Lishy Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 Hi guys ...... I need some help and quick - Well i was sort of seeing this guy (read previous threads for the full story) He works in a club as a doorman and TONIGHT i may have to go there to meet up with friends for a birthday party! Ok i need help how to act - The thing is I still really fancy this guy but he never calls me so I have decided to forget him! (easier said than done!) He works the club every weekend and I never go in there as I would hate him to think I am there to see HIM! I really want to go out and enjoy myself tonight as my dad died 2 weeks ago and I need a release night out, if that makes sense. I want to have fun but dont want him to think I am just there to see him or to make him jealous (which isnt the case) .... The people i am meeting are guys who are just friends, but all of them have tried it on with me but i just see them as friends and they are nice guys! How do i act around him so that he doesnt get the wrong idea? Damn this dating thing sucks - I shouldnt care what he thinks i guess!! Anyone else had to deal with this? How did you get through it?
Art_Critic Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 The thing is I still really fancy this guy but he never calls me so I have decided to forget him! You need to just blow by him like he doesn't matter.. Since he never calls anyhow this way you don't give him the impression that you are there to see him.. Also .. Have a great time.. and if he still doesn't call you again after that then move on to your next victim.. Sorry about your dad by the way.. I know how it feels to lose a parent..
ThumbingMyWay Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 The people i am meeting are guys who are just friends, but all of them have tried it on with me but i just see them as friends and they are nice guys! ....I just had to point this out....nice guys seen as friends.... OK...first off, sorry about your Dad. In the last 2 weeks, 2 good childhood friends of mine lost there Dads within a week of each other....both to cancer. I know that its tuff, esp when its so close to home. As for yuo questions....JUST BE YOURSELF. Put on a smile and when ya see him at the door, just say "Hey, whats up....just meeting some friends for a birthday party....I;ll talk to ya later.....and give me a call sometime" Then walk away and go get a double martini...
cabeach Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 funny thing.... i have posted before, a while ago, and this reflects my situation similiarly, the girl that wasn't returning my calls works the door at a bar i frequent. At first, it was difficult, but I would walk in, hold my head high, and act like it was just anyone else working the door. That is all you can door really. Can't give up your power! If you feel comfortable, a casual hello would be cool, if not, say nothing! You are not obligated to say anything.
Hot Coco Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 I agree exactly with what Thumb said to say EXCEPT the part about calling you sometime. That would make you look desperate. He's had his chances to call you and has chosen not too. So, if it were me, I'd say everything else exactly as Thumb said but leave that part out.
RecordProducer Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 He works in a club as a doorman and TONIGHT i may have to go there to meet up with friends for a birthday party! Well you're in a much better position than him. He is just a doorman where you go to have fun with friends. So he should be worried, not you! If you don't care about him, you don't intentionally avoid to go there so he won't think that you're there because of him. Just say "hi", smile, and move on. Don't stand tehre and talk to him. If he asks you anything, answer shortly and don't stop to chat with him. He will realize that you're not tehre for him. You wouldn't spend the evening at a place with guy friends just to say "hi" to I still really fancy this guy but he never calls me so I have decided to forget him! He doesn't know how much you like him so don't worry. Why would you care what he thinks of you? Just don't pay much attention to him. He is just an inimportant acquaintance, right? I really want to go out and enjoy myself tonight as my dad died 2 weeks ago and I need a release night out, if that makes sense. I am so sorry for your loss.
elijahBailey Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 I agree exactly with what Thumb said to say EXCEPT the part about calling you sometime. That would make you look desperate. No really Coco girl. Stick to the script. It wouldn't make her look desperate at all. If I were the guy I'd be thinking ..... this girl is interested enough to want me to call her..... but she's got plenty of other guys ( since she walking in with plenty of dudes ) keeping her interested as well . You want him to know you're interested but you can get along fine without him as well.
Author Lishy Posted October 28, 2005 Author Posted October 28, 2005 You guys are great!!!!!! Thank you so much - I will walk in head held high, say a brief hello then go on to have some funnnnnnnnn!!!!!! (I sure need it) I wont ask him to call me - He has my number and he is big n ugly enuff to call it if he wanted to!!!!!! I am not there to make him jealous or to make him want me I am there for my friends birthday - I was just worried he may THINK i was there to make him jealous or to see him, but i shouldnt CARE what he thinks should I? I will let you know how i got on tomorrow!!!! Ps .....Thumb they are friends because they all have girlfriends in tow somewhere and i dont mess with someone else's man!!! I LIKE nice men i hate bad boy/players!!!!!!!! and i STILL think you are sexy as hell!!
alphamale Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 - The thing is I still really fancy this guy but he never calls me so I have decided to forget him! (easier said than done!) .... The people i am meeting are guys who are just friends, but all of them have tried it on with me but i just see them as friends and they are nice guys!
