Fell on my behind ankle breaking status on a date omg Im humiliated

[CalipsoRose]

I was on our third date and we were at the very end where he was walking me to my car at the end of his very long corridor of a hallway out of his apartment building. I was wearing 6-7 inch heels, and I ended up falling like one of those runway models that look like they're breaking their ankles falling, gruesomely. I fell on my a** then on my back, somehow ended up turning completely around, face looking up at the ceiling. He grabbed my arm and and helped me up but omg I am so embarrassed.

We each had like 3-4 beers but still. Is this horribly embarrassing? I feel like he may have gotten second hand embarrassment for me. He didn't laugh, he didn't say much at all other than help me up.  I said "Well if we're going to date for a long time then you'll probably see me fall a lot haha" I dont think he said anything (maybe he smiled? I dont know. He was tired though.)

 if you were a guy would you seriously judge a woman for doing that and it would be a dealbreaker (as in so embarrassing or judging me for being clumsy or stupid or too drunk or any variation of).

[ccas93]

I think the complete lack of a reaction from him is what was awkward. If she does that around me on a date, I'll help her laugh it off/make sure she's ok

[basil67]

I would have expected for him to ask you if you were ok.  Find out if you needed any first aid

Anyway, falling over should not be embarrassing because it's an accident.  That said, if your statement "if we're going to date for a long time then you'll probably see me fall a lot" is literally true AND it's due to your shoe choice, then he's likely going to start judging your choices. 

Wear sensible heels/cool sneakers with your dress and stay comfortable and safe.

Edited December 13, 2022 by basil67

[Alvi]

7 hours ago, CalipsoRose said:

Is this horribly embarrassing? I feel like he may have gotten second hand embarrassment for me. He didn't laugh, he didn't say much at all other than help me up. 

Sorry, this guy is NOT a keeper. I am a very clumsy person and this is who I am. If a guy can't laugh with me about it, well, so be it. Second hand embarrassment? Oh, good grief, lol. He didn't even asked if you were OK. That is absolutely not someone that you should have a relationship with. He seems to lack empathy. Maybe he thought that you were drunk but still.

7 hours ago, CalipsoRose said:

if you were a guy would you seriously judge a woman for doing that and it would be a dealbreaker

You seriously don't want to date a guy who thinks that accidental fall is a dealbreaker. Don't know what else to say except, NEXT. 

[Lotsgoingon]

OMG, stop me from dating someone, a fall like this? The only possibility of that is if I thought you drank way too much.

I would definitely laugh in helping you up. I might have brought you back to my place to allow you time to sit and settle your nerves and get your bearings. If I really liked you, I'd spend time giving you a hug and consoling you (and laughing).  I'd attend to your ankle, check on if it's swelling. Give you some paid meds. Take you to the hospital if the ankle was swelling badly and causing you lots of pain. 

And I'd walk you out slowly so you can easily get to your car without a problem. 

 

 

 

[glows]

I’m so sorry and hope you’re ok. A similar thing happened to me a long time ago. It was way back when I was a student and I was meeting a date at one of the bars. Like you I was also in high heels. I slipped for some reason when I was getting up and slid under the table. Everything was dark very quickly. Thankfully my date was easygoing and he joked later he couldn’t figure out how I disappeared so quickly. It was so funny. I was bruised but also laughing. 

I’m sure he wouldn’t hold it against you. He might have kept a bit quiet so as not to make you feel self-conscious. Anyway, I feel you.
 

[ExpatInItaly]

If a guy judges you for falling, that is not a clown you want in your life. 

And honestly, him barely reacting is strange. Not sure he is a keeper anyway. 

[CalipsoRose]

59 minutes ago, Lotsgoingon said:

OMG, stop me from dating someone, a fall like this? The only possibility of that is if I thought you drank way too much.

But I did drink too much  he was drinking too though. We were both a bit tipsy/drunk.

 

[ExpatInItaly]

1 hour ago, CalipsoRose said:

But I did drink too much

If anything, this might put him off. 

 

[CalipsoRose]

10 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

If anything, this might put him off. 

 

even though he also was?

[ExpatInItaly]

4 minutes ago, CalipsoRose said:

even though he also was?

Perhaps, if you went overboard. 

It might not be a fair judgment. But if he was going to hold anything against you, I doubt it would be the fall but rather not knowing your limit with alcohol. It depends on the guy. Some won't care, others will see it as sloppy date behaviour. 

[CalipsoRose]

I dont think I acted sloppy, I was still very coherent. Obviously during the fall I was super dizzy but I wasn't slurring or anything.

[ExpatInItaly]

8 minutes ago, CalipsoRose said:

I dont think I acted sloppy, I was still very coherent. Obviously during the fall I was super dizzy but I wasn't slurring or anything.

Then I wouldn't worry about it. 

Out of curiosity, though, why do you assume someone would judge you for falling? 

[CalipsoRose]

5 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Then I wouldn't worry about it. 

Out of curiosity, though, why do you assume someone would judge you for falling? 

Cuz it was such an ugly, non-graceful fall (I know falls arent graceful) but the way those tall chunky heels were, I literally bent like both of my ankles fully in half and tumbled/tripped, somehow spun around and landed on my butt, then back, then completely flat position. Then he helped me up, I probably couldn't remember his reaction due to my brain blacking out momentarily from sheer embarrassment. 

