Feelingdown Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 I've been dating this guy for about a month, but we've been having lots of problems almost starting the 2nd week of our relationship. We seem to share completely different value and point of view in a relationship. We do both take relationship very seriously and not just "for fun" as per say, however, we've have like at least 5 arguments about things! He thinks that a girlfriend should cook and do things for him, but I was never asked in my past relationship to do things, as in an expectation, especially not in the first month of the relationship, is that normal? He seems to think that it's almost like a trade in a relationship, whereas, I have to do something for him in order to get him to do something for me. At times he's ok, when he's not very uptight and rigid about everything. We argue over about money, about respect, because he always use sarcasm, always say things as in he's joking but I don't find it funny but insulting. I've told him a numerous times but nothing seems to change. Last week, I did something I shouldn't have, I went out with a new friend (male) without telling him, because I was only excited to find new friends in this area (I just moved here few months ago and I don't have many friends, and I'm a very people person), and when he phone me while I was having dinner with my friend, I also did another stupid thing for not telling him right away who i was with becuz later on he got really upset at me, saying that, why didn't I tell him right away who I was with (only becuz I felt awkward when I'm with a new friend and my bf questioning me who, name, and why am I out with him), I have ABSOLUTELY no intention of cheating or even a tiny bit interest in this other guy (for I have many guys friends where I was from). He saw that as "not telling is hiding, not telling is lying", and also he was so convinced that I went out on a "date" with another guy but it was nothing like a date, the other guy even knew i have a boyfriend and offer to drive me home early so i can meet with my bf soon, and I even told him that. But he wouldnt' believe me, he said that I totally ruin his trust on me, and he repeatedly say "why? why did you do that?", I felt horrible, he said all his friends said he should get rid of me, he said it's an unspoken agreement between us! But I had no idea! I just didn't want to explain too much at the moment and thought he'd be alright! But he got mad, and distant from me last few days, i try to make things better but he doesn't seem to wanna try, and sometimes he say things that make me feel like breaking up, in fact I wanted to break up a numerous time in the past only because I couldn't stand how ridiculous he think. I often felt he has impossible expectation on me, and whenever I'm with him I always feel uneasy. Last night, I did another and probably hopefully the last stupid thing I've ever done. Because he mention before that if I really want to see him, I'd go and cab to his house. Last night, after going out with my friends, I didn't know why but I just suddenly felt like seeing him, it was late, and I wasn't sure if he was sleeping but he didn't answer his phone, so I just tired my luck by taking a cab to his house and knock on his door, he was indeed asleep. I understand that he could be cranky because I woke him up, but..he look extremely upset, saying that I was very inconsiderate to knock on his door at 12:30am at night (normally we/he goes to bed around midnight), and he question why did I even show up at this time? and he has no objection for me to take a cab home by myself right away, i was upset, he said I can wait at his house for the cab, I was very upset so i refused and i waited outside in the cold at night by myself, he didn't even check out if I'm ok or if I'm gonna be safe, he just went straight to bed, didn't even call me today until I phone him, and THEn he ask if I got home safely.......I know this is very obvious and long, but I just wonder if I should break up with him clean and clear this time? If I am how do I do it "right"? I guess it just hurt that even when I say i wanna break up he almost seem like totally fine with it, and the truth is, he was the one who pursue me and always asking me, trying to read me, trying to analyze me, when all I wanted was just try to get along comfortably, and grow our relationship. HE said many things that hurt my feeling and yet he said he didn't and that it was me who insult him, I at least admit that when I got mad and had a fight I might have said something mean to him, but he doesn't admit he did, he thinks that it's just me taking it the wrong way. This man doens't seem to think he did anything wrong! Even when I phone him today, he still question me, who I was with last night, and what did I do, where did I go, what time I finish...Anyway, he still has stuff at my place, I don't know if I should break up with him soon or now or how do I do it without feeling too horrible.. Sorry this post is so long, I hope I can get some feedback, thanks.
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