calworld Posted October 27, 2005 Posted October 27, 2005 Recap: she dumped me for another guy and talked trash behind my back to my friends. I am over with her already. Should I continue no contact? Or should I just check what's going on?
allaboutchoices Posted October 27, 2005 Posted October 27, 2005 *claps for not picking up* She's not worth it. Continue with your life, obviously she has no place in it. You should be proud of your self. Now on the evil side....isn't it tempting to call:D ?!
head/heels Posted October 27, 2005 Posted October 27, 2005 yet....let her think about y you didnt call back....that will really hit home with her. she will realize that just maybe, you dont give a sh(t if she does go out and get with someone else....she made her bed bro, let her lie in it awhile...maybe she will call again and leave a message..then and only then will you know the true meaning of her call... DONT DO ANYTHING YET!!!!!!!! congrats on being strong enough not to answer...now stay strong d
head/heels Posted October 27, 2005 Posted October 27, 2005 of your posts....so do you want her back or what is your goal ???what is your motive? alright, just wondering.....keep me posted...
Author calworld Posted October 27, 2005 Author Posted October 27, 2005 I don't really have any goal. I never thought she will call me anyway. I was REALLLLLLLY shocked when she called me yesterday. And twice?!? Hmm....I don't really see there's anything lies between us anymore. What's the point of calling me? I can't figured it out either. :confused: I just don't want to fall into the ditch twice
slubberdegullion Posted October 27, 2005 Posted October 27, 2005 Steer clear. Don't answer her calls, emails or whatever. It's pretty clear that she doesn't deserve a response, even if you still have a soft (or hard ) spot for her.
westernxer Posted October 27, 2005 Posted October 27, 2005 I am over with her already. Should I continue no contact? Or should I just check what's going on? I thought you were over her already. Don't call her.
Ruff Ryder Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 DUDE whats up with you? She left you for another guy..... You should even think about what she wants or why she is calling brush it off and keep going. You sound level headed so keep to the not answering let her sweat a bit sit it out and chill. Enjoy what you have (and thats not her) Stay strong no matter how hard it might be....
head/heels Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 brothers, amen! she left you for some other guy...talked bad about you...now is hurting inside and prolly got dumped by the guy or something and wants to get you back because you truly loved her and all that .... dont answer her and dont even worry about why she is calling...if she wants to tell you something or wants to see you or whatever, she will leave a message! dont give her the benefit of your breath..........BE TOUGH BRO! you deserve better!
Sami_D Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 Hmm....I don't really see there's anything lies between us anymore. What's the point of calling me? I can't figured it out either. :confused: I just don't want to fall into the ditch twice If you read most of the threads on LS about NC (ones that relate to going NC after someone has 'dumped' you), you will find that they often call after a while. The motive? Usually, from what I've read, they just want to check you're still hanging on the line for them (probably because they are a little bored, something went wrong for them, or they just can't believe you can live without them!!).
head/heels Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 is right!! usually when they do call back it is to stamp you down even more....to show you they still have the power over you!
anotherconfusedlover Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 doesn't it cross anyone's mind that maybe the person that did the dumping for someone else has a mental problem/personality disorder? and if you really love that person for who they are instead of what they can do for YOU that maybe you can get over it and at the same time be a MAN and help them until they let you go. If you talk to them you do not have to bring up the past. the relationship is over and you're free, enjoy it! but at the same time do what is right, and if you ever said you loved her than follow thru with that no matter what she did. even though all the past happen you can still care for someone without obsessing about what they can be for you.
head/heels Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 another confused lover... you are in the little stage called denial..... you try to "help" your ex figure out her life as she dates the guy she left you for and strings you along so as to keep her self confidence up between dates with the new guy ......it is more fun than a barrel of monkeys!
Sami_D Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 is right!! usually when they do call back it is to stamp you down even more....to show you they still have the power over you! Well I wouldn't say that that was how they feel. They're probably just as mixed up as anyone. There's no Deliberate harm in their minds. Talking about it that way can be counter-productive. Myself, I'm in NC with someone, but my situation isn't anything like yours. However I found your story because I searched under NC here on this site. I think it would be useful for you to read this thread, and see where it takes you. Good luck x : http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t41536/?highlight=dreamguy
anotherconfusedlover Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 another confused lover... you are in the little stage called denial..... whatever. why are you saying it's denial to care about someone after they are no longer your "property"? I still care about my ex from years ago and talk to her now and then, its not like I think we are going to get married one day. Love is not about going thru psycho babble stages. we are all not computers running the same program. Maybe I think a guy has a resposibility outside of himself. Sure he can't let himself be taken advantage of, but you don't have to be a prick to someone with NC and "i don't care about you at all" BS. You just have to be like yeah its done that was fun, what is next. Who knows maybe you're ex is calling you to hook you up with a hot friend.
