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Ex still has photo of me on his socials.

truelovewinsall23

By truelovewinsall23
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JTSW Established Member

JTSW

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Posted (edited)
20 hours ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

So I noticed he still has a photo of me on socials

 

19 hours ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

I just find it so odd why he hasn't removed it as it is a couple photo

 

19 hours ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

The reason I am asking the question is I feel like he might be regretting breaking up.

 

19 hours ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

I know if he wanted to he would delete them but im curious as to why he hasn't. 

 

19 hours ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

I am not sure if he's testing the waters, maybe is afraid to reach out and was hoping posting that would make me reach out. I know i am reaching with that idea lol but I thought maybe its his way of trying to get me to contact him as he's stubborn. 

But also I think if you do regret a decision whatever it might be you try to rectify as quick as possible. 

 

18 hours ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

Anyway, I just looked at the app and guess who was less then 547 meters from my home. My ex. Now I know he drives by it daily he has too for work however I don't know if he parked somewhere to see if he could see me on it? 

OP, you are really clinging to something that just isn't there.

You're even on the same dating app so you can see where he is.

You need to stop all this and let it go.

Stop watching his socials and get off that particular dating app (he was probably on a date in your area).

Also, photos still on socials means nothing and you're reading waaaaaay to much into it all.

You're acting obsessed and it's not healthy. 

He broke up with you for reason. Respect that and stop with all this obsessing.

Delete and block everything then move past it.

 

Edited by JTSW
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Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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20 hours ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

 we did have a big argument before and he deleted the photos of me. Out of anger, but this time it feels different.

Breakups hurt, so your friends and family are trying to soothe you.

Keep in mind that on/off relationships are fraught with unresolved incompatibilities and conflicts combined with unhealthy attachments and lack of other opportunities.

It's up to you to put an end to his games and rejection. That means making a clean break so you can move forward with dignity and self-respect.

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truelovewinsall23 Member

truelovewinsall23

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35 minutes ago, JTSW said:

 

 

 

 

 

OP, you are really clinging to something that just isn't there.

You're even on the same dating app so you can see where he is.

You need to stop all this and let it go.

Stop watching his socials and get off that particular dating app (he was probably on a date in your area).

Also, photos still on socials means nothing and you're reading waaaaaay to much into it all.

You're acting obsessed and it's not healthy. 

He broke up with you for reason. Respect that and stop with all this obsessing.

Delete and block everything then move past it.

 

I agree that it’s not healthy. I’ve been pushing myself in the gym and doing self care, got my teeth whitened, hair done a spray tan. All trying to focus on positives. 
 

it’s just been so hard and heartbreak that I didn’t even get an in person meeting to end it or even an apology for his behaviour I was just thrown aside and I think that made me feel heartbroken that someone could do that too me and I think me craving and hanging on is coming to an end now. 
 

I woke up after having a very hard think last night and decided I need to move on. I was in great form and then his housemate texted me asking if my ex could bring my stuff back to me. I told him to tell him to just bin them. Nothing of importance to me anyway. 

I haven’t spoke to him since we broke up, the only reason I saw him on the dating app was because when I opened it he must’ve been passing by. But it stung a lot. Especially given he had he was looking for dates. 

I think because it ended so badly in the sense we didn’t even see each other that I struggled and kept telling myself he will come back but now I realise if he wanted too he would have toched base by now

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JTSW Established Member

JTSW

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2 minutes ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

his housemate texted me asking if my ex could bring my stuff back to me.

This was the final closure.

Returning all your stuff means its definitely over.

You're doing great focusing on yourself now.

I wish you all the best x

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truelovewinsall23 Member

truelovewinsall23

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3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Breakups hurt, so your friends and family are trying to soothe you.

Keep in mind that on/off relationships are fraught with unresolved incompatibilities and conflicts combined with unhealthy attachments and lack of other opportunities.

It's up to you to put an end to his games and rejection. That means making a clean break so you can move forward with dignity and self-respect.

It wasn’t an on or off relationship, it was on all the time. I feel like there was someone or something involved. That led to him loosing it with me and being mean and unkind. 
 

