Is he a goldigger?

[misssyj]

I've been in a relationship with a guy for about a year or more on and off but we are serious now, and he's very tight with money like it was my birthday yesterday and I told him I'm booking a hotel for us and I paid £40 for hotwl and then I also paid his and my train ticket £32 and then he said he'd treat me to a birthday meal which cost £20 per head and he said I should give him £10 back for the meal... I didn't but then he brought it up half way saying look I didn't even ask money back for that meal..  he also brought me a pair of trainers but they was a "junior" size 5 for males I'm a female and I told him that and he said it isn't matter it's unisex when I looked online I find it was the cheapest trainers of selection that's prob why he got me them and he told me it cost him £55 pound but i checked it cost him £40 ..I told him it wasn't my style not something I'd wear but i appreciate his efforts and of I could swap it for something of my choice n he insisted I keep them as he really likes them and that they are unique so I kept them but I don't feel comfy in them deffo not my style I feel so awkward:/ and also I've got my own house now n want my own space but he always stays at mine n complains it's too cold to put heating on when I'm not n I am worried my gas bills to high ...I feel like I'm just spend way too much for him and when we go out he won't buy food cos he says it's expensive then I feel guilty and buy him but he never says thanks.

[ExpatInItaly]

Does he have a job? 

6 hours ago, misssyj said:

I've got my own house now n want my own space but he always stays at mine n complains it's too cold to put heating on when I'm not n I am worried my gas bills to high

Tell him to stop this immediately. He can bring an extra sweater if he's that cold. 

[Alpacalia]

Reminds me of a first date. I drove us in my car to our date location and turned the heat on in my car (freezing temps). He reached over and turned it off.

First and last date for me!

It's your house. Give him a blanket and ask him to stop turning up the heat. Why can't you go to his house for a change?

I'm sorry to say but I think you're dating someone that's a bit of a tightwad.

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, misssyj said:

 I've got my own house now n want my own space but he always stays at mine n complains it's too cold to put heating on.

Stop letting him stay over if you feel he's freeloading. It's really that simple. Stop paying for all your dates and outings.

Is he unemployed or homeless? Why are you housing and feeding him?

[Wiseman2]

11 hours ago, misssyj said:

 he always stays at mine.

He can't dig for gold if you close the mine. You seem to be enabling him in order to hang on to him.

[mortensorchid]

He sounds like a cheapskate.  If that's the case, you better be okay with that.  If not, this will continue as time goes on.  And it will get worse and worse in ways you can't imagine.  

[poppyfields]

What everyone else said. 

I apologize if this sounds rude but are you so desperate for a relationship that you settle for BS like this?

What's the appeal here?  What's positive about any of this? 

Serious question. 

P.S  I'm utterly appalled after buying you a birthday meal he asked for £10 back. 

And insisting you keep shoes that don't fit and you dislike. 

Again I ask, what the appeal? 

[smackie9]

He's not a gold digger, just a cheap a$$. You two are not compatible. Like I always say, date those who treat you the way you expect to be treated. You are not happy with this, so why put up with it? End the relationship ...there is no changing or fixing his ways. 

[Els]

17 hours ago, misssyj said:

then he said he'd treat me to a birthday meal which cost £20 per head and he said I should give him £10 back for the meal

What the actual....

I stopped reading here, lol. Seriously, who does this??? Decent people don't even do this to their friends on their birthday, let alone a romantic partner.

Just cut him loose already.