Kengne Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 I sent this to my Dad a year ago after he discovered my mother was having an affair. He told me this, and me talking to him 24/7 is what prevented him from committing suicide. I love my Dad so much... and I hated to see him in so much emotional pain. I think reading this helped him... and it has helped me TREMENDOUSLY deal with my recent break-up... and I think it will do WONDERS for people on here. Enjoy: LET IT GO for 2005...by T. D. Jakes There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19] People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!!! If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to ...LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ...LET IT GO!!! If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth ...LET IT GO!!! If someone has angered you ...LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge ...LET IT GO!!! If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction ...LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents ...LET IT GO!!! If you have a bad attitude ...LET IT GO!!! If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better ...LET IT GO!!! If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him ...LET IT GO!!! If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship ...LET IT GO!!! If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves ...LET IT GO!!! If you're feeling depressed and stressed ...LET IT GO!!! If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying take your hands off of it, then you need to ...LET IT GO!!! Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2005!!! ...LET IT GO!!!
Hot Coco Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 Wonderful message yes. A lot to be said for it...BUT it reminds me of "Just say NO" - easier said than done in many cases...too simplistic. If it were as easy as "letting it go" we'd all do it. I'm really not saying that the message is not of value because it surely IS. I'm only saying - would that it could be that easy. And maybe it SHOULD be that easy but sadly, it often isn't.
garner Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 KNOWING when to let go is so difficult. We have to fight for the things we want sometimes. It's not always easy to know when it's time to stop fighting. Especially when people give us mixed messages about whether or not they want to be with us, or when they're really not sure themselves. Most people I know will do their best to let go of a relationship when the other person has made it clear that they want that relationship to end. Letting go emotionally isn't easy though. If only we had that switch we could just turn on and off, but most of us don't.
Author Kengne Posted October 28, 2005 Author Posted October 28, 2005 Thanks for your input hun! But I respectfully disagree - letting go REALLY is that simple. It's US - the people that have to let go - that are not. Our egos won't let go - "I want him/her back!" (so I can dump him/her!) Our emotions won't let go - "I'll never love again!" (when we can and will do so) Our pride won't let go - "I didn't deserve this - I'm better!"(sometimes we are, and sometimes we aren't). IMO... I know I have struggled with letting go... for fear of not being able to find it - that connection, that spark! - again. I have struggled because I have desperately WISHED, HOPED & PRAYED things were the way I WANTED them to be. I have, literally, tried to force someone into staying with me bcuz of my belief that things would work out if they would JUST give us (i.e. ME ) a chance. I have been through all that... and I really believe that the emotional turmoil we go through is a result of our own creation. We create our emotions, and our emotional reality. Emotions cannot be forced down or away.. but I do believe they can be controlled, or guided. I didn't wake up one morning... not feeling depressed/sad about my break-up.. bcuz X amt of time had gone by. I woke up feeling good - bcuz I WANTED to feel good! I CHOSE to feel positive. I was able to do so by LETTING GO... and letting what will be, be. I think now-a-days we think too much. Thinking is not always good, and overthinking and overfeeling emotions is def bad. I woke up today saying "Today is going to be a good day. I am going to feel good today, bcuz I have LET GO and have STOPPED trying to control the situation." Throughout the day I continuously tell myself this... and amazingly... it works. If at this very moment I chose to think about my ex R.. or my ex M.. and the hurt I have felt w regards to both breakups) ... I could literally burst into tears, right now. Even as I type, I feel the emotion welling up inside. And then I stop.. right there. And make the choice: Do I want to feel good, or feel bad? I CHOOSE to feel good. And so I focus my energy on that, thoughts that make me feel good.. and just let go! It's so much, I can't begin to even get into it. I've been doing alot of reading on emotional turbulence, and harnessing your emotional turbulence & I think that if more ppl were aware that they OWN their emotions and DO have control over their emotional reactions (instead of falsely believing they have no control)... then more ppl would be able to cope with a break-up better... heal quicker... sooner... get my drift? That's just me. What do y'all think? K.
Outcast Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 Sort of a distillation of Buddhist thought, too. Basically, let life be; don't fight it.
Author Kengne Posted October 28, 2005 Author Posted October 28, 2005 KNOWING when to let go is so difficult. We have to fight for the things we want sometimes. It's not always easy to know when it's time to stop fighting. Especially when people give us mixed messages about whether or not they want to be with us, or when they're really not sure themselves. Most people I know will do their best to let go of a relationship when the other person has made it clear that they want that relationship to end. Letting go emotionally isn't easy though. If only we had that switch we could just turn on and off, but most of us don't. Hey! I agree. It's hard to know when to let go. But my belief is the earlier the better. Because you let go... let someone walk away... that means their role in your story... FOR NOW... is over. To me.. it does NOT mean that they can never RE-ENTER your life... somewhere else down in your story. It just means that you should not try to drag them along. If they need to go... LET THEM GO.. If they are to come back.. they will come back. But no amt of beggin, pleading, crying... will make them stay if it is their time to go. Let them go! And if they are still not sure if they want to stay/leave... then I think you need to make the decision for them...and let them go. K.
Ruff Ryder Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 Today i saw my ex fiance and things got all confused and you start thinking stupid s***. I had to get my car back from her. Anyways it was hard seeing her all the emotions come back and you kick yourself for letting them go and the pain builds up then it becomes anger then deppression UNTILL i came here to vent my feelings and the first post i saw was this one and it helps ALOT. So thank you so much and great timing.,......
RecordProducer Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 This is a good method for fighting the pain caused by things you cannot change. I don't think it's a simplistic laisser-passer life style that is propagated here. Unfortunately it's easier said than done. The biggest hurt is usually hard to let go. "Skipping" the phase of bleeding may lead to chronical emotional, mental, and/or physical (health) problems. It's important to face the pain and fight it back. Besides the time of hurting gives us a new perspective of life; because it hurts so much we learn to be more careful in the future and appreciate what we have. If making money was easy, nobody would be satisfied with average income; if losing money didn't hurt, nobody would have anything. Now apply this analogy on love, friendship, and life in general and you'll know what I mean.
Ruff Ryder Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 Graet words of wisdom there. You all are awsome and deserve some one to love and some one who loves you back equally.
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