konfuzd Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 I've posted in different threads about my problems as they have been occuring, but haven't really got anywhere... Maybe combining into one will help... I originally came onto LS after breaking up with my bf... at first my whole focus was how to get him back, I was miserable. All the advice I got from here was to maintain NC, so I followed the advice. The first time I went out solo after the break up, I ended up meeting someone else. Things started going far better than I could have hoped. He called me 3 nights consecutively after our first date, we'd talk on the phone for hours, and every time we'd go out, everything seemed perfect. Nothing physical has happened, we have just been taking things slow, as he knows about the recent break up, and neither of us wants to rush into things with a stranger. Now, this 'relationship' has taken the typical turn where the phone calls have become less frequent. I try to make plans with him, and he always gets excited and makes comments like, "we definately need to hang out, it's been way too long!", or I'll leave a text message asking him to come over and he'll reply, "that sounds great!"... but then he doesn't bother showing up nor calling. I know he has some issues in his life... he was recently laid off, and is living in a dingy basement suite, while I am very successful in my career and own my own place. He's 34, and I'm 24, so I know that is one of the reason's he's holding back. (I personally see it as a positive thing for him, as I am not going to be dependant on him, we share the expenses on most of our dates, plus I'm prime sugar momma material male ego thing, I guess) Last week, I ended up running into the ex at a concert. I had gone solo, so he asked if I'd like to hang out with him and his friends. I told him I would as long as he knew it was just as friends. He was ok with that, so we had a great night together. At the end of the night, he walked me to my car, and pretty much begged me to take him back. I was honest, told him I'd been spending time with someone new, and I just couldn't take him back right now. I'd much rather be with guy #2. I'm far more physically attracted to him, we seem to have much more to talk about, and generally I think we're a better match. I also have a really great connection with the ex. We have a lot in common, have a great physical chemistry, and he always lets me know where I stand with him, plus, I've already reached a comfort level with him. I don't want to pressure guy #2 into giving me a direct answer as to where things are going, as we made the agreement that we were just going to date and get to know eachother. I also don't want to let the ex slip away if things aren't going anywhere with guy #2, I don't want to end up empty handed. So questions for you now: Is guy #2 just stringing me along? Should I just assume that he's not really that interested, (if so, why give the impression he's excited to be with me?) should I give him time to sort out his personal life? Will his male ego stand in the way of what could be a great relationship? Or should I just let them both go in pursuit of guy #3
exotic_virgin Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 He sounds like a reall ass... The guy has no clue... If a guy is interested he makes time... Sorry to say...
Author konfuzd Posted October 31, 2005 Author Posted October 31, 2005 Maybe the guys might have some input. Are you intimidated by a woman who is more financially secure, and more established than you? Do you think the age difference is a factor? We have a lot in common. We are both very passionate about music and sports. We share a very similar sense of humor. Our family values are very similar, and never seem to run out of things to talk about. We both went to college in the same field (although he chose not to pursue a career in the field). Both of us have had a very tough time meeting other people who are so similar in these areas. Everything was going so well until he lost his job. I want to be there to support him, but I understand it must be difficult seeing how happy I am in my career. I really don't want him to feel insecure, as I adore him for his personality, and I'm not after him for his money or a status symbol, I just authentically enjoy his company. Is it possible for him to put aside his male ego, or am I holding onto false hope???
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