Hot Coco Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 No really Coco girl. Stick to the script. It wouldn't make her look desperate at all. If I were the guy I'd be thinking ..... this girl is interested enough to want me to call her..... but she's got plenty of other guys ( since she walking in with plenty of dudes ) keeping her interested as well . You want him to know you're interested but you can get along fine without him as well. Nope, sorry. I stand by what I said. Just the fact that he has her number tells me that he should know that's she's ialready nterested. He chose to not follow up. Your approach is PERFECT Lish. Yes, hold your head high. Don't avoid him. Hey, let us know how it goes and have fun!
JS17 Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 Lishy, sorry to hear about your dad. You should go out and have some fun...BUT.... I'm kind of with Alphamale. Why are you even still interested in this d!ckwad? Is it just pure attraction/physical fun that you want from him? That I can understand. But why would you want to date someone like this, even casually? If he doesn't want you, why do you want him? I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't want me. I'm going to say that these are rhetorical questions so as not to risk starting another nice guy pitty thread.
Author Lishy Posted October 28, 2005 Author Posted October 28, 2005 To be honest JS17 since my dad has died i havnt thought about this guy at all - It brought everything into perspective for me! Even though he is still physically attractive to me he can go to hell now - He had his chance and screwed it up - I am not worried about impressing him tonight, I am worried about giving him a big ego trip and him THINKING i am there to see him. SO i wanted some advice and got great advice (as always) If he called me now i wouldnt even answer!!!!!!!!
JS17 Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 To be honest JS17 since my dad has died i havnt thought about this guy at all - It brought everything into perspective for me! Even though he is still physically attractive to me he can go to hell now - He had his chance and screwed it up - I am not worried about impressing him tonight, I am worried about giving him a big ego trip and him THINKING i am there to see him. SO i wanted some advice and got great advice (as always) If he called me now i wouldnt even answer!!!!!!!! Gotcha! I don't know who he is but you're CLEARLY too good for him Don't worry about what he thinks. Picture him with a monkey head and you'll knock him down to size for sure. We all do things that might be out of the norm for us when we're going through something traumatic. You'll do ok.
ThumbingMyWay Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 I am worried about giving him a big ego trip and him THINKING i am there to see him. hhhmmm...maybe you could get one of these male friends to hold your hand or put an arm around you as you walk in?...just to make it known...that you arent there to see him? I dunno....Im a guy...what do i know...
Author Lishy Posted October 28, 2005 Author Posted October 28, 2005 This site is so great ..... It's like having 20 best friends who have been there and wore the t-shirt and all give constructive, un-biased advice Boy am i glad i found this place!!!!!!!!!!
alphamale Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 Is it just pure attraction/physical fun that you want from him? It must be JS17....I mean this dude is a doorman at a club. I don't think LISHY wants hims for his brains and intellect and earning potential. If she wanted that she'd be running after brain surgeons....
noclobber Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 The thing is I still really fancy this guy but he never calls me so I have decided to forget him! does he know that u r interested in him in the first place? did u give him some hints? u got show that u r interested in him somehow.. I never go in there as I would hate him to think I am there to see HIM! Female ego!!!!!!!!! enuff said.. I really want to go out and enjoy myself tonight as my dad died 2 weeks ago really sorry to hear that Lishy. hope u feel better! I want to have fun but dont want him to think I am just there to see him more female ego.. what can i say? u just got to get rid of the "what will he think" and just make a move.
Walk Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 I think, unless he's got an overblown ego, he'll figure out that you don't care whether he's alive or not. If you don't: *Stare at him, then look away when he looks. *Try talking to him past, "here's my ID, let me in now". *Make excuses to be near him *Make suggestive innuendo's. *Don't keep touching your hair *Don't wear abnormally provocative clothing. (You won't, but just as a reminder for any subconscious actions) Confidence!!! You own the place, whatever 4 foot diameter of space you are in. I think you'll have a blast, and you'll forget the jerk exists two seconds after walking in the door. Just pick a table that isn't directly in his line of sight, so you don't have a reminder every time you look up. Have fun!! Don't tomorrow!!
RecordProducer Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 I mean this dude is a doorman at a club. I don't think LISHY wants hims for his brains and intellect and earning potential. Aahhh, Alpha, don't be so sure about what a woman can find smart, fun, and good!
alphamale Posted October 29, 2005 Posted October 29, 2005 Aahhh, Alpha, don't be so sure about what a woman can find smart, fun, and good! RP, the word on the street must be that he's got a 10 inch penis
Author Lishy Posted October 29, 2005 Author Posted October 29, 2005 Well guys ...... I went out and met the birthday boy and his friends and we had a blast!!!!!!!!!!! We didnt even end up going to that club (but all advice will be kept in mind for when i do eventually go there) I met this really nice guy as well but now i am sooooooooo hung over
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