I think I've made it.....

[NightsEcho]

Hey all at LoveShack....

Well 8 months since this break up occured. I think I've finally made it to a point where I am okay again. My days are no longer gloomy or sad. No more do I make excuses to try and keep in contact. Rather a feeling of not wanting contact...She really doesn't have anything I wanna hear anyway. Life is starting to return to normal...dating, keeping busy, i seem to have a lot more friends and active social life now. I look back on previous posts with wonder....like seeing a person I no longer recognize from the past...myself.

I have stopped doing things that I hoped would impress her, but rather that I want for myself.....its not so bleak anymore.

Do I still love and care for her? Sure I do. I had to come to terms with that actually. That to care for someone can be one-sided sometimes. I still have the odd pang of thought for her, or a random dream but she no longer is there all the time in my thoughts.

I guess the healing process is not instantaneous...but rather a process that you eventually realize you have gone through. I wanna hang around here and give back to the community that helped me.....please I'd love to hear your responses and stories.

NE

[pioneer]

Good post, why is it when u split with someone, you are always thinking of things you can do to impress them. Iv been split with my ex over a year , and shes got a house with someone else, but i still think like this.............strange

[allaboutchoices]

Glad to hear that people come back from those gloomy days. I feel like that most of the time, but it hasn't been that long for me yet, so he is on my mind 60% of the time.

I hear ya. I do things to improve my self and make my self happy. I made a pack with my self; I am determined to stay single until I know for sure I have gone all the way working on my self-improvement. I know there is always space for improvement, but there are major things I need to fix and figure out before I enter another relationship.

I actually really appreciate this time of my life, I am very thankfull. I am not sure that I would ever be able to look at my patterns from a different point of view if it wasn't for this heart-break

Thanks for sharing your story and sticking around

[scobro]

Glad to hear that people come back from those gloomy days. I feel like that most of the time, but it hasn't been that long for me yet, so he is on my mind 60% of the time.

I hear ya. I do things to improve my self and make my self happy. I made a pack with my self; I am determined to stay single until I know for sure I have gone all the way working on my self-improvement. I know there is always space for improvement, but there are major things I need to fix and figure out before I enter another relationship.

I actually really appreciate this time of my life, I am very thankfull. I am not sure that I would ever be able to look at my patterns from a different point of view if it wasn't for this heart-break

Thanks for sharing your story and sticking around

 

Me too!!

I need to work on things also and be able to be in a position that makes me comfortable with choosing to enter into another relationship.It is still so new and fresh for me that I could not even imagine going out with someone right now I would be a mess I still have the stomach pains so I have a long way to go but at least the last couple of posts here have given me hope that there will be better days ahead.In the meantime I will better myself in all areas and allow for some personal growth.It won't be easy but I have no choice other than to allow this to make me bitter and lonely for the rest of my life or to make changes for the better to improve the rest of my life,that sounds a whole lot better than being bitter.........I have hope.

[Nikita20]

Thanks for your post!! It gives us dumpees hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel. My bf just recently broke up with me in August. As of September, so far, we've had 1 month of NC and I'm slowly getting better, but my emotions are like a rollercoaster. I have my good days and bad. I know that this will take time and I'm looking forward to the day when I'm finally over this. This has been complete hell for me, but, as the saying goes, "It is better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all." I still have faith in love.

[downcydeguy]

... "It is better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all." I still have faith in love.

 

 

First of all, this old saying is complete crap.

 

Now as for the original post, congrats NE. It definitely sounds like things have finally turned around for you. I hope your next relationship reaps the benefits of what you've learned from your last one.

 

Good luck and keep us up to date!

[Nikita20]

I don't think that statement is crap. For those of us who have loved and lost, we need to learn from the experience, heal, move on and apply the knowledge and wisdom to the next relationship that we have with someone else. I know it hurts really bad in the meantime. Trust me, I'm going through complete hell right now. But, I am grateful that I have experienced the beauty of love and I have faith that I shall find it again, even if perhaps it is with my ex, that is, if it does work out, or with someone else.

[J dub]

I don't think that statement is crap. For those of us who have loved and lost, we need to learn from the experience, heal, move on and apply the knowledge and wisdom to the next relationship that we have with someone else. I know it hurts really bad in the meantime. Trust me, I'm going through complete hell right now. But, I am grateful that I have experienced the beauty of love and I have faith that I shall find it again, even if perhaps it is with my ex, that is, if it does work out, or with someone else.

 

Ditto

 

The statement isnt crap -- you learn so much about yourself in relationships that it's always ALWAYS better to have some failed attempts, in order to apply your newly found knowledge elsewhere to make the better work out in the end.