teethbrushes Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 I'm not sure if anyone else has ever experienced this, but when I'm away from my ex, sometimes I find myself REALLY missing him. But when we talk to each other, I find I miss him significantly less than I used to....because I realize how silly he is. Has this happened to anyone else? I feel like no contact is WORSE for me.
patwheel Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 my ex and I broke up just recently. I didnt want it to end, and for the 2 first days after the break up, I called her up, pretty much begging to take me back, anger and all that. Now on my end, I dont want to talk to her, and she is pretty muhc a cold heartless btch for me right now. I miss her, I miss being with her, but if I call her, I know that anger and our problems will be there and we will fight again. No contact can help and does help. Just remember why we're doing this, it's to forget and forgive the other one, and move on with our life, and eventually find ourselves a new love, a better one. Initiating contact gives the one receiving the phone call power, and false hope.
dgiirl Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 I'm not sure if anyone else has ever experienced this, but when I'm away from my ex, sometimes I find myself REALLY missing him. But when we talk to each other, I find I miss him significantly less than I used to....because I realize how silly he is. Has this happened to anyone else? I feel like no contact is WORSE for me. lol yes! I think i said once on these forums I need my ex around to remind me what an ass he is! When I see him, I often ask myself why am I missing him? He's a jerk to me. He's not all that it's cracked up to be. And very recently I started wondering "What's wrong with HIM to dump me?" Yep, my self esteem is coming back strong The reason why I'm missing him when there's no contact is I'm missing the man in my head who I thought he was, but he really isnt that man. Either I made that guy up, or he initially was but he's changed. However, after saying that, I still think NC is the way to go... I dont think I'd be emotionally strong enough to see him in another relationship, being friends with him, and blah blah blah. I think it's the NC that helps me realize when we are together what a jerk he really is.
westernxer Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 I feel like no contact is WORSE for me. Once you get past the withdrawal stage, you'll be much better off.
Author teethbrushes Posted October 30, 2005 Author Posted October 30, 2005 withdrawl? oh no, we've been broken up for a LONG time and have had no contact for a LONG time. Recently we've been forced into contact...and when I don't talk to him, I sometimes feel lonely and miss him. but then the next day or day after I'll talk to him and be like "Oh, well, I'm missing what we had but he's so weird that I don't think that'll ever happen again."
scobro Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 Once you get past the withdrawal stage, you'll be much better off. My withdrawal felt like I was withdrawaling from heroin.I was always shaking, sweating at night when I dream about us.I was in constant pain in my stomach and my chest was tight.I lost 20 pounds and I couldnt eat sleep or concentrate it was the worst thing I have gone through:( it is getting better though.
helena abadi Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 during NC, it is possible for the lost partner to be idealised at their alluring best. a reminder of their reality is not a bad thing, so long as it's not a false hope ploy, low-grade stalking or doesn't cause you too much pain. if you end up thinking - what the hell did i see in them - then it's a helpful measure that you have indeed moved on. a nice confidence booster. if it has the opposite effect, then back to strict NC! scobro - withdrawl of the love drug does produce physical symptoms. our emotions and our physiology cannot be separated. weight loss, bad dreams, depression and anxiety are not uncommon at all. i hope you are travelling ok and getting the support you need. take care.
Author teethbrushes Posted October 31, 2005 Author Posted October 31, 2005 westernerx, we now go to the same small school and are involved in many of the same activities...which HE did.
westernxer Posted October 31, 2005 Posted October 31, 2005 School's one place where it's hard to avoid someone...
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