basscatcher Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Ah, update from previous 2 posts. All is going well in my land. Mr. Landscaper and I are still dating and everything is wonderful so far. We have not done the "deed". I've adjusted well.. For being a nympho.. My girlfriend interregated him last night. Her bf was feedig him Mac/Pepsi's got him a little tipsy while she fired questions at him. He was so cool, calm and collected. He keep asking her to keep asking him questions. He said he enjoyed the questions. He looked at me smiled and laughed and said "you should be asking me all this." I told him I don't need too. Not yet anyway. I'm very content where we are standing and I think the pace is good and healthy. He admitted that he was developing feelings for me and that I am not a casual date. He stated there was no one else he was seeing or was interested in seeing. "Oh, that made me feel so good!!!" He called me today at lunch break and asked me if my son and myself would like to join him and his kids for supper. So I can meet them. WOW this feels so good.. I've never had a relationship go so easy and felt so nice. Tonight will be a big test: will his kids accept me? will they be the demise of what we have started? My son is open to people but they have to prove themselves to him. He just wants to make sure I am treated with respect and that the man isn't using me. I'm feeling nervous.. I've never been nervous about meeting kids before. WOW...
Art_Critic Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Great !!! Sounds like you guys are hitting it off It won't be long and your landscaper will be plowing your field.
Author basscatcher Posted October 26, 2005 Author Posted October 26, 2005 My field? :lmao: We are both deprived do ya think we would be able to cut through the weeds first? Might break a disk or two. :lmao: That plow wont last!! The grass might grow and have to be cut before it cuts into the land...
Lishy Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Good luck Pad .... Great to hear a happy story!!!!! Keep us informed!!
Topper Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 So all this talk about fields and plows and weeds is really talking about sex right? Yeah it's hard to pull one over on me. lol It's good to read a happy post here about a healthy relationship.
Author basscatcher Posted October 26, 2005 Author Posted October 26, 2005 So all this talk about fields and plows and weeds is really talking about sex right? Yeah it's hard to pull one over on me. lol It's good to read a happy post here about a healthy relationship. If this stays healthy and happy it will be the first genuine one I've ever had. NO DRAMA.. and I met him through a local dating service called "Together Dating". He is my 3rd match. When I registered I went in with a very picky attitude and I was VERY detailed in who I was looking for in a partner. I didn't think they would find someone to match my standards. Is this 3rd time a charm: as they say? I find him to be more and more handsome as each day goes by. He is so good to me, He keeps me interested with some mystery yet he totally respects me. I can actually be myself around him. So the kids now. Why the hell am I so nervous? I have never been this nervous about meeting a mans kids...
Lishy Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 you will be fine!!!! you are nervouse because it's important and you know it! Just be yourself and try not to worry or fuss them too much Good luck and keep us informed!!!!!!!
ThumbingMyWay Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 awesome pada...I really hope this is the one you deserve it! and so does he
Mz. Pixie Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Good luck Pad, let us know how it goes. NO DRAMA is good- focus on that!
Lishy Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 There you are again TMW ........ are you following me? ::Wink::
Author basscatcher Posted October 26, 2005 Author Posted October 26, 2005 WOW, Thanks for all the support and words of encouragement. He is a great guy and is very laid back, easy going.. He says his kids are like him in the most part so that should be a huge relief.
lilmoma1973 Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 I am so glad things are going so great !!! Good luck keep us posted!!!
Hot Coco Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Lishy, did you hear that? No drama! So easy! Remember what I said on your post. This sounds like the real thing without me knowing anything else! Pad, I'm just curious because I was kind of following another post of yours a while ago. You went out with a guy you met from an online dating service I think. You weren't super attracted to him but you had a couple of great dates with him. You made him ribs at your house I remember. He wanted to take it slow. Is this the same guy? If not what happened to him? He sounded nice. I guess I've missed your other posts on this guy (if it's a different guy) but I was just telling Lishy that when it's the REAL thing there's no drama. It's very easy. There are no games like playing hard to get, or the guy waiting a certain amount of days, etc. They come right out and are honest with their feelings. It was like that from DAY ONE with my H. He proposed 4 weeks later and we got married 7 months after that. We just celebrated our 10 year anniversary in June. Sounds really great Pad. Good luck!
Lishy Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Wow HC thats is so great! I know what you mean, it should be so easy without drama - I guess it's about finding the right person rather than holding onto the wrong one!