Also on our first date, he seemed to have been drinking before I even met him. I could almost detect a slight slur. I understand pre-date nerves so I didn't judge him for it. We've had 3 great dates since. So I hope he didn't judge me too bad even if I was drinking. 

Edited December 14, 2022 by CalipsoRose

[ExpatInItaly]

You have got to gain some confidence, girl. 

No decent guy is going to judge you for falling. Where did you even hear the term "break status"? 

[Alpacalia]

Ouch.

You're lucky you didn't nose dive and break a tooth.

I'd keep the heels under three inches when drinking.

It just makes practical sense.

Glad you're okay.

Edited December 14, 2022 by Alpacalia

[Els]

I'd be surprised if anyone DIDN'T fall while wearing 7 inch heels, even if they were completely sober!

[basil67]

13 hours ago, CalipsoRose said:

Cuz it was such an ugly, non-graceful fall (I know falls arent graceful) but the way those tall chunky heels were, I literally bent like both of my ankles fully in half and tumbled/tripped, somehow spun around and landed on my butt, then back, then completely flat position. Then he helped me up, I probably couldn't remember his reaction due to my brain blacking out momentarily from sheer embarrassment. 

Honestly, I think that nobody is going to judge you for an ugly fall.   However it wouldn't surprise me if your choice of footwear copped some judgement

You're lucky that you didn't get a compound fracture.  At my last first aid update, they said that such injuries are becoming very common with those tall heels.   

[Lotsgoingon]

Seriously no mature individual loses respect for another person based on a clumsy fall. Sorry: that's a myth. I know lots of people walk around in fear of this happening, but the basis of the fear is a complete myth.

In middle school, sure, when you are becoming a social being and your existence depends on how people respond to you (in the minds of middle schoolers) yes, a trip is embarrassing. But not with mature adults. 

Come on now. You know this. 

[Wiseman2]

On 12/13/2022 at 4:18 PM, CalipsoRose said:

  He didn't laugh, he didn't say much at all other than help me up.  I said "Well if we're going to date for a long time then you'll probably see me fall a lot haha".

He did the right thing under the circumstances. Why did you say that about falling a lot? Do you drink to take the edge off?

While one incident is no big deal,  the remark about falling a lot may cause someone to pause and reconsider if they want to babysit someone who drinks more than they can handle.

  You mentioned falling out of bed during sex after taking a few drinks to relax. While you were ok in this instance you may want to slow down on the drinking. 

Edited December 15, 2022 by Wiseman2

[Els]

19 hours ago, basil67 said:

Honestly, I think that nobody is going to judge you for an ugly fall.   However it wouldn't surprise me if your choice of footwear copped some judgement

You're lucky that you didn't get a compound fracture.  At my last first aid update, they said that such injuries are becoming very common with those tall heels.   

For real, lol. When H worked in the ER, they had a term for that - "PFO", or "pissed and fell over". Those folks came in regularly from the clubbing/bar district every Fri/Sat night, for injuries ranging from mild to life-changing... and the women greatly outnumbered the men. Doesn't take a genius to figure out why...

Like, I get that extreme high heels can be hot, but they really aren't made for any significant walking! Especially not when you've had a few drinks. Personally, I'd save them for bedroom use alone.

 

[Alpacalia]

It did not occur to me that you are the same poster who fell out of bed after drinking alcohol with the previous man you dated (the ex-inmate). Is it mandatory to drink on dates with men?

This is the second time that you have lost your balance and taken a tumble. Maybe you're wondering, "So I can't sip on a glass of sauv blanc with my roommates, while I blow-dry and straighten my hair?"

It's not all Debbie Downer, I'm a cocktail lover. It's fun, flirty, I get it.

When we need a spritz of liquid courage, alcohol can be just the thing. I wonder if that is the case here.

[basil67]

@CalipsoRose  I'd forgotten the falling out of bed thing.  Alcohol and heels aside, there is a common theme here:  Lack of ability to laugh at yourself.  I'm guessing it's based in lack of self confidence.   Perhaps explore the idea of learning to be able to laugh at yourself- it's a positive trait to have

[CalipsoRose]

15 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

He did the right thing under the circumstances. Why did you say that about falling a lot? Do you drink to take the edge off?

While one incident is no big deal,  the remark about falling a lot may cause someone to pause and reconsider if they want to babysit someone who drinks more than they can handle.

  You mentioned falling out of bed during sex after taking a few drinks to relax. While you were ok in this instance you may want to slow down on the drinking. 

No I actually said I was clumsy, so I just meant I'm a clutz. That was my way of laughing at myself. As in, if we're together for years he will most likely see me fall again at some point. We drink together and I havent gotten super drunk or wasted or sloppy around him I'd say, he also needed liquid courage on our first date as he was slightly slurring. I didn't care because I understand how it is.

Edited December 16, 2022 by CalipsoRose

[basil67]

18 hours ago, CalipsoRose said:

No I actually said I was clumsy, so I just meant I'm a clutz. That was my way of laughing at myself.

When I say learn to laugh at yourself, it also means to laugh it off.  That you feel humiliated means that rather than having a laugh and letting it go, you're taking yourself too seriously.