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This will be controversial: No Contact question


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MamaMimaherewego
Posted

Hi all

 

I have been doing NC with my ex for about 8 months. It has helped me tremendously. I still have many mixed feelings for him but am slowly moving on. However, I was told by a friend this morning that he has been admitted to hospital with severe asthma-related problems. Apparently he has been there for a week and will probably be sick for awhile. I want to reach out to him so badly, I feel like the coldest b*tch in the world for not contacting him during this period. However as sick as he is, I don't want to get sucked back into the old cycle.

 

What should I do?

Posted

Do not contact him. If you are religious, say a prayer for him and his health. If you are not religious, ask someone else to say a prayer for him or his health.

 

You know you are not a cold "b***". And, your gut is telling you the BEST answer: "you don't want to get sucked back in." You know the answer!

 

You should be so proud of yourself for 8 months of NC. So many of us are struggling to be where you are. Don't give in. Be strong. Hug yourself. Be good to yourself.

Posted

Does he have friends and family? If so, forget about going. Keep him in your thoughts.

If he is all alone, I would most likely go. Isn't it strange how we go from loving/being with someone all the time to big 'o' zero? Life is a strange happening :)

Posted
However as sick as he is, I don't want to get sucked back into the old cycle.

 

What should I do?

 

Don't contact him.

Posted

no contact means no contact, no matter what happens

Posted

I'd say listen to your heart. Whether you contact him or not listen to that still small voice. If you are religious then let God speak to your heart. No contact certainly has its place. I don't know all the details about your situation. Good luck in making the right decision.

Posted

Not long after the break up with my ex. I got robbed and physically assaulted. I ended up in the hospital for a good 9 or so hours...My ex was on my mind the whole time, at one point I even did prayer with the chaplain at the hospital. Seeing her again was part of the prayer.

I never did get to see her...

Reflecting upon the situation its unfortunate that this woman cant see just what she means to me.

 

I personally think you should go and see him. Hospital is an awful place to be..

Posted

I think it depends on how the breakup went. If he left being cold and mean, he probably would prefer not to see you there. On the other hand, if the breakup was due to extenuating circumstances, go see him.

 

If you do go, just stop by for a few minutes and leave a get well card or something. You just have to be prepared to handle him possibly contacting you after being released though. Are you ready for that?

 

Be careful and put a lot of thought into your final decision.

Posted

my mother told me last night that two people from work were engaged , the guy got cold feet and split 3 weeks before their marriage

 

he got sick , she went to see him and they got married

 

it does depend on the situation though

Posted

If you're going to visit him because you're genuinely concerned and want to let him know you still care about him as a person, then go. But if you're going, hoping that this display of concern will help him see what a wonderful girl he lost and then want you back, don't. You can always send flowers and a card with a few kind words in it, letting him know if he needs anything, you're there to help him as a friend.

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