Ray_xx Posted January 7, 2023 Posted January 7, 2023 Started chatting to a guy on Tinder a few months ago and we matched and started texting and I actually know him through mutual friends. We both fancy each other, get on well via text messages and he seems a sweet guy. He drinks in an area that I sometimes go and a few weeks back I put a social media story up of me in this bar. One hour later he turned up and sat directly next to me so I went over and said hi and he was pleasant and we had a chat. (He definitely turned up as knew I was there but anyway) I left that evening and he text saying he had come back to look for me and asked where I had gone. Anyway since then we have text and he told me ''how much he wanted to see me asap'' and we planned to go out. That week he cancelled so I was cool with it. We have text since and spoke about when we go out etc but he still hasn't said when. It's been a week since we last spoke and I just can not be bothered. I do like him and don't tend to feel like this towards men as soon as I have but what is he playing at? I feel he is either shy or just not bothered for me...
Wiseman2 Posted January 7, 2023 Posted January 7, 2023 8 minutes ago, Ray_xx said: I feel he is either shy or just not bothered for me... Sorry this is happening. While he seems somewhat interested he's not asking you out and that's a red flag. Perhaps he's lazy or in a relationship, but step back and cut back on texting or staged run-ins. Don't pursue him. If he wants to date you let him step up and make it happen.
Author Ray_xx Posted January 7, 2023 Author Posted January 7, 2023 (edited) Thanks Wiseman I have already backed off as I am a 30 year old women and I don't chase anyone (literally) you just hit the nail ''if wants me he will step up and ask'' Edited January 7, 2023 by Ray_xx 2
glows Posted January 7, 2023 Posted January 7, 2023 Some people cannot make commitments as simple as meeting up for an hour. What struck me was he didn’t ask you out but followed you to the bar knowing you were there on from a social media post. Seems convenient and low effort. When he asked you out, he cancelled - did he say why? And lastly he hasn’t asked you out again. I agree it’s a red flag if he cannot stick to simple appointments or hesitates to put in the effort. It’s lukewarm or whenever it is convenient for him at this point. 2
Fox Sake Posted January 7, 2023 Posted January 7, 2023 1 hour ago, Ray_xx said: Started chatting to a guy on Tinder a few months ago and we matched and started texting and I actually know him through mutual friends. We both fancy each other, get on well via text messages and he seems a sweet guy. He drinks in an area that I sometimes go and a few weeks back I put a social media story up of me in this bar. One hour later he turned up and sat directly next to me so I went over and said hi and he was pleasant and we had a chat. (He definitely turned up as knew I was there but anyway) I left that evening and he text saying he had come back to look for me and asked where I had gone. Anyway since then we have text and he told me ''how much he wanted to see me asap'' and we planned to go out. That week he cancelled so I was cool with it. We have text since and spoke about when we go out etc but he still hasn't said when. It's been a week since we last spoke and I just can not be bothered. I do like him and don't tend to feel like this towards men as soon as I have but what is he playing at? I feel he is either shy or just not bothered for me... Do you think it’s possible you’re feeling “like this so soon” because he essentially is showing signs of rejection? This can make us have knee jerk reactions that make you question your own value and attraction. Push-pull sort of thing. 2
stillafool Posted January 8, 2023 Posted January 8, 2023 He's probably dating around and that's why he hasn't gotten back to saying when he wants to meet. I would carry on with my life and put him out of my mind until he reaches out with a time and date to meet. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted January 8, 2023 Posted January 8, 2023 On 1/7/2023 at 10:53 AM, Ray_xx said: Started chatting to a guy on Tinder a few months ago and we matched and started texting and I actually know him through mutual friends. We both fancy each other, get on well via text messages and he seems a sweet guy. He drinks in an area that I sometimes go and a few weeks back I put a social media story up of me in this bar. One hour later he turned up and sat directly next to me so I went over and said hi and he was pleasant and we had a chat. (He definitely turned up as knew I was there but anyway) I left that evening and he text saying he had come back to look for me and asked where I had gone. Anyway since then we have text and he told me ''how much he wanted to see me asap'' and we planned to go out. That week he cancelled so I was cool with it. We have text since and spoke about when we go out etc but he still hasn't said when. It's been a week since we last spoke and I just can not be bothered. I do like him and don't tend to feel like this towards men as soon as I have but what is he playing at? I feel he is either shy or just not bothered for me... I would move forward with dating other guys. He may have met someone else or he may not be interested enough. If he really is shy to this extent he's not for you anyway because you're obviously not the type to make moves first. You don't want to drag sometimes me through a relationship. Just keep looking around.
smackie9 Posted January 10, 2023 Posted January 10, 2023 An interested man makes an effort and stops at nothing to see you/impress you. Don't settle for lukewarm. 1
Author Ray_xx Posted January 11, 2023 Author Posted January 11, 2023 13 hours ago, smackie9 said: An interested man makes an effort and stops at nothing to see you/impress you. Don't settle for lukewarm. ABSOLUTLEY said it in one sentence
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