Author basscatcher Posted October 26, 2005 Author Posted October 26, 2005 Lishy, did you hear that? No drama! So easy! Remember what I said on your post. This sounds like the real thing without me knowing anything else! Pad, I'm just curious because I was kind of following another post of yours a while ago. You went out with a guy you met from an online dating service I think. You weren't super attracted to him but you had a couple of great dates with him. You made him ribs at your house I remember. He wanted to take it slow. Is this the same guy? If not what happened to him? He sounded nice. I guess I've missed your other posts on this guy (if it's a different guy) but I was just telling Lishy that when it's the REAL thing there's no drama. It's very easy. There are no games like playing hard to get, or the guy waiting a certain amount of days, etc. They come right out and are honest with their feelings. It was like that from DAY ONE with my H. He proposed 4 weeks later and we got married 7 months after that. We just celebrated our 10 year anniversary in June. Sounds really great Pad. Good luck! SAME GUY... YES YES YES. .. NO DRAMA... for the first time in my life there is no drama, no games, no chase or anything. its great, its natural, I don't even feel like I need to bombard him about his past. Thats rare for me. I take him for who he is and the vibes I get from him.. He has called me every day since the first day he called me. We see each other 5 evening out of a week. I am usually at my gfs apt. which is like half way between our homes. He picks me up there we go to a local bar/grill and have a few beers, visit, we cuddle in the parking lot usually in his vehicle for about 30 mins. or we just stand in the parking lot in each others arms for about 15 minutes and then we head home. Its not like we spend hours and hours together.. But the time we do spend is so precious and I cherish the minutes. NO DRAMA.. NO GAMES.. Pure, honest, forward, direct. I have been through just about everything there is to go through in life for being 36 years old. (my bday is Nov 1. wooooooo) So I don't want anymore drama and shyt in my life... I have struggled to find a man like him.. Believe me.. I've got my bumps, bruises, low self estemm, negativity, stupidity and many lessons down pat.
Hot Coco Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Wow! It DOES sound like the REAL thing! I'm sure people will say "how can you know...you don't know yet..you don't really know him" blah blah but I know what real love looks like. I've had my share of heart ache (I'm 44) and I know what it looks like. This really DOES sound like it to me. And you're SO smart to take the sex part slow. I haven't always done that in my life but H and I did and we became very good friends first. It was hard (pardon the pun) to not get physical though but we did wait a while (no, I won't say how long!: ) But it was the right thing to do. Sex clouds everything. We had to be sure of how we felt about each other first. Sounds like what you 2 are doing. I hope you keep us all posted. I think it's good for others to see this too. To see the way it's SUPPOSED to go. Good luck!
Author basscatcher Posted October 26, 2005 Author Posted October 26, 2005 I do agree "the way its suppose to be". Its the way I always thought it should be. I enjoyed to persuit of chasing the hard to get guy but it was always painful, confusing and never never lasted. I've been intregued with the bad boys and have had fun with them but again it was/is always painful, confusing and never never lasted either. For someone who is serious about finding love they shouldn't settle for the games and think they can win those bad boys over. It typically doesnt happen that often.. Those boys need to grow up still. They act like selfish, game playing 16 year olds when they are in their late 20s, 30s, 40s, even in their 50s.. I wont put up with shyt anymore. NO way.. I have noticed the conditioning I have been going through with the last 3 relationships. None of the three worked out but I did walk away with new values, morals, and with the knowledge of what I want and don't want. Mr. Landscaper so far is fitting my order..
Hot Coco Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 That's so great Pad. And you know what I else I think? I've kind of been trying to get this point across earlier in another post. You're putting out a vibe now that you know EXACTLY what you want so those "bad boys" know to stay away. It's like I was telling someone earlier today. She kind of put out a bad vibe that she thinks there are no good guys. And I was trying to explain that of course she's not meeting them with that kind of mentality. The good ones will SMELL that kind of attitude and RUN! So when you say that your last relationships kind of told you want you wanted and didn't want well...that "vibe" comes across. No one is going to "mess with you" now. Well, not the wrong kind anyway. I firmly, firmly believe this because once I took on the attitude that I will NOT settle and knew exactly what I wanted that's when I started meeting the "good guys." That's when I met my H. There are many good lessons to be learned here from your experiences.
Author basscatcher Posted October 27, 2005 Author Posted October 27, 2005 WOW--HE HAS GREAT KIDS..... Everything went very well last night... We were all quiet for about the first hour but after we all ate Pizza his youngest wanted to go back to my house. Mr. Landscaper was surprised at how chatty his youngest was and that he asked several times to go back to my place. Everyone had relaxed a bit more by then. So we went back to my home and we all just hung out and visited some more. My first impression was "Geeze, they are tiny". My son stands over 6 ft tall so to see short short little people was very different. I haven't had many little kids in my life for the past 3 years so it was different. His children spoke intelligently. I was very impressed with them. Their energy was refreshing. I even joked with his 14 yr old. He was sitting on the arm of the couch next to his dad and he looked like he was going to tip over off it so I reached over and have him a little push. He caught his balance and looked at me weird with a little smile on his face and I siad "you looked like you were going to fall over so I thought I would help you a little." Mr. Landscaper said he will get me back eventually. He is his prankster. So I look forward to the little paybacks that are to come.. hehehe Mr. Landscaper said that his children liked me. He had a hard time getting his youngest and his daughter to leave last night. They wanted to stay longer. LOL it was already 9:20 pm. I told them they are welcome in my home anytime they want to come over. We are planning and maybe all getting together at my gf's house for the Wild Hockey game Friday night. My gf invited all of us over for it and we would order pizza, pop, buy a bunch of junk food and make it late night. I am so looking forward to it. Mr. Landscaper called me when he got home and he really opened up about a lot of stuff. I now understand why he is taking it really slow with me. He is still in transition from his exgf to me. He didn't get much time to himself before we were introduced. He said when he kisses me and opens his eyes and see's my blue eyes it sometimes freaks him out because he is use to having brown eyes looking back at him. He still needs to heal more from his past gf.. Wow I didn't want to get into another relationship like this again with a guy who was still healing but I guess thats the breaks in life and I need to be patient and not get flakey. I do understand where he is at and that taking it slowly is a good thing. Not JUST for him to continue healing but also for me to grow as well-learn more patience. So all is good. One day at a time..
