seachange Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 Loveshackers, please give me a swift kick in the butt. It's for my own good. So I did a dumb thing: after 7 weeks of NC (we've been broken up for about 2 months) he emailed me to say he hadn't realized how bad things were in Miami after Hurricane Wilma and he hopes my mom (who lives there, though I don't) is okay. And that I am too. Argh. Without thinking about it nearly enough, I thought, hmph, well, I suppose that's nice and then wrote a quick email saying she's fine, thanks for thinking of us. And that was it. But now I'm kicking myself because I don't know why I bothered and I'm feeling the itch to check email compulsively again. Grrrrr!!! He totally got me. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Someone please give me some tough love, I can only pound my own head against the wall so many times.
Art_Critic Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 The thing I have always hated.. ( the last GF did this to me ) was she ended text msgs or emails with "Take Care" after the breakup That always drove me nuts.
Author seachange Posted October 28, 2005 Author Posted October 28, 2005 Yes, I know exactly what you mean...nothing's worse than hearing someone say, "I care about you" or "I want you to be happy". Oh yeah? Happy this! It's snippy, but I just want to respond with 'thanks for a whole lot of nothing'.
JohnJohn Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 The thing I have always hated.. ( the last GF did this to me )was she ended text msgs or emails with "Take Care" after the breakup. That always drove me nuts. My ex said the same thing at the end of her last response to me. Of course prior to saying that she had to attempt to lay a guilt trip on me and blame me for everything but then ends it with a "Take Care". Learn a lesson from this and don't respond to him again. I know it's frustrating, but you didn't do anything that attrocious.
Author seachange Posted October 29, 2005 Author Posted October 29, 2005 He just emailed me back. Again. To say more of the nothing. Meh. But observe! I'm not getting sucked in again to respond to nothing emails. Hah! It's back to NC for me. (Oh, and I meant to say: thanks you guys. )
Author seachange Posted October 30, 2005 Author Posted October 30, 2005 Why why why did he even bother to email if he's only going to say nothing? I'm having such a hard time not writing back. This hurts so much. Even though I know better, I find myself thinking, maybe he just needs encouragement. And the reality is, I'm all tormented and he probably just doesn't even care anymore. :(
JohnJohn Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 It's about power and control for him. He's testing you to see if you respond and take his bait. If you do then his "nothing" e-mails will progress in substance and most likely become more frequent. Hold tight to NC. Block him from e-mailing you if you have that capability.
scobro Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 My ex just asks how the dogs are doing not how am I doing:rolleyes:
Sloppy Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 My ex just asks how the dogs are doing not how am I doing:rolleyes: Oh damn, that's tough. Seachange, stick to your NC. Now you have the chance to show him he's lost you forever by not replying. Show him you don't care (I know you do, but it is gonna get worse with his emails). You will feel good about your self if you don't reply - as opposed to waiting for his reply and kicking your self in the buttox if you do reply.
helena abadi Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 hey, it's just two emails. that's it. he doesn't know he ``got you'', he only knows the polite response you sent back, which was not personal or emotional. i've had chain letters with more heart (i stole that line from a movie on TV, but i love it). you are doing well. as lost_in_chicago (or someone similar) wrote -- it's the scouting party coming around to see how you are doing. if it's more than a scouting party, he will try and contact you again. if all this is too painful for you, then back to NC and block his emails. i found any ``scouting'' text messages from my ex unbearably painful. i would read them days later, or not read them at all and just delete them.
Author seachange Posted October 30, 2005 Author Posted October 30, 2005 My ex just asks how the dogs are doing not how am I doing:rolleyes: Urgh, that's sooo annoying. as opposed to waiting for his reply and kicking your self in the buttox if you do reply. And hee! That made me think of Forrest Gump. "But-tocks". I guess the crappy thing about resetting to NC after you blip once is that after the first month or so, not contacting or checking email constantly was starting to become a habit. But now it's like I have to re-train myself all over again. Maybe every time I start to hit the "reply" button, I should whap myself with a rolled-up newspaper. On the but-tocks. Bad dog!
Author seachange Posted October 30, 2005 Author Posted October 30, 2005 i've had chain letters with more heart (i stole that line from a movie on TV, but i love it). which movie?
helena abadi Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 trying to think..... maybe not a movie. actually, i think it was Boston Legal. (James Spader's one-liners rule!)
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