I haven’t cheated or been anything other than a good girlfriend. I suppose why this hurt me over other break ups is not that we broke up but he didn’t think I was worth meeting and discussing where we went wrong. 

I got nothing like that, his reasons were not reasons they were excuses. People are allowed fall out of love and so on and I get that but this guy didn’t even tell me his worry’s until he broke up. 

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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12 minutes ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

. I suppose why this hurt me over other break ups is not that we broke up but he didn’t think I was worth meeting and discussing where we went wrong. 

The breakup is the closure. Unfortunately there's no more "we" after that. 

Meeting for postmortem relationship talks is just drawing out the pain. It's usually one person's attempt to plead and try to negotiate.

Clean breaks are better for both people to heal and move forward. Try to let go. You'll feel better than thinking he'll be back. Reflect if you would even want someone back who tossed you out like trash and immediately hopped on dating apps.

 

 

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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Posted (edited)
40 minutes ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

I suppose why this hurt me over other break ups is not that we broke up but he didn’t think I was worth meeting and discussing where we went wrong. 

Sometimes people just lose interest and want to move on to someone new or be alone.   You said he broke up with you because you weren't compatible.  What did he say wasn't compatible?  He must have named something.

Edited by stillafool
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truelovewinsall23 Member

truelovewinsall23

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52 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Sometimes people just lose interest and want to move on to someone new or be alone.   You said he broke up with you because you weren't compatible.  What did he say wasn't compatible?  He must have named something.

The below is the texts I got. 
 

You asked very early on if I was dating for a serious relationship. I said I was, because I thought I was, but I realise now that I don't. You're such an amazing girl. You did nothing wrong, I've always wondered if we were a good enough match because I can't help but see out differences. You've tried to reassure me of this in the past. This is just me freaking out because I'm not ready for something serious, and you deserve someone who does. We could have talked about this but it wouldn't have done anything.  Maybe I do need to date casually for a while. I really don't know.

I'm not used to a relationship this serous, and this isn't anything against you personally but I'm not ready to settle down for the rest of my life. I miss just being single, I don't have exact reasoning. I like the freedom of it. And I don't mean that for riding around. I was never into that.

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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7 minutes ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

The below is the texts I got. 
 

You asked very early on if I was dating for a serious relationship. I said I was, because I thought I was, but I realise now that I don't. You're such an amazing girl. You did nothing wrong, I've always wondered if we were a good enough match because I can't help but see out differences. You've tried to reassure me of this in the past. This is just me freaking out because I'm not ready for something serious, and you deserve someone who does. We could have talked about this but it wouldn't have done anything.  Maybe I do need to date casually for a while. I really don't know.

I'm not used to a relationship this serous, and this isn't anything against you personally but I'm not ready to settle down for the rest of my life. I miss just being single, I don't have exact reasoning. I like the freedom of it. And I don't mean that for riding around. I was never into that.

Yeah there was nothing that could be worked out by what he's said above.  He's just not ready for a relationship so there was nothing else to talk about, he's given you his reasons above.  This is why you need to delete and block him.  Not because he's a terrible person but to help you get over him.  By not deleting and blocking you will hold on to hope of hearing from him hoping he's changed his mind.  You aren't indifferent to him yet.  Stop looking at his social media.  I know it's hard.

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glows Established Member

glows

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It’s better he broke up with you now than a decade down the road or several years later. If a guy said that to me there would be no love lost. Brush yourself off, take a deep breath here and ride out those break up feelings (sadness, withdrawal, low energy etc). In a few weeks they’ll fade. It always does. 

Have a little more confidence in yourself. This one not working doesn’t mean all of them are bad. It doesn’t mean either that you’re unloveable. Take care of yourself and do the processing. Date again when you’re ready.

 

Edited by glows
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Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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31 minutes ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

I'm not ready to settle down for the rest of my life. I miss just being single, I don't have exact reasoning. I like the freedom of it. 

How long were you dating? How old is he? Were you pressing for marriage?

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truelovewinsall23 Member

truelovewinsall23

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31 minutes ago, stillafool said:

 

20 minutes ago, glows said:

It’s better he broke up with you now than a decade down the road or several years later. If a guy said that to me there would be no love lost. Brush yourself off, take a deep breath here and ride out those break up feelings (sadness, withdrawal, low energy etc). In a few weeks they’ll fade. It always does. 

