Friend zoned

[JB96x]

Hello everyone hope you’re all well

So for the first time properly I’ve been friend zoned and you know what it actually hurts a little I think it’s more my ego that’s hurting rather than my heart lol as I only spoke to this girl for 5 days or so so luckily there was no attachment and I respect her for nipping it in the bud before attachment occurred. 
So I met this girl on a dating app, we got talking and then we added each other on social media and so she obviously finds me physically attractive or she wouldn’t of liked me on the app and I know this as she’s told me herself she finds me very good looking and attractive and she actually said she couldn’t believe I was single as I’m “so good looking and sweet” and that’s the reason she added me ok social media as she didn’t believe I was single lol .

Anyway so we share so many common interests and hobbies it’s crazy and we’ve been chatting the past 5/6 days anyway she told me last night “ I’ve had some personal things pop up in my head this weekend and I’m just thinking there’s no point in me trying to settle or date as I’m all over place and don’t want to lead you on” which I think she was just trying to let me down lightly lol she then proceeded to say “I get more of a friend vibe with you, like I feel we could be best friends” and basically friend zoned me.

Now I’m just slightly confused as this has never happened before to me and what I’m struggling to understand is how can she friend zone me if she finds me so physically attractive? It just doesn’t make sense to me. 
Hope someone can give me an answer of why this could of happened and how that’s possible even?

Thank you.

[ExpatInItaly]

It might be an excuse. 

She could be dating someone else or perhaps an ex came back. Maybe she saw something in your social media that put her off. I wouldn't spend too much time wondering about it. But don't assume being physically attractive to someone means you won't get friend-zoned. I've met several good-looking men in my life and I didn't want to date all of them. Sometimes the chemistry just isn't there. 

Just chalk it up to a mismatch, delete her from your socials, and keep moving. 

[JTSW]

People can definitely find a person attractive without feeling attracted to them. 

My guess here is that she met someone else.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, JB96x said:

 I met this girl on a dating app, we got talking and then we added each other on social media 

Try not to fall into the collecting followers trap.

The main point in dating apps is to introduce yourself and set up an in person date. Only in person meetings will tell you whether you're attracted or not.

Making a series of lateral moves from dating apps to socal media to texting etc. does increase your chances of being friendzoned. Because while you're doing that, women are going on dates with men they feel are more interested and take initiative.

Next time meet asap rather than exchange social media and chitchatting this much.

 

[basil67]

2 hours ago, JB96x said:

I’m struggling to understand is how can she friend zone me if she finds me so physically attractive? It just doesn’t make sense to me. 
Hope someone can give me an answer of why this could of happened and how that’s possible even?

For sure it's possible.  A person can be physically attractive but it won't work out for many reasons.  The most likely reason would be that there's nothing actually wrong with the attractive person, but they feel you don't connect in conversation.   It truly can happen where one person thinks the conversation was great and it doesn't work for the other.   And yes, terribly confusing for the one who thought it was great.  

[JB96x]

1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:

It might be an excuse. 

She could be dating someone else or perhaps an ex came back. Maybe she saw something in your social media that put her off. I wouldn't spend too much time wondering about it. But don't assume being physically attractive to someone means you won't get friend-zoned. I've met several good-looking men in my life and I didn't want to date all of them. Sometimes the chemistry just isn't there. 

Just chalk it up to a mismatch, delete her from your socials, and keep moving. 

Yes I think it’s most likely this, who knows but it wasn’t anything that she didn’t like on my socials as I don’t have anything on there at all as I don’t use them. 
 

17 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Try not to fall into the collecting followers trap.

The main point in dating apps is to introduce yourself and set up an in person date. Only in person meetings will tell you whether you're attracted or not.

Making a series of lateral moves from dating apps to socal media to texting etc. does increase your chances of being friendzoned. Because while you're doing that, women are going on dates with men they feel are more interested and take initiative.

Next time meet asap rather than exchange social media and chitchatting this much.

 

Yes I agree, the only reason was she didn’t believe I was single as in her own words she thought “I was too good looking and sweet to be true” and she thought I must already be with someone lol that was the only reason

 

59 minutes ago, JTSW said:

People can definitely find a person attractive without feeling attracted to them. 

My guess here is that she met someone else.

Yes quite possibly

[Calmandfocused]

57 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Try not to fall into the collecting followers trap.

The main point in dating apps is to introduce yourself and set up an in person date. Only in person meetings will tell you whether you're attracted or not.

Making a series of lateral moves from dating apps to socal media to texting etc. does increase your chances of being friendzoned. Because while you're doing that, women are going on dates with men they feel are more interested and take initiative.

Next time meet asap rather than exchange social media and chitchatting this much.

 

Agree with Wiseman. The reason you have been friendzoned is because you have been dilly dallying about “chatting” without making a proper move and asking her out. 
 

You cannot get sexually attracted to someone over text/ social media. That is not dating! 
 

Evidently some of other guy knows the score and has swiftly moved in there. You snooze you lose. 
 

Let this be a lesson to you. If you’re interested in a woman get off the technology and get on with asking her out. 

[ExpatInItaly]

1 hour ago, JB96x said:

it wasn’t anything that she didn’t like on my socials as I don’t have anything on there at all as I don’t use them.

In that case, why did you add her? You don't know her and there's nothing for her to see. 

[glows]

7 hours ago, JB96x said:

Now I’m just slightly confused as this has never happened before to me and what I’m struggling to understand is how can she friend zone me if she finds me so physically attractive?

The thing to do when meeting someone online is to ask them out on a date relatively early on. Different people will be comfortable with different timelines. I hear some prefer a week of chatting. Others won’t continue talking with you past the first 30 minutes if you haven’t asked them out on a date. 

What was on her profile? Sometimes people post profiles with attractive photos and a two line write up or hardly anything at all. Were you hooked by her photos and compliments? You end up getting lost in long winded chats like this and trying to figure out a person. I notice the new thing is to check someone out on IG as an added security to see whether they’re legitimate and access more photos. That’s fine if you’re into that sort of thing but try asking her out next time a little earlier. 

[BreakOnThrough]

Quit wasting your time and meet people in person, forget about all the other online noise.

[smackie9]

Dude you were an option in a sea of other opportunities. If you want things to be real go out and meet people irl, and stop with this chatting crap on line. If they are on a dating app, ask them out for a meet up after a few exchanges.