Art_Critic Posted October 27, 2005 Posted October 27, 2005 He still needs to heal more from his past gf.. Wow I didn't want to get into another relationship like this again with a guy who was still healing but I guess thats the breaks in life and I need to be patient and not get flakey. I do understand where he is at and that taking it slowly is a good thing. Not for him to continue healing but also for me to grow as well. So all is good. One day at a time.. On No... I'm glad that you had a super time.. I can sense I heartbreak for you. Tread lightly for a while till you see which way he is going to fall..
Author basscatcher Posted October 27, 2005 Author Posted October 27, 2005 On No... I'm glad that you had a super time.. I can sense I heartbreak for you. Tread lightly for a while till you see which way he is going to fall.. Yep I know.. I already feel my feelings growing for him.. I can't stop them. It's going to happen whether or not I want it too when I am spending so much time with him. He is already infused into my thoughts daily. He is always on my mind. I have been in his shoes before. I understand exactly where he is at and he has explained to me and to my gf that he will not go back with the xgf. He said he was with her for 3 years living through hell. He spoke to her on the phone yesterday and he said he told her about me and he made it clear to her and made sure she understood that he is not going back to her. She asked to remain friends and he said he told her NO that it wasnt a good idea with their history. He said it is over. He is moving forward. He said she understood and admitted they wouldn't work out. She said she doesnt want to get married so that makes their relationship a dead end. He said he has had enough of her treatment and wants to be in a less dramatic relationship that will move forward. He was a yo-yo to her and he was starved most of the time.. I am the complete opposite of her: She was cold, I am warm She was not affectionate, I am very affectionate. She didn't cuddle, I am a cuddle bug She was mouthy and really loud, I am laid back, speak my mind but with diplomacy. She dresses very provocative and majorly flirts with all men, i dress sexy too but not sluty and I don't flirt around for all mens attention. She doesn't want to be touched unless she asks for it, I want to be touched all the time-anytime. She is extrememly moody, I am not. She is very independant, I compromise. She is tall and brunette, I am average height and strawberry blonde. She has brown eyes, mine are blue, She is a tough woman (biker reputation) in attitude, I am definetly pure female with tomboyish interests. She and I are so different in so many ways that she is night and I am day. He laughed and told me he refers to his friends as she is the devil and I am the angel.. haha I am relationship/marriage material, she is not.... We just need to take it fairly slow. I am letting his drive the horse and carriage because he knows how fast or slow he needs to go and I am fine with him being in control of this.. He is already developing feelings for me and he wanted me to meet his kids and he wanted to tell the xgf about me. All that is done now. He has opened up to me about his position too. So he can relax a little more. I am not going anywhere. He is such a great guy it is worth being patient and being understanding. I have been in his shoes. So I do truly understand..
Art_Critic Posted October 27, 2005 Posted October 27, 2005 If he is still talking to her then he is not over her yet.. What do you think he would do if next month she decided that marriage is something that she wants ? If they are still taking each others calls then she might sway her feelings to something like that.. Like you said... SLOW
Author basscatcher Posted October 27, 2005 Author Posted October 27, 2005 If he is still talking to her then he is not over her yet.. What do you think he would do if next month she decided that marriage is something that she wants ? If they are still taking each others calls then she might sway her feelings to something like that.. Like you said... SLOW They hadn't spoken in over a month. He told her to not call him anymore. (that was before I came into the pic.). She called him friday and he ignored her call and he finally returned it yesterday. He told me about it immediately. He said he needed to face her and tell her about me and to make sure she understands NC is NC.... Its over. They were engaged for a short time. She is flakey, on lots and lots of meds. She is scitzoid... She has a lot of mental issues. They have been through this many times before during a 3 year period. She has multipule personalities. He doesn't want it anymore... He is fed up and sick of it. He is done by choice....
alphamale Posted October 27, 2005 Posted October 27, 2005 They hadn't spoken in over a month. He told her to not call him anymore. (that was before I came into the pic.). Can you confirm this 100%? She called him friday and he ignored her call and he finally returned it yesterday. He told me about it immediately. He said he needed to face her and tell her about me and to make sure she understands NC is NC.... Its over. you sure she did not leave him PADA?? They were engaged for a short time. not a good sign... He doesn't want it anymore... He is fed up and sick of it. He is done by choice.... if she left him then he may be usuing you to make her jealous and come back...be mighty careful.
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