Have a little more confidence in yourself. This one not working doesn’t mean all of them are bad. It doesn’t mean either that you’re unloveable. Take care of yourself and do the processing. Date again when you’re ready.

 

I agree, and those were the nice messages he sent. I won’t show the others as they were mean. I think because I wanted to understand it properly that’s why he started to get mean. 
 

I think because he wanted out he had to get mean so that I wouldn’t fight for him.

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truelovewinsall23 Member

truelovewinsall23

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14 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

How long were you dating? How old is he? Were you pressing for marriage?

No not at all, I joked about marriage with him and I said if that freaked you out that I won’t do it again and he said he didn’t mind it. He even went as far as saying he has thought about our proposal so I didn’t see an issue or see him as freaked out by it. 
 

He is 31 and I’m 29. 

I was showing him my friends engagement video that she sent to me and I was like awww isn’t that so beautiful. You better do something like that but I’m a joking way and maybe he picked it up wrong? 

That’s why I was willing to meet and talk because if it was something as silly as him getting freaked out I could have discussed it with him. I know it wasn’t but that’s why I wanted to meet but ended doing no contact to try break the pain 

NuevoYorko Established Member

NuevoYorko

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The break up text doesn't sound cruel at all, though I know receiving it was very painful.

It's good that you're moving on.

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truelovewinsall23 Member

truelovewinsall23

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2 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said:

The break up text doesn't sound cruel at all, though I know receiving it was very painful.

It's good that you're moving on.

No those weren’t the cruel ones. He got very nasty and cruel before sending those and then after.  
 

my friends who saw the messages agreed that they where done to be hurtful, maybe to make me not want anything to do with me anymore o don’t know but there where cruel ones 

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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2 minutes ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

He got very nasty and cruel before sending those and then after.  

What was he nastry and cruel about?  What did he say and why?

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truelovewinsall23 Member

truelovewinsall23

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2 minutes ago, stillafool said:

What was he nastry and cruel about?  What did he say and why?

He said my eyes were slightly different sizes, that I had put on weight, that my teeth were yellowish and so on… hence me getting my teeth whitened incase what he said was true. 
 

and another thing, I mentioned my ex showing up closer to me yesterday and everyone thought I was over analysing it. Which I probably was and in a weak moment I saved his profile to my favourites. 

So this morning I woke and saw he’d blocked me…. Ok that’s reasonable. Until I found out he blocked me and unblocked me so that he would be removed from my favourites. And then he changed his dating profile and deleted his pictures. 

I didn’t go looking for him I just assumed he had me blocked and was moving on and didn’t want to see me on the dating site. Anyway I saw someone look at my profileD checked to see theirs and it was his. Same text but no pictures. He doesn’t know I saw his profile as I have my setting so people can’t see me looking at their profile l. 

Now I know it might be reaching,  it just seems odd. If he wanted to block me why not keep me blocked. 

poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

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4 hours ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

I was in great form and then his housemate texted me asking if my ex could bring my stuff back to me. I told him to tell him to just bin them.

So your ex wants to personally deliver your stuff back to you?  After a year and after he recently posted a picture of the two of you on SM?

Note he didn't have the courage to ask himself, he had his friend ask. 

I think there is more to this than meets the eye.  A fear on his part which also explains why he suddenly ended it without warning and with no explanation. 

And now he's back wanting to return your stuff, which imo was an excuse to see you.

That said, I am going to refrain from saying more, as I think it's best you move on. 

Your response to his friend was perfect!  

All the best moving forward!

 

Edited by poppyfields
stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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34 minutes ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

He said my eyes were slightly different sizes, that I had put on weight, that my teeth were yellowish and so on… hence me getting my teeth whitened incase what he said was true. 

These were mean things to say to you and this alone would be reason enough for me to move on and never look back.

35 minutes ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

Now I know it might be reaching,  it just seems odd. If he wanted to block me why not keep me blocked. 

