unintentional Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 i try to be okay. ..i try to see the good in life. but lately it's all been just far too hard. and i start work on sunday at seven a.m. ..and im going to have to smile and pretend im happy when im not. how do i do that!? that's not me..im not happy and i never pretend i am when im not. it's not in me. it just makes things worse..! how do i get past this..i swear i try. i pray to god every night that it'll all be okay..but i cant feel anything inside of me. just pure sadness. god, i dont know what to do... i want change..i want to change everything about the way that i look because when i look in the mirror, i see the girl that was with him. i see the exact same girl; but this time she is sad. unwanted. lied to. broken. all his promises...no longer apply to me. it was all just bull. how do i move on? how do i become okay.? he wont talk to me anymore. not even a "hello, how are you?" nothing. like he doesn't care anymore...like he's found someone else..and im nothing to him now...i wish i could be okay. i wish something would happen...or i could meet someone that would show me that my ex wasn't as good as it gets..because so far, it seems that way. he was. and i lost him. forever.
suegail Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 It seems as if you have built this idea up in your mind that he is so good, so perfect for you, that now you are forever lost without him, and that is just not true. Of course it's not true, but if you keep feeding that belief back into your brain, it's going to be a long long time before you ever see the light of day again. I think it would help if you could begin to actually accept the fact that the relationship is over - - it doesn't sound like you've done that. If you could let go of the hope that he'll make a turn around I think you'd find that a good step in the right direction. Time - Time - it takes time to get over being so hurt, and you will be sad over a period of time, anyone is when something like this happens, but it will get easier. And I'll bet you will meet someone who will take his place, probably not right away, but eventually...don't be in too much of a hurry because it doesn't always help if you get involved too soon. And don't feel that you have to change yourself because someone you have loved has walked out on you. Don't allow this experience to have that kind of effect on you. No way... God Bless...
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 I know how it is, hon. Trust me, I know. I could've been in your shoes. He hasn't been in touch with me since...exactly 5 months, today. Almost half a year gone by, I haven't heard from him. And now I'm beginning to believe I'm never going to, either. But hey...all is not lost. Sure, it's difficult, and it takes so much courage just be yourself, right? But you'll be better than this, one day. Like Suegail said, time helps. The only problem is, "time" takes its own time, you know what I mean? When we suffer from a major emotional setback like this, we feel helpless, more than anything else. We go back to our perception of "infant time", which means that we want things to happen right this moment, almost like an infant who needs to be fed right away. The 30 seconds that it takes for mom to warm the bottle, seems like an hour's wait. Try keep reminding yourself to think in terms of "adult time". It helps. And depending on your situation, it could take from a couple of months to...well, much longer. But you will feel better than this. Most importantly, remember - you are not alone. You have all of us, your friends, swimming against the same tide. You'll get all the warmth and support you need from LSers here!!
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