Not Feeling Good Posted October 29, 2005 Posted October 29, 2005 My ex-boyfriend (2 year relationship, 6 months since the break) and I were recently talking. He had to tell me something he felt I "had a right to know." An old friend who was soon leaving town for school asked my ex if he wanted to fool around. They got together and did their thing. He said he felt really guilty after, and he only took up the offer up cos he was lonely. I told him that I had no right to his private life, that he was free to do what he wanted and that he didn't need to report to me. I suggested maybe he felt guilty cos the experience didnt have emotion attached to it, and that he should consider the meaning he ascribes to sex before doing something like that again. The weird thing is, I feel guilty too... guilt or something, I'm not sure. Its more like feeling sick, or hurt and afraid, but there's definitely some envy in there, too. I understand his behaviour, I feel the same lonliness, and I dont know how I'd react if an old friend now approached me. Can anyone help me understand what I'm feeling? What should I do?
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 1, 2005 Posted November 1, 2005 it is no wonder why you feel bad, if someone had sex with my current ex of less than a week i'd crack up inside, this is because we love them still he could have saved you a lot of bother by not mentioning anything about this, why he told you this I don't know
brittanyjean259 Posted November 1, 2005 Posted November 1, 2005 i know the hurt, i know the exact feeling....its a shock you know?....well atleast you guys werent together...and atleast he told you! that shows how honest he was really... you can think of it like this though( when it hurts really bad).....this person was just another person, your the one he loves...every one has sex....just try to think of it like that....thats what i do....even though it still hurts so bad:-X
In Sync Posted November 1, 2005 Posted November 1, 2005 brittanyjean259 After reading your post I was appalled...by the actions of your ex boyfriend. How could he tell you about him having sex with another person and not know it was cruel thing to do to you. Telling you this "news". Believe it or not, I find it to be hostile. AND telling you this under the guise "you had to know". It's mean spirited of him to do this to you. You are not a robot. You had feelings for this person and I'm sure he's aware of that so the entire point of him telling you was shere manipulation and hurtful. I don't know who broke off from who in this story but that's quite low waht he did..stay away from a person so blatantly disrespectful to you!
In Sync Posted November 1, 2005 Posted November 1, 2005 oops I mistakenly addressed (cut and pasted the wrong name) in my previous post to brittanyjean and it was directed for you Not Feeling Good!
brittanyjean259 Posted November 1, 2005 Posted November 1, 2005 yeah that was confusing, almost had to go back through all my posts to see if my bf really did tell me that, lol
Tangerina Posted November 1, 2005 Posted November 1, 2005 I know how you feel, and my ex deffinitely knows how you feel... he broke up with me 5 months ago and I am with someone in a serious relationship now and he is still single and wants me back... well, I never explicitly tried ot rub in his face that I was sleeping with someone new, but it was kind of obvious with the relationship and everything... he, on the other hand, found an offhand way to let me know he had slept with someone else since we broke up, but then refused to share any details and just giggled... I was kinda pissed because I knew it was hard for him to see me with someone else so I tried to not rub it in his face, but not hide it either since I am not ashamed... but he was just doing that to try to make me feel... bad or awkward or jealous or something... all it made me feel was like he was being an immature jerk... Your ex has absolutely no reason to tell you that than to try to mess with your emotions... you are right, it is none of your business and he should keep it to himself.....
mini696 Posted November 2, 2005 Posted November 2, 2005 Its just one of those things that no-one wants to hear. In a strange way our ex's like to say these things to us when they know full well it will hurt us. Maybe you think of the ex as your property, no-one should be touching. Its good he's moved on, but very unthoughtful that he would tell you these things. You are lucky not to be with someone who doesnt think of your feelings.
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