Yeah, I think you are reaching a bit, but it's more likely he isn't sure which is the best do do block or unblock so he just decided to leave as it was for now.  That is why it's best that you block him from everything so you'll stop seeing his actions.  It's keeping you stuck.  He's made it clear he's moving on so block him so you'll stop reaching for crumbs and  take your mind off of him for a while.

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poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

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2 hours ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

The below is the texts I got. 
 

You asked very early on if I was dating for a serious relationship. I said I was, because I thought I was, but I realise now that I don't. You're such an amazing girl. You did nothing wrong, I've always wondered if we were a good enough match because I can't help but see out differences. You've tried to reassure me of this in the past. This is just me freaking out because I'm not ready for something serious, and you deserve someone who does. We could have talked about this but it wouldn't have done anything.  Maybe I do need to date casually for a while. I really don't know.

I'm not used to a relationship this serous, and this isn't anything against you personally but I'm not ready to settle down for the rest of my life. I miss just being single, I don't have exact reasoning. I like the freedom of it. And I don't mean that for riding around. I was never into that.

Yup just as I suspected.  It was getting too serious and he got scared.  And ran away.  

Now after being without you for a while he misses you and is making lame attempts to reconnect. 

The pic on SM, wanting to return your stuff that's he's kept for a year! 

Another commitment phobe, classic case..  Textbook. 

Seems to be going around. :(

 

 

Edited by poppyfields
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truelovewinsall23 Member

truelovewinsall23

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55 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

So your ex wants to personally deliver your stuff back to you?  After a year and after he recently posted a picture of the two of you on SM?

Note he didn't have the courage to ask himself, he had his friend ask. 

I think there is more to this than meets the eye.  A fear on his part which also explains why he suddenly ended it without warning and with no explanation. 

And now he's back wanting to return your stuff, which imo was an excuse to see you.

That said, I am going to refrain from saying more, as I think it's best you move on. 

Your response to his friend was perfect!  

All the best moving forward!

 

We where together for a year the breakup was about 2 weeks ago. 
 

I do regret telling his roommate to bin the stuff but if he doesn’t have the decency to even test and say it himself It says more about him. 

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truelovewinsall23 Member

truelovewinsall23

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56 minutes ago, stillafool said:

These were mean things to say to you and this alone would be reason enough for me to move on and never look back.

Yeah, I think you are reaching a bit, but it's more likely he isn't sure which is the best do do block or unblock so he just decided to leave as it was for now.  That is why it's best that you block him from everything so you'll stop seeing his actions.  It's keeping you stuck.  He's made it clear he's moving on so block him so you'll stop reaching for crumbs and  take your mind off of him for a while.

I agree, he might be the only person in the planet who has made me feel so body conscious and self conscious. I hate him for it, it was like he was trying to knock my self esteem when breaking up. 
 

I don’t know why he was so nasty at the end, I wasn’t being nasty to him. I was as cool as cucumber when replying to his texts asking if he wanted to work on it now that I know how he was feeling and so on.

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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4 hours ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

He is 31 and I’m 29. I was showing him my friends engagement video that she sent to me and I was like awww isn’t that so beautiful. You better do something like that but I’m a joking way and maybe he picked it up wrong? 

You dodged a bullet. it's better to cut your losses. You only spent a year together and now you know you two are on completely different wavelengths. You heavily hinted at marriage and he decided to push back hard against that. Sorry this happened, but rather sooner than later.

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Alpacalia Established Member

Alpacalia

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Good for you for moving on.

Now you can free yourself to be with someone that you can be yourself around.

That's not what you have (had) right now.

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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2 hours ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

I agree, he might be the only person in the planet who has made me feel so body conscious and self conscious. I hate him for it, it was like he was trying to knock my self esteem when breaking up. 
 

I don’t know why he was so nasty at the end, I wasn’t being nasty to him. I was as cool as cucumber when replying to his texts asking if he wanted to work on it now that I know how he was feeling and so on.

I agree with you that he was probably saying those things to get you to dislike him so you wouldn't regret him breaking up.  Obviously he thought you were pretty or he wouldn't have made you his gf in the first place; so don't let his nasty comments make you feel self conscious.

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