Advice needed badly!!

[UKguy123]

Hi Guys just wanted to say to start with what a nice and friendly forum Didn’t think some where like this would exist on the net. I am after some advice on a situation I am in if you guys would like to help.

 

I met a girl on holiday a few weeks back. We spent the last few days of our holiday together and it was really great. I was really happy to have met her and she me and we really clicked, it felt really special. I am a little more reserved with my feelings due to past experiences but safe to say she let me know how much she liked me to the point that I really believed her. I consider myself a good judge of character.

 

She lives about 3.5 hours away from me here in the UK. We came back from holiday and as soon as she landed she got in contact via SMS. We remained in contact like this and with a few phone calls for the next 2 weeks. I was away working for this time and as soon as I returned she came and visited me and we spent the evening and next morning together. During the evening she started conversations with me about wanting to start a relationship, she also told me how special everything felt with me and we also talked about our long term wishes. Both of us wanted to start a family settle down etc.

 

We spent the next morning together and I was really happy. I told her jokingly in a sweet way that I couldn’t wait till the next time I saw her (3 weeks as she invited me up). I told her that I thought she was completely gorgeous and was really smitten.

 

She left and I and I waited till the next day to contact her. I sent her an SMS message saying it was great to see her along with a few snippets of what I had been up to since we met. No reply. She is very busy at work and works extremely long hours, she is also a little stressed by work but is very dedicated to it. I thought she must just be busy.

 

I waited a few more days and decided to call her. Her phone was off during the day so I assumed she was at work. I left her a sweet message saying that it would be great to hear from her and again a few more snippets of what was happening in my life.

 

A few days later she rang me. I wasn’t near my phone and was busy working, so I sent her a message when I realised saying that I was sorry I missed her call and that I would ring her after the weekend.

 

I called her after the weekend and again got her answer phone. I left her a message saying that I had a great weekend and that I would really like her to let me know how she was doing. No response.

 

The next night I was having trouble sleeping due to thinking this over and over. So I thought I would SMS her and ask what was happening, I’m a bit insecure (not too much) due to my last serious relationship.

 

So I messaged her telling her I was awake thinking about everything and that it felt a little odd that I hadn’t heard from her over the last week and a half. I said that I didn’t have her down as someone that would blank me (she’s not that kind of person) and that I couldn’t help think something might be up and that if she wanted to talk to me that I’m a good listener. I also said that I would understand if she was having second thoughts about the distance thing and that if this thing between us was to go forward I owed it to her to tell her how I felt honestly.

 

She SMS’ed me the next morning saying she had been so busy with work and that I was right there was something up. She didn’t feel like she was in the right space for a relationship as her work took up such a massive part of her life and that this wouldn’t give me what I wanted. She told me she thought I was amazing and that she wished she was at a different stage of her life. She also said that she hoped we would remain in contact.

 

I replied and told her I understood. I then said that I didn’t think we really knew each other well enough to know exactly what we both wanted. I told her I thought she was amazing also and that meeting people like her simply doesn’t happen to me very often. I told it had been a long time since I had liked someone so much. I said that I had never had a long distance relationship but I was willing to give it a shot and that I understood about her work as I was also a busy person. I said all she had to do was stay in touch. I asked her to let me know how she felt about this and that if she still felt the same that everything would be cool.

 

I haven’t heard from her since its been about 5 days. For a couple days I was pretty upset. I’m just not sure what to do next. She told me she hasn’t had many relationships before and I really like her so much. I don’t want to prompt her for a reply in fear of being to pushing her away. Ultimately I am totally fine if we just remain friends. Bit of an old hippy at heart and it really is a case of whatever will be will be.

 

Any advice would be very gratefully received.

 

Thank you

[Art_Critic]

Sorry that you are going thru this.. And Welcome to LS

 

When a woman says that she is not in the right space for a relationship .. Then that means exactly that..

You have to believe her words.. She is not playing hard to get..

 

To me.. It sounds like she met another guy and is giving him a go of it instead of you..

 

you need to let her go and live like she never existed

[UKguy123]

Hey Art thanks for the reply and the welcome. I believe she is not in the right space and thats cool. I just kinda wished she could have re assured me of that. As for the other guy thing I am not so sure she is very in-experienced and really not that type. Let her go no problem, never existed, she did exist and she is a great person...... i would at least like a friendship.

[Steph21]

I say you should wait a few weeks and not call her or anything and then maybe she'll start to miss you. If not, and she's still not responsive enough, then it's probably not worth the effort anyway. It's a shame that something so simple like physical distance can keep two people who really connect apart. However, it can also be used as a convenient excuse for one of the people if he/she is having second thoughts anyway, aside from the distance issue.

[UKguy123]

thanks steph thats great advice ;]