kinziepooh Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 I'm a single mom, dating this guy now for a year and a half. I've been by him for the illness and recent death of his father due to cancer. I'm young and have two beautiful daughters, we both said from the beginning that we would have no expectations of marrige as i was recently divorced and he said that being raised to "start from scratch" couldn't marry me. I was just looking for a good time and i knew that in the back of my mind that it was good because no matter what it wouldn't go anywhere. But we keep doing this dating tango. We move closer then i pushed away, we move closer then he pushes away. He wants to date exclusive, then he can't date me at all, but still wants friends and to talk and of course benefits, i refuse, he again wants to date and then furthermore gives me a semi commitment, the actual title of "girlfriend", I have met all his friends and employees, they all know me as his girlfriend, and when he dissapoints me or does something that is "wrong" i've been trying to express myself and he makes it right, he starts doing the right thing. Is he changing his mind about wanting to be with me, is he falling for me? Is it just guilt? Or is it the death of his father causing him to want to be close to someone again (they were tight)???? Help me know what's going on, because I'm starting to develope unwanted emotions and I need to get out if it's not going to go anywhere before I get hurt again.
glittergurl Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 Why do you guys make it so complicated? Doesn't sound like fun.
Author kinziepooh Posted October 30, 2005 Author Posted October 30, 2005 do you have adivse of just a comment?
curiousnycgirl Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 I doubt anyone here can credibly give you the correct answer to the questions you have wisely asked. I would wonder if your friend can even answer them right now - as his emotions are probably too messed up at the moment. I suggest you give him time, be his friend, etc and when the time is right, have this conversation with him. Keep in mind, you need to know where you would like this to go as well - it's not only up to him. You get a vote too!
glittergurl Posted October 31, 2005 Posted October 31, 2005 Well, kinziepooh, you can't expect to have a relationship with someone without any feelings involved, ever. He's human, you're human, and the "let's only date without any kind of commitment" is not going to work when at least one of two genuinly cares. You have to make up your mind whether you want this man in your life or not. The "I don't want to get hurt again" excuse is no way to live happily.
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