westernxer Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 Who knows maybe you're ex is calling you to hook you up with a hot friend. Yeah, and I'm the next pope.
anotherconfusedlover Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 Yeah, and I'm the next pope. yeah that was a stretch . i just think you can show your ex your over it by justing telling them that you are if they ask. in my situation if i really didn't think my ex had a mental disease than i would want her to suffer from my loss, but that's not the case. if you decide for yourself that you are better off with them gone than none of these games matter anymore to you.
head/heels Posted October 31, 2005 Posted October 31, 2005 lets just leave it at that.... i wont even comment on how insane it is to still talk to an ex who left you for another guy...let me see.....talk to her about what exactly>?? maybe the three of u can watch monday night football together and talk about you being the maid of honor in their wedding.......or maybe the flower girl!
anotherconfusedlover Posted October 31, 2005 Posted October 31, 2005 lets just leave it at that.... i wont even comment on how insane it is to still talk to an ex who left you for another guy...let me see.....talk to her about what exactly>?? maybe the three of u can watch monday night football together and talk about you being the maid of honor in their wedding.......or maybe the flower girl! I will have a better girl for me sooner than later. I know change is good, maybe you have not accepted that yet. It is not insane to forgive someone. You are showing that you have some anger issues and have not forgiven yourself or your ex(s). But it is kinda funny at least... I am not being weak by talking to her if she wants to, okay? I would be weak & stupid to hope that we were going to be back together. But that is not the case. And I sure as hell would not let her talk about her new love life to me.
J dub Posted October 31, 2005 Posted October 31, 2005 whatever. why are you saying it's denial to care about someone after they are no longer your "property"? I still care about my ex from years ago and talk to her now and then, its not like I think we are going to get married one day. Love is not about going thru psycho babble stages. we are all not computers running the same program. Maybe I think a guy has a resposibility outside of himself. Sure he can't let himself be taken advantage of, but you don't have to be a prick to someone with NC and "i don't care about you at all" BS. You just have to be like yeah its done that was fun, what is next. Who knows maybe you're ex is calling you to hook you up with a hot friend. Is it selfish to expect to be treated in the same manner we treat others? Dont you deserve to be treated with dignity, respect, honor and love like you are (for some reason I cant determine) for her? Love is definitely anything opposite of psycho, thats for sure. Nope, we're not computers running on the same program, I agree. But we're also not computers.
J dub Posted October 31, 2005 Posted October 31, 2005 damn...hit submit before I was done. head/heels, I have been confused for quite some time when it comes to anotherconfusedlover's ideal way of living his life. See, he has this interest in self-inflicted-abuse upon his heart by refusing to move on and forget about ol' whats-her-face. I mean, if you want to invite your ex and the ex's new love interest to come crash at your place because they have no where else to go, that's your perogative. But don't even bother denying that youre being totally spineless if youre gonna go do that cuz that's just baloney (or should I spell it bologna, anotherconfusedlover?)
anotherconfusedlover Posted October 31, 2005 Posted October 31, 2005 Is it selfish to expect to be treated in the same manner we treat others? Dont you deserve to be treated with dignity, respect, honor and love like you are (for some reason I cant determine) for her? Yes, of course JDUB thats 100% true. It isn't selfish to want to get an equal amount of respect and attention that you give. But life doesn't always work like that, the rules aren't always followed. And when they are not followed by someone you care for, the best thing you can do is to forgive that person and let go of all negative or "wanting" feelings. Not so you can make them reconsider but for your own well being. Not letting go of the anger is really a bad choice. Not to sound like a dork but it's the choice between the light and dark side of how to channel your thoughts and actions. I can deal with talking to her or seeing her occasionally at her whim, if anything it will show her that I have moved on. I do not envy her new BF. She needs all the help that she can get. Once the romantic relationship ends than you are temporarily crazy because you do imagine that it could be again, but sorry no dice on that one. No matter what the reason you just gotta try to be a good person and not attempt to get revenge or hurt someone that loved you.
scobro Posted October 31, 2005 Posted October 31, 2005 Who knows maybe you're ex is calling you to hook you up with a hot friend Yeah right! That is what most ex girlfriends want to do.Denial is not just a river in Africa;)
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