GuySimple Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 Um, this is one for my friends here at LS. I feel really bad even bringing this up but it has been bugging me an I really don’t know how to deal with it. So, I managed to arrange a date for tonight. First one and it was a blind date to someone whom I had talked to on the phone. Kind of a friend of a friend of a friend. So we arrange to meet in a restaurant. When she came in I wasn’t looking at the door so she came over and sat down. I was very polite and stood etc. So we had a few drinks and some food and really seemed to hit it off. She was very nice and cute looking. So after the date was winding down we agreed to stay in touch and agreed that maybe there was a connection. Great right. Well, when she stood up I notice she was not quite as shapely as I thought. I feel s***y even saying it because it makes me seem really shallow. I just have a preference for thinner women. So now I don’t know what to do. She seemed nice but I don’t know if I can get past this issue and I am not sure what to do now. For what it’s worth this is the last blind date for me. I always thought it would be cool but I guess that is only in the movies.
flowergirl Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 Guy, I'm sure this is gonna seem painfully obvious to you, but you are shallow. The good news is that you can overcome this small issue of body type if you really had a good time with this girl, so tell yourself that life and love is filled with pleasant little surprises and call her up for another date.
Outcast Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 If you marry someone, there's a chance that person will be in an accident or suffer an illness that will cause that person to become disfigured or to perhaps not be able to walk or move normally or to become large (steroid medication is notorious for that). So you better learn to love a person for who she is and not let a few pounds bother you because there are no guarantees in life. You, yourself could suffer some sort of awful fate - how would you feel if someone fell for you based on your looks and you became ill or was in an accident?
Hot Coco Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 Ok, well maybe I'm shallow too then but you're either attracted to a person or you're not. I myself never was attracted to husky men. I like a certain type. No matter how nice they were, if the physical aspects went "against type" it was hard to move forward. I'd go out with her again though. It's possible that you will grow to like her so much that it won't matter. I've had that happen to me as far as not being very attracted to a particular man's face (body was fine) but after awhile I began to see him as VERY attractive. The more I got to know him the more attractive he became. You have nothing to lose to go out with her again. You said you liked her and had a good time.
slubberdegullion Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 I guess, according to flowergirl, I'm shallow too. Like GuySimple, a lean, athletic frame appeals to me. Is having a body shape preference a negative trait? I don't think so, just as some men prefer redheads to brunettes. With that said, it's not a deal-breaker to me unless obesity is involved. I think you'd find that many men prefer shapely women over heavier women. It may not be politically correct to say so, but from my experience it seems to be the way it is. Fortunately, for women who feel that they are a bit chunky, there is something that can be done about it. Eat less, exercise more. It's simple, but not necessarily easy. GuySimple, I agree with Hot Coco and respectfully suggest that you arrange another meeting with this lady, since you already expressed the feeling that you had some sort of connection, then take it from there.
Lishy Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 You are not being shallow for not be attracted to a person because of their shape - Let just hope she was happy with your shape!!!!! (she is yet to see your dick hahahha) You have to be attacted to someone and have that spark. If something like body shape, nose size, crooked teeth or any other aspect that makes someone less than perfect turns you off then do the person a favour and let them find someone who will appreciate EVERY aspect of them. Let this girl go and go and find someone you wont be mentally critisising .... That is my advice!!!!!!
Outcast Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 Like GuySimple, a lean, athletic frame appeals to me. Is having a body shape preference a negative trait? I don't think so, just as some men prefer redheads to brunettes. Certainly one can have an ideal, but had I insisted on sticking to my 'ideal', I would have missed out on some great relationships. What I realized, fortunately fairly early on in life, is that it's the person who's the turn-on, not what the person looks like. Few people are hopelessly ugly and he didn't say she was morbidly obese, just that she was not quite as thin as he likes. But that he enjoyed the time he spent with her. Right now the stats are that 99% of men become obese as they age so it's her who has the most to worry about!!!
westernxer Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 This is why I don't do blind dates anymore... expectations are way too high (probably on her end as well).
Hot Coco Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 Certainly one can have an ideal, but had I insisted on sticking to my 'ideal', I would have missed out on some great relationships. What I realized, fortunately fairly early on in life, is that it's the person who's the turn-on, not what the person looks like. Few people are hopelessly ugly and he didn't say she was morbidly obese, just that she was not quite as thin as he likes. But that he enjoyed the time he spent with her. Right now the stats are that 99% of men become obese as they age so it's her who has the most to worry about!!! I'm sorry but that sounds WAY off base there...where are you getting those crazy statistics? 99%???? Does anyone else think that's accurate?
Author GuySimple Posted October 30, 2005 Author Posted October 30, 2005 If I had seen her figure before she sat down I could have been adding that to the whole mental processing that went on during the meeting. I wouldn’t have been surprised at the end. I agree totally that people can get better looking as you find out more about them. It’s the whole mind over matter thing. My mind didn’t get a chance to go over all the matter in this case. Regarding the shallow comment; if she told me during the meeting that she was a big drug user, smoked heavily or was bi-sexual or whatever, something contrary to how she presented herself initially before the meeting, most would have no problem with questioning a future relationship. But as soon as you mention something like weight or looks many immediately get their back up. I don’t get that. I don’t view weight as a disability but just prefer thinner women as a mate. Hey, I smoke cigars; a lot of women have told me that “I would never be their husband if I smoked”. I’m OK with that and don’t think they are shallow for thinking that way. The comment that maybe she had reservations about me is very true. Hey, I’m no buff Mr. Hollywood myself. I would expect that if there was something about me she didn’t like she would not, like I expect many do, assume that I can change that about myself down the road at her request. Just like I am not going to expect if we got together that she would eat better and go on a treadmill. That would be totally unfair. I’m also not sure about the 99% statistic. I have heard it said that most people have extra body fat based on whatever standard is out there. But to say that 99% of men are obese wouldn’t be accurate, at least in my part of the world anyway.
Yamaha Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 I think we all have a certain "body type" we find attractive in a physical way. We are all shallow in some ways and we shouldn't apologize for having preferences. P.S. You might stop the blind dating as you don't seem to want to be blind to her physical attributes.
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