Rodeogirl Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 Fk him this is my damn life and I am taking charge of what happens with it!!! I am a beautiful woman with a whole lot of options I'm healthy in great shape my future is bright and I still have a lot of girlfriends who are very supportive and understanding thank go they put up with listening to my shyt!!!! At the end of the day I am happy I did go through this, yes it was 2 years of my life by gawd damnit all I really wanted was attention and to feel beautiful, and the reason I picked him is clear he was a public fihure with alot of power and I got caught up mentally in thinking I was "important to him". The first week is over, and you gus have no idea how powerful I feel inside, it's great! All I think I needed for 2 years was for him to finally show me or tell me in a point blank way that he didnt give a damn as much as I did and now since I know I feel relieved that this game has ended, it hurt like hell but damnit I am able to go on and the guessing game is sooooooo over and that weight is lifted off of my shoulder. Again this is my damn life I am in control not some passed around azz piece of shyt !!!
Sami_D Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 Hmm... argh... can I read this in a more sympathetic way than... you tried to offer yourself as a piece of ass and it didn't work out? Just tentatively putting it out there as a suggestion, and maybe I'm wrong but... isn't this how it was? And if it wasn't.. then how was it, and why are you angry?
Author Rodeogirl Posted October 30, 2005 Author Posted October 30, 2005 I am not sure what you mean by that but the both of us are married and the both of us seeked comfort with eachother and shared intimate moments we used eachother for different reasons, over 2 years my feelings grew and his apparently did not. I am angry because I didn't know sooner how he felt. So what is your goal here to make me feel bad by using such harsh words like " piece of ass"?? Grow up!
Hot Coco Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 I am not sure what you mean by that but the both of us are married and the both of us seeked comfort with eachother and shared intimate moments we used eachother for different reasons, over 2 years my feelings grew and his apparently did not. I am angry because I didn't know sooner how he felt. So what is your goal here to make me feel bad by using such harsh words like " piece of ass"?? Grow up! I don't want to speak to Sami (and I'm not exactly sure what she's saying here either) but I'll give it a stab. I think she's saying that surely you were more than a piece of ass. I think she's asking how it really was in those 2 years...that it couldn't have been just 2 years of you just being a piece of ass. That's what I THINK she was saying. As for me, I don't really have anything to say about it other than, it's good that you're angry. I think acceptance comes next.
Sami_D Posted October 31, 2005 Posted October 31, 2005 So what is your goal here to make me feel bad by using such harsh words like " piece of ass"?? My goal was to ask you... is that how you felt/feel? Used in that way? It was a question, not a statement.
Author Rodeogirl Posted October 31, 2005 Author Posted October 31, 2005 I have not held back on what I feel like regarding this matter, so if I feel/felt like a piece of azz I would have stated that. Now that I look back at the last sentence in my first reply I am seeing that maybe you thought I was referring to myself , and I wasn't I was talking about the OM. Got that?
Sami_D Posted October 31, 2005 Posted October 31, 2005 Now that I look back at the last sentence in my first reply I am seeing that maybe you thought I was referring to myself , and I wasn't I was talking about the OM. Got that? Well yes, I thought you meant YOU, not him. Which is why I asked for clarification.
Author Rodeogirl Posted October 31, 2005 Author Posted October 31, 2005 oh ok. I just reread that email i sent him and i feel like a dam fool sending him that mess....ugh...what a basket case I was. I wonder what he thought immediately after reading that Although i am not going to contact him anymore, how do I show my face again after sending that...how do I act in front of him...I'm so nervous to see him again...this sucks! How do you come back from making a fool out of yourself.
Hot Coco Posted October 31, 2005 Posted October 31, 2005 oh ok. I just reread that email i sent him and i feel like a dam fool sending him that mess....ugh...what a basket case I was. I wonder what he thought immediately after reading that Although i am not going to contact him anymore, how do I show my face again after sending that...how do I act in front of him...I'm so nervous to see him again...this sucks! How do you come back from making a fool out of yourself. I'd act perfect normal. Hold your head high and pretend you never sent it. I mean HE'S pretending you never sent it, right? So it should be easy.
Author Rodeogirl Posted October 31, 2005 Author Posted October 31, 2005 Yes he is pretending it was never sent. I am going to get through this first week if its the last thing i do. This is going to be the first time I have been this long without having some contact the most has been 3 days and it's been 5 now I dont want to be like ths over a man.This is one of my bad days, you guys.I was all strong yesterday and today I just wanna sleep and cry.
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