ready then she isn't ready. Nothing you can do about that. Be the good guy you are and be a friend. Maybe she will open up to having a relationship. If it is so soon after her marriage ended you may just be the transition man
glittergurl Posted October 31, 2005 Posted October 31, 2005 He shouldn't push his foot into her door, if you know what I mean. Just leave her alone; she's got her little girl to take care of, and probably has a lot more to worry about right now (especially if she's about to divorce) than date men who she might never get into a long term relationship with anyway. She's probably one of the few women out there who do have their priorities straight. Good for her! Tell your friend to look for an easier catch.
Neptune Posted October 31, 2005 Posted October 31, 2005 At times it could be more of a legality issue than emotional. Some places if you are separated you have to be careful not to be with another man/woman. Particularly when children are involved.
Yamaha Posted October 31, 2005 Posted October 31, 2005 There are other women available who wouldn't take so much energy. Tell him to forget the idea of dating her. Just be cool with her, and if she's interested, she'll come to him. This is the way to play it. With a women down on men if he pushes at all she will bolt. Tell him not to get his hopes up and continue dating others. It will take time for her to come around, if at all, and he might be tired and moved on by that time.
johan Posted October 31, 2005 Posted October 31, 2005 Date a woman like that and you date a trainload of baggage. He should thank her for the warning.
Recommended Posts