Boobers Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 I am 26 yrs old. I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 months and now he wants to move in to my apartment. I hate to say this but I REALLY don't want that to happen. When we started dating everything was great. He is very sweet but over the last month or so I've been drawing further and further away from him. I think I have gotten to know him a lot better and we just aren't compatible. He doesn't think this. He has never been in love and he says he loves me. he has only ever had 1 gf in his life so is very inexperienced. he also has a terrible self esteem problem. he basically hates himself. No this is where the problem lies, how do I tell him I don't want him to move in with me (ultimately I think I will be breaking up with him soon) and not crush him? I don't want to hurt him any more than absolutely necessary. He is wonderful person and doesn't deserve to be crushed. help me please!!
Art_Critic Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 Since you have come to determine that he isn't the one.. Then there is only one thing your can do .. And do it quick. Breakup with him NOW.. Don't drag it out any further and let him get more attached to you.. don't worry about breaking his heart.. there is no way you cannot stop it from happening.. But treat him like a good friend and don't be mean to him.. But for your own sake you need to be firm and non-wavering about your feelings.. If you are his first love he may do the puppy dog thing and keep trying to stay around you
ycagwyw Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 This sounds very similar to a situation I was in. Just be honest without being brutal about it. Say that you just don't think you are compatible, and that he deserves to be with someone who feels the same way he does. Whatever you do, DO NOT let this relationship drag on. The longer you do that, the more you will hurt him in the end. At a minium, DO NOT allow him to move in. Make up something if you have to.
Author Boobers Posted October 28, 2005 Author Posted October 28, 2005 Thanks Art Critic. I know what i have to do i just was hoping there way a not so harsh way so his feelings could be spared. thank you for the advice:)
Art_Critic Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 No problem Boobers.. There is no way to spare his feelings.. The only thing you can do to minimize the hurt is be honest and up front with him and discuss your feelings with him. But remember don't go into it with the idea that you can be talked out of it for his sake..that will make things worse in the long run.. You have to rip the bandaid off fast in order